I didn't get laid last night! Trip Report!

[RayPowers]

Cliff notes: Long and whiny. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

So, Wednesday is my normal pub poker night, where I hang out with my Dad and some friends. Driving home with the wife, I mention some frisky statement about how I want to get her naked, etc. She seems very into the idea, but we both know I have pub poker, and I normally get home after she has fallen asleep. She also mentions she is tired, and has a lot of work to do tonight, so I mention I'll make her a deal; I'll not go to pub poker if I can stop and get Chipotle for dinner (we normally are "on our own" for dinner Wednesdays since I go to a pub) and I'll let her take a power nap while watching the kids. She agrees and comments about how we'll get naked after the kids go to bed.

We eat dinner, she naps, I play with kids, she gets up and starts on her work, kids and I watch movie, we both put kids bed, and then... she goes back to work. Not exactly the getting naked I was expecting, but she does have to get work done, so I sit down to read some 2+2 and watch the Pro Poker Tour.

Shortly after, the wife starts making comments about how I am addicted to poker and its all I do, and how much time I spend on it. This is right after we had a conversation last week that I spend too much time on the computer (presumably playing poker), and I agreed to not be on the computer while the kids were awake, which I have stuck to, faithfully. In addition, I've been playing Magic Online more lately, and have dived head first into season two of Lost (see other threads). In all reality, I haven't been doing much poker, and in fact, I gave up poker tonight to be with her. So this statement cranks me quite a bit and I let her know. I tell her that I've not been doing that, yes I do realize I spend a lot of time on my hobbies in general, but I'm making it sure it doesn't impact the family, and she's being a killjoy in complaining about the things I like to do.

She apologizes for being a killyjoy, but really, what did she expect from that conversation? I accept her apology, but am still kinda cranky in general that she ruined my "high" of having a nice relaxing evening despite not getting the immediate nakedness I was expecting.

Eventually she is done working, and says she is going upstairs to bed and wants to know if I want to come. Well , of course I do. Duh. So I finish up an email, shut out the lights and such and go up, and she's laying in bed reading a book. Exciting.

I start trying to fool around but she's not into it because she "can''t be intimate when the relationship is broken" and asks me if I want to talk about it. To my wife, a relationship is "broken" every time we have any fight. I tell her we already did. I already accepted her apology, I said nothing is broken in the relationship, so what exactly do we need to talk about. She says "nothing I guess" and of course now she's annoyed at me. Fantastic.

So now I am super annoyed at her because she basically has set up an entire situation where some inflammatory comments she made has resulted in not only me getting any, but somehow it being my fault because I'm not talking to her about something I have nothing more to say on.

I am, in some way, proud of her for such a good Kobayashi Maru, but I'm still pretty pissed off.

Ideas on a better way to handle it?

Ray

[Slow Play Ray]

[censored] it, just divorce her.

[SackUp]

Start whacking off and shoot it everywhere, including on her eggs. Then you too can have the best trip report ever...

[Georgia Avenue]

Dude, this sounds eerily familiar to me. Take it from me: do something about this now. I wish I had some actual advice, but all I can safely say is Take This Problem Seriously.

gl,
--GA

[deadbody]

My wife and I occasionally fight about my hobbies and stuff, but it sounds like you have done the right things. Cut down on them for more family time, my guess, she knows she was in the wrong, and you will be getting apology sex/good meal later this week (maybe kinky weekend fun) that's how it goes at my house.

[27offsuit]

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Start whacking off and shoot it everywhere, including on her eggs. Then you too can have the best trip report ever...

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..can't stop laughing...

[4_2_it]

This is sadly standard. Wife hints at sex, but manages to goad you into a spat over something stupid. The mood is broken and you don't get any.

[NSchandler]

#1 Why did you give up your night with your dad and friends at the pub just so you could have sex with a woman you've had sex with hundreds (or thousands) of times already? But that's off topic...

#2 It seems the problem with your relationship runs deeper than just her being mad because you were on the computer last night. She's probably bothered by much larger things, and it will come out sooner or later if you don't deal with it now.

[RayPowers]

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#1 Why did you give up your night with your dad and friends at the pub just so you could have sex with a woman you've had sex with hundreds (or thousands) of times already? But that's off topic...

#2 It seems the problem with your relationship runs deeper than just her being mad because you were on the computer last night. She's probably bothered by much larger things, and it will come out sooner or later if you don't deal with it now.

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#1 is because I honestly just wasn't in the mood to go out, so it was a win win..... theoretically.

#2 I have an underlying issue to this as well where she loves to talk about how she got involved in Magic because it was a big part of my life when we met (since I run all these tournaments as a side job) and how she preaches to her friends about getting involved in their boyfriends interests or it will never work out, but of course for some reason this doesn't apply to hobbies that don't make me money. Running tournaments makes me money. Since I don't play poker very often, I'm profitable, but it doesn't make me much money. So I have a subconcious "my wife is being hypocritical" crank going on there as well.

Deadbody: I think that is how it will go. She apologized twice last night and once this morning, but I still haven't gotten any darn it! [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Ray

[TheDudeAbides]

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Dude, this sounds eerily familiar to me.


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