Making Big Life Decisions

[theBruiser500]

I'm confused and lost on how to do what is said in the subject of my post. I went to elementary school, junior high then high schools. That's a lot of years of my life all easily planned out. Then i went to college and had a very tough decision in whether to take a semester off to go for a hike which I eventually decided to do, however the plan was to always come back to college. Now a few years later my well definited path in the woods (perhaps with a couple of side trails) actually becomes a large field, it's not clear where the different parts of the field end up (maybe they somehow lead to the same place?) and to make it harder even if I could see destinations I don't know which destination I would want.

Maybe a better analogy is there is a path on the mountain which I've been following all my life. It's gone up and down but it's been the only choice so I trust it takes me to the top and do the best I can to follow it. Now there is a point where the trail diverges like a tree, branches off in a few different ways immeadiately and then from those paths it branches off into many other ways. Some of the paths are ill defined and require bushwhacking and a lot of navigational skills of my own. Those paths could be the most promising but right now they lead into undergrowth that is so dark it's scary. There are some paths that are easy to see that take an easier grade into the sun. It's hard to believe on principle that such a path could lead to the top of my mountain though.

School problems are easy, the goal is always clear... In trig it's to find the angle in a triangle, in english to understand what the book is saying, in history to argue one point in an essay about why something happened and so on. To analyze a decision like "should i go back to bolivia to play soccer, take night classes at Harvard or go back to UMass Amherst?" is another matter entirely. It would be like in history being asked "what should the US's policy be on immigration", the essay could go on forever, there are a millino different points to choose (or not choose) to focus on and in the end as hard as most people try they won't get such a complicated quesiton right. Unlike math questions, there is no way to verify if the answer is right after coming up with a solution. Do most people even think about these decisions or stumble along the easiest path? I think it's the ladder because speaking for myself at least, my brain is definitly not equipped to deal with these questions and its hard to imagine other people doing it well either.

[theBruiser500]

maybe those analogies are stupid but it was interesting to me at least to keep going with it and i'm curious what you all think about this subject

[snorer]

it's best to try and not overthink this kind of stuff, man. There's no right/wrong answer, it's a matter of "following your heart". If you're going to do any of the things you mentioned you should ask yourself what you're going to get out of them, and what you're going to have to give up for them, but from my experiences usually those kind of decisions aren't even decisions, meaning I have no choice, I just feel what I have to do or want to do and go ahead and do it. For what it's worth, I don't think what you're looking for that's missing in your life is going to be found directly by making any of these decisions. You're just going to end up racking your brain. Go with the flow

[Actual God]

Don't sweat the small stuff?

['Chair]

Bruiser,

I know where you are coming from. My mind sometimes wanders around the "what if"'s the "what could have been"s and the "what will be"'s. This is usually about the time I slip a Clonazepam under my tongue to free up my mind (read - pill that aids in sleeping and anti-anxiety).

There are a million cliche's to choose from...

my favorite line for times like these "Don't be a pu55y, go Buc's" which is a saying from a drunk friend of mine.

that said...

it doesn't take a whole lotta brains to be mediocre. so worse case scenerio, you'll be mediocre.



oh and PS. money makes it easier to be happy, so don't be poor since I think you are looking for happiness and life fulfillment.

[riverrchic]

[ QUOTE ]
Do most people even think about these decisions or stumble along the easiest path? I think it's the ladder because speaking for myself at least, my brain is definitly not equipped to deal with these questions and its hard to imagine other people doing it well either.

[/ QUOTE ]

While I don't know if anyone's brain is equipped to deal with these questions, I think this is a fairly normal experience for any smart, self-aware person (as you obviously are)... Especially college-aged. Yes, it's cliche (should be in the stale/obvious thread), but this sounds like a pretty standard quarter-life crises. I went through my own for about 2 years (age 22-24), now at 25 I think I'm on a pretty cool path, but still question it every once in awhile and also think about all the other ridiculously cool paths I could be on as well. (I think that if I was on another path, I would be thinking about the ridiculously cool stuff I'm doing right now)...

Just bear with it; the fact that you're thinking about this stuff and NOT just doing what's handed to you is great. Every option you make will be the "right" option, b/c you really only get 1 choice.

And know that you're definitely not alone in trying to figure this weird life-stuff out.

[fish2plus2]

Most people just stumble through life. How the [censored] else are we supposed to do it.

[EgoSlasher]

What you choose is far less relevent than actually making the decision with no regrets. Whatever choice you make own up to it and accept it as the best decision you could make at the time and you can't really go too wrong.

[jeffraider]

You're wealthy, healthy and young. Just do whatever makes you happy at the moment.

[theBruiser500]

actualgod, at first i thought your post was a joke but it isnt, point taken.

fish2, don't understand the point of your second sentence.