Taco Bell Virgin Breaks Cherry

[samjjones]

I am 31, and before today, have never eaten Taco Bell.

I woke up this morning with a pretty significant hangover. Of course, I did not eat dinner last night, so I was pretty hungry. I'm not sure why I chose today to finally eat some Taco Bell, but I figured today was as good a day as any to finally conquer this fear.

First, I went to the KFC next door to get a mashed potato bowl. I figured that in the event of something bad happening at Taco Bell, I would at least have something in my stomach to help cushion the blow. The mashed potato bowl is really quite good, and I was feeling satisfied after finishing it.

Full of newly gained confidence, I strolled over to the Taco Bell and walked inside. I felt like everybody was staring at me, wondering who was this imposter who dared enter their sanctuary of faux Southwestern goodness. Suddenly, I was overcome with the smell of delicious taco seasonings. There was nobody in line, so I didn't have time to read the entire menu before the counter lady began asking me what I wanted.

I froze. What was good here? Dammit. Why didn't I get some advice beforehand? Two parents and their kids got in line behind me. Crunchy cheesy gordita? What is that? Cinnamon twists? That sounds good. The kids began swinging on the rails and screaming. I blurted out "Can I have two cruncy tacos, and I'll try the spicy chicken soft taco please!" I gave the lady four bucks, and stepped to the side. I quickly received my food in a tiny plastic bag.

I sat down, and like an anxious child on Christmas morning, hungrily tore open my packages.

First, I tried the soft spicy chicken taco. The chicken paste had a pleasant flavor, but there was a severe lack of cheese, and the tomatoes weren't very fresh. The soft flour taco was equally bland. I was unimpressed with this selection, and cursed myself.

The two crunch beef tacos were a different story. I usually do not care for lettuce on my tacos, but this lettuce was fresh and crunch, providing a wonderful contrast in textures to the flavorful ground beef. There was a copious amount of shredded cheese on top, and everything came together really well. I'm pretty sure I can put down 15 of these with no trouble.

Feeling redeemed, I left the store resolving to not let another 31 years pass before I sample Taco Bell's other offerings in the future. Bravo, TB.


Cliff Notes: I ate at Taco Bell for the first time today. It was good.

[Habib Marwan]

crunchy tacos are the worst thing on the menu

[SackUp]

your first taco bell order seems much like a first time at sex. It was really great b/c you have never had it before, but once you try the rest of the menu you see how truly sad the first time was.

[TBag]

Eat the cheesy gordita crunches. They're chalk full of delicious.

[samjjones]

[ QUOTE ]
crunchy tacos are the worst thing on the menu

[/ QUOTE ]

I hate beans, and I don't know what menu items contained beans or not. Considering the hard taco is probably their basic item, I thought it was a very safe selection.

Please suggest non-bean related menu items for future investigation.

[samjjones]

[ QUOTE ]
your first taco bell order seems much like a first time at sex. It was really great b/c you have never had it before, but once you try the rest of the menu you see how truly sad the first time was.

[/ QUOTE ]

Great analogy. Coincidentally, I finished the tacos in about 30 seconds.

[Klompy]

chalupas ftw

[killsadie]

chalupas + cheesy gordita crunches

all day, everyday

[Case Closed]

[ QUOTE ]
Eat the cheesy gordita crunches. They're chalk full of delicious.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am addicted to those things.

[jesusarenque]

[ QUOTE ]
crunchy tacos are the worst thing on the menu

[/ QUOTE ]