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#1
10-06-2006, 02:28 PM
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twenty dollars
On their wedding night, the young bride
approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined. Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments. Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!" That's when she shot him. You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut. 
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#2
10-06-2006, 04:04 PM
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Re: twenty dollars
Would have been better if you had deleted the last paragraph.
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#5
10-06-2006, 04:31 PM
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Re: twenty dollars
Wow, that last paragraph turned what was a pretty funny joke into complete crap. Did you steal this joke from Cosmo or some man-hating chick mag?
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#7
10-06-2006, 06:07 PM
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Re: twenty dollars
How about this one I got today?
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I cannot figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." "Second, I want you to put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box." ScottieK
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