I just threw $100 in cosmetics into the garbage can at SFO airport

[bad beetz]

I just threw the following items into a wastebasket at SFO airport:

New bottle Christian Dior Fahrenheit Cologne ($60)
Fancy hair stuff my moms got me ($20)
Toothpaste, deodorant, shave cream ($15)

How am I going to get laid without my fancy new cologne? Or deodorant for that matter? Man I so didn’t want to wait in that line, I’ll just get new stuff at the gift shop at Caesars.

The chick attendant was like “you sure you want to throw that away? I love that stuff, you should check it.” And I’m like “I’m rich byotch!” Actually I just moped and tossed it in.

I had to remove my sandals. SANDALS, [censored], SANDALS!

Could I have gotten back in line and checked my bags and still made my flight? Probably, almost assuredly…. Definitely, 100% But, [censored]! Man did I not want to. And would I have had time to write this waste of time post? Definitely not.

If I see a terrorist today I’m going to kick him squa in the nuts and then make him buy me some cologne and introduce me to some hot ass female terrorist. Then I’m going to roundhouse kick her in the nuts and shoot her squid with lasers from my eyes.