I don't want to fund terrorism.

candyman718 · #1 10-12-2006, 02:35 AM

I want to do my best to not lose money to terrorists. If this needs to be moved to a strategy forum, go ahead.

I need to know the following things:

1) How do I know who the terrorists are at my table. In real life they make attempts to look normal and I assume they will at the online poker table too. Other than a name like "Osamaneverbluffs" what am I looking for?

2) Do terrorists play poker differently and what is the best anti-terrorist strategy? I know how to play against TAGs and LAGs but how do I play against someone that is going to use my money to buy WMD's and IED's? Is it just a cliche that a terrorist will go all-in at any time?

Shouldn't President Bush be saying that we need to bust them at online poker before they bust us in Brick and Mortar Casinos?

The whole thing has me confused . Please help

NozeCandy · #2 10-12-2006, 02:37 AM

The terrorists are the ones who bet with a royal flush on the board to boost rake.

Synergistic Explosions · #3 10-12-2006, 02:39 AM

If you see someone at the table who respects Matusow for his blowups, you probably are playing with a terrorist.

John Rwanda · #4 10-12-2006, 03:00 AM

If someone keeps whining about bad beats and takes it upon himself to teach you how you should have played your hand, that's a terrorist.

TakenItEasy · #5 10-12-2006, 03:08 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I want to do my best to not lose money to terrorists. If this needs to be moved to a strategy forum, go ahead.

I need to know the following things:

1) How do I know who the terrorists are at my table. In real life they make attempts to look normal and I assume they will at the online poker table too. Other than a name like "Osamaneverbluffs" what am I looking for?

2) Do terrorists play poker differently and what is the best anti-terrorist strategy? I know how to play against TAGs and LAGs but how do I play against someone that is going to use my money to buy WMD's and IED's? Is it just a cliche that a terrorist will go all-in at any time?

Shouldn't President Bush be saying that we need to bust them at online poker before they bust us in Brick and Mortar Casinos?

The whole thing has me confused . Please help

[/ QUOTE ]

Good point, it's not just a CEV vs $EV calculation. It's CEV vs Life EV tough to calculte the right pot odds.

candyman718 · #6 10-12-2006, 03:08 AM

Or perhaps a player that is still whining about a bad beat they took during the Crusades? Something like , "Saladin had pocket crossbows and Richard the Lion Hearted (who had kings of course) hit his gutshot on the river. I will get even if it takes me 1000 years"

cantac · #7 10-12-2006, 03:10 AM

That's the whole problem. The "sleeper cells" in the US get their money by playing online poker, and then use it for explosives and training in the US. This is why financing of online gambling has been banned.

Note that the US Army and Navy are currently training special operations in techniques of advanced no-limit Hold'em and Omaha H/L to take down the SNG's and high stakes ring games where terrorists are known to collude.

I personally took down a $5 MM award for busting the bankroll of the infamous Mohammed Ek All-In in a $1000 rebuy, during which he re-bought 1000 times and I took him out every time...my KK to his AA...record number of suckouts in history.

(My 2 eurocents)
- (not) The Truth

John21 · #8 10-12-2006, 03:16 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Or perhaps a player that is still whining about a bad beat they took during the Crusades? Something like , "Saladin had pocket crossbows and Richard the Lion Hearted (who had kings of course) hit his gutshot on the river. I will get even if it takes me 1000 years"

[/ QUOTE ]

Nice. Suckout = Infidel. No wonder they're so p!ssed.

DeliciousBass · #9 10-12-2006, 03:21 AM

No offense Big Brother, but I already stopped smoking weed to do my part in the terrorism battle.

Now poker too?

Next thing those terrorists'll be into is guns and bombs and whatnot. Do we have to stop participating in those industries when that happens? America? I guess I'll wait on that answer.

Jerry D · #10 10-12-2006, 05:14 AM

I think Ebay supports terrorism as well. I heard there were some terrorists selling some old counterfit baseball cards on there and using the proceeds to fund terorism.

Mr. Frist: We need to shut Ebay down. NOW!