Excellent Blog: AnonymousLawyer

[kyleb]

http://anonymouslawyer.blogspot.com/

This is a semi-fictional blog about a big-shot lawyer in a major city, who writes about his experience in day-to-day big firm life. He's the hiring partner, and the entire blog is dedicated to insulting the idiotic people he has to deal with and how he makes the lives of people around him worse.

Here are some excerpts:

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I overheard one of the associates say, "The dog really brings some life into this place. I don't feel so alone." I gave her some more work to do after I heard that. She's supposed to feel alone.

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I've had it with one of my associates, and after today I'm making sure I never work with him again. We had a conference call scheduled for 7:00, and I told him to come by my office and we'll do it from here. So at 6:56, he knocks on the door. I didn't know who it was, I said "come in," and there he was. At 6:56. I looked at my watch. I asked him what he wanted. He said he was there for the conference call. I told him the conference call was at 7:00, he was 4 minutes early, and I didn't want to see him until 7:00. I don't have 4 extra minutes to entertain an associate. My time is valuable and if the call isn't until 7:00, I don't want to see him until 7:00 on the dot. Not a second before. He looked at me and said, "what do you want me to do for 4 minutes?" I told him I didn't care. Walk around the hall. Go to the bathroom. Or, better yet, get some damn work done. It's not just 4 billable minutes for me, but it's 4 billable minutes for him too. Ridiculous. And by then it was 6:57, and I told him to shut the door on the way out. 7:00 comes and he's not back, I start the call myself, and it wasn't until 7:02 -- practically 7:03 -- when he waltzed back in like nothing was wrong. I put my phone on mute, looked at my watch, told him he was late, he stood there like an idiot, and I told him to get out and I'd find another associate to help me. Crazy. He can't even read a clock. How can I expect him to be able to do good work if he can't even tell time. We don't ask that much of these people. All we ask is they show up on time, prepared and ready to work. And he couldn't even do that. I've lost all patience with people like him.

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Of course you want your employees hyped up on caffeine (or worse) whenever possible. Red Bull, coffee, bowls of amphetamines in the supply closets, it's all part of what makes a firm function as well as possible.

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Outstanding.

[Farfenugen]

How fictional is semi-fictional?

The blog is humorous but I think its a good example of what is wrong with corporate america. I can see this guys associate creating a blog about how his law firm is run by nazis. Who needs that [censored] in the pursuit of money?

[Anacardo]

The second quote kind of makes me want to go to work on this nigga with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch.

[neuroman]

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How fictional is semi-fictional?

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My thoughts exactly, this is pretty funny but if it's even close to real then color me scared.

[kyleb]

Man, you guys are huge nits.

[Evan]

Wow, you really think this is good? This is either completely retarded or a poorly written satire.

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the entire blog is dedicated to insulting the idiotic people he has to deal with and how he makes the lives of people around him worse.

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Is that supposed to be good/cool?

[Evan]

[ QUOTE ]
Man, you guys are huge nits.

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I don't think it's got anything to do with being a nit. It's just not written well or not entertaining (it's hard to tell if he's just bad at doing something funny or if he's actually trying to make something weirdly bad).

www.leveragedsellout.com seems like a much better version of what this guy is trying to do.

[kyleb]

Well sorry, AnonymousCritic.

Jesus christ, you've been uppity for the past few days. I can't even imagine how angry at the world you're going to be when you move to Cleveland.

[edfurlong]

People move to Cleveland?

[train.]

this thread is turning out to be much better than any blog could ever hope to be