Fantastic Lies you've heard from live players.

[Dids]

Insired by the "avg 1k a day live mgm pro" thread:

One of the things I love/loathe about live poker are the just insane lies you will hear from people at the table.

My two favs:

Guy playing 4/8, badly, in a tiny ass casino in WA:

"I was playing 60/120 at Bellagio (a limit that GuyOnTilt was pretty sure they didn't spread at the time) with Sam Farha and he folded AA to my KK on a AKK flop because he could read me"

Guy in Vegas last week at his 4/8 table.

"My wife won a 10K slot jackpot last night" and then 10 minutes later "My wife won a 6k slot jackpot last night. I bought her diamond earings (which she was wearing, and they were impossibly small) and a $55 dinner at the MGM!!"

Saddly he left before her win could diminish further.

[crfergu]

PLO table was just starting and a girl commented about a certain player who would be sitting down soon, "Christmas comes early this year... He lost 9 million a while back in Louisiana". The player in question was an older guy (probably 70+) who called down 2 other players in a 400+ pot(1/2 game) with a pair of kings, so she was definitely right about the Christmas coming early party, but I highly doubt the 9 mill.

[TopThis]

A few years back at my old homegame (had a lot of people, so often many new players) this 20 year old version of fred durst comes to play. This guy says he is a pro sponsored by FTP. Dumps 2 buyins in about 30 minutes and then peaces out, never to be seen again.

I guess for some people sponsored means they got a sign up bonus?

[bcubed72]

Playing 1/2 NL in ACY, flopped set of Ks, then turned quads. River was a 7, making board K97K7. I bet 1/2 pot ($30), opponent makes it $100, I push. Opponent thinks, then says: "You don't have a king, do you?" I acknowleged that I didn't, he calls my all-in for $220 w/ 7s full. When I turn over quads, he's livid, but I calmly explain to him (and am backed up by two others at the table) that I DID NOT lie to him: I most certainly did not have A king.

[sirpupnyc]

[ QUOTE ]
I calmly explain to him (and am backed up by two others at the table) that I DID NOT lie to him: I most certainly did not have A king.

[/ QUOTE ]

You may have been right, but you were also about on the same level as saying you had "two pair...kings and kings."


ObB&Mlie: ummmm, I got nothin...move along, nothing to see here.

[SpeciesFlora]

I had a guy in Binion's tell me that 8s were mathmatically more probably to come out than any other card. He even showed me his tattoo of crazy 8s to prove it....

[danzasmack]

[ QUOTE ]
Playing 1/2 NL in ACY, flopped set of Ks, then turned quads. River was a 7, making board K97K7. I bet 1/2 pot ($30), opponent makes it $100, I push. Opponent thinks, then says: "You don't have a king, do you?" I acknowleged that I didn't, he calls my all-in for $220 w/ 7s full. When I turn over quads, he's livid, but I calmly explain to him (and am backed up by two others at the table) that I DID NOT lie to him: I most certainly did not have A king.

[/ QUOTE ]

If I asked you if you had a dollar and you had 2 $1 bills in your pocket you would say yes. Next time just say "I have pocket kings" and he will still call you and you won't look like a douche at the table

[Percula]

Young "pro" at the Casino Arizona 5-150 tables...

"Playa" raises my button for the ump'teenth time and I find aces, and as I am stacking out a raise, he pipes up with...

"Ya know I am a pro, this is my game" (said in a gangster voice as to say he owns the game)

"Really, so how much do you make out of this game?"

"I made $9000 last week"

"Really, interesting (with much doubt in my voice)..."

"What you dont beleive me?"

"No because I played here almost every night last week, and I did not see you cashout once. In fact I did not see with more than 2 buy-ins at any time last week".

"Humm, you must be thinking of someone else"

Said to myself... "How the hell could anyone mistake your flashy, nasty, self centered, obnoxious self for anyone else in the world!!!"

"OK, maybe I was then..., I raise max, do you just want to get it all in pre flop since you make so much out of this game? It's only 3 buy-ins in play..."

[KidLifeCrisis]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Playing 1/2 NL in ACY, flopped set of Ks, then turned quads. River was a 7, making board K97K7. I bet 1/2 pot ($30), opponent makes it $100, I push. Opponent thinks, then says: "You don't have a king, do you?" I acknowleged that I didn't, he calls my all-in for $220 w/ 7s full. When I turn over quads, he's livid, but I calmly explain to him (and am backed up by two others at the table) that I DID NOT lie to him: I most certainly did not have A king.

[/ QUOTE ]

If I asked you if you had a dollar and you had 2 $1 bills in your pocket you would say yes. Next time just say "I have pocket kings" and he will still call you and you won't look like a douche at the table

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think it's douche to lie about your hand. Poker isn't a game of honesty, screw the guy that asked about his hand.

[bema03]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Playing 1/2 NL in ACY, flopped set of Ks, then turned quads. River was a 7, making board K97K7. I bet 1/2 pot ($30), opponent makes it $100, I push. Opponent thinks, then says: "You don't have a king, do you?" I acknowleged that I didn't, he calls my all-in for $220 w/ 7s full. When I turn over quads, he's livid, but I calmly explain to him (and am backed up by two others at the table) that I DID NOT lie to him: I most certainly did not have A king.

[/ QUOTE ]

If I asked you if you had a dollar and you had 2 $1 bills in your pocket you would say yes. Next time just say "I have pocket kings" and he will still call you and you won't look like a douche at the table

[/ QUOTE ]

Better yet, just lie to him and when he gets livid, admit that you lied. No need to get into verbal jousting with a guy that is idiotic enough to ask that type of you-have-a-King question.