A new perspective on relationships?

[The Stranger]

Especially in reference to the big breakup thread today and this one I posted earlier in the week (where a young girl's girlfriend died).

I spoke with a good friend who has always given me good advice last night about my experience on Sunday. And about my fear of abandonment.

(if you're atheist or agnostic or whatever, hopefully you can see some value here)


Feelings are appropriate, but we can choose whether to stay in pain. Or we can choose to operate on a higher spiritual plane. To not use people, and think of them in terms of making us feel good or making us feel bad. Go out of the house and do the things you do, and God will put the right people in your life. In times of "loss," our spirit can wish the other person's spirit well, and not have it be all about us.

Please, before the flames start coming in, I'm not preaching. I think there's a very strong chance that my friend is more than a little crazy here. I just thought it might merit discussion.

[EricW]

I think that going out and believing that a "higher power" will work things out for you is pretty asinine.

Also, to believe that things will "work out" is pretty naive. Most people in this world live unhappy lives. It's funny because everyone has an optimism bias. Surveys that ask university students how successful they'll be in the future reveal that most students believe they'll be successful. Unfortuatenly, that's far from the truth because not everyone can be above the mean.

It's better to be realistic and see what you can change rather than tooling around believing that one day a high power will set things right for you.

[Claunchy]

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I think that going out and believing that a "higher power" will work things out for you is pretty asinine.

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Why do people say things like this? It's like athiests feel the need to evangelize the same way fundamentalists do.

I'm not religious at all, but I know people who are deeply religious, and to dismiss faith in a higher power as something "asinine" is incredibly closed-minded.

[EricW]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I think that going out and believing that a "higher power" will work things out for you is pretty asinine.

[/ QUOTE ]
Why do people say things like this? It's like athiests feel the need to evangelize the same way fundamentalists do.

I'm not religious at all, but I know people who are deeply religious, and to dismiss faith in a higher power as something "asinine" is incredibly closed-minded.

[/ QUOTE ]

So let me get this right, you think that praying to a higher power to work things out is a better than accessing how much /what you can change and then doing your best to change it?

Also, that higher power thing IS asinine because rather than facing reality, you're giving yourself false hope.

[Scotty.]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I think that going out and believing that a "higher power" will work things out for you is pretty asinine.

[/ QUOTE ]
Why do people say things like this? It's like athiests feel the need to evangelize the same way fundamentalists do.

I'm not religious at all, but I know people who are deeply religious, and to dismiss faith in a higher power as something "asinine" is incredibly closed-minded.

[/ QUOTE ]

dismissing faith in a higher power is close-minded, though that is not what the poster was saying

he is saying that counting on a higher power to make everything in your life work out is asinine - which imo is pretty correct

[Duke]

I'm pretty sure this thread should be moved to the SMP forum. That's the home for all the religion threads.

It's impossible to have a thread about dealing with problems by having faith not be exclusively about religion.

[Claunchy]

[ QUOTE ]
Feelings are appropriate, but we can choose whether to stay in pain. Or we can choose to operate on a higher spiritual plane. To not use people, and think of them in terms of making us feel good or making us feel bad. Go out of the house and do the things you do, and God will put the right people in your life.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nah, I don't really think OP's saying he's just gonna sit around and wait for God to sort it out. He's saying he's gonna make a choice, a conscious effort, to view his relationships in a different way. Just because God might be the vehicle to that realization doesn't make it asinine.

[Claunchy]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm pretty sure this thread should be moved to the SMP forum. That's the home for all the religion threads.

It's impossible to have a thread about dealing with problems by having faith not be exclusively about religion.

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, I was thinking that too, but that forum really, really sucks, and I don't think it was the OP's intention to start a debate over the existence of God (nor was it mine, sorry if I started anything).

[Dementia]

I didn't interpret what he said as closed minded or unrealistic. It just sounded like, if you put yourself out there and do what you need to, there will be a silver lining for you. Believing that God/a higher power helped you channel those good things into your life is where the faith comes in. To each his own.

[The Stranger]

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I didn't interpret what he said as "keep your chin up, and God /higher power will reward you". It just sounded like, if you put yourself out there and do what you need to, there will be a silver lining for you. Believing that the higher power helped you channel those good things into your life is where the faith comes in. To each his own.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah, I think you're getting what I'm trying to say.

I'm talking about taking very difficult actions over a long period, trying to treat people in a non-selfish way, looking for what I can give rather than what I can get. For me to do that consistantly, I have to have a framework stronger than whether I have a bad day or a headache or whatever, so I don't change my mind halfway down the path. My friend uses "God" as his motivator.

I'm far from religious myself, although I try to be open-minded on such things.