Regrets?

Non_Conformist · #1 08-03-2006, 05:11 AM

I woke up Monday to find someone I like and business I like being threatened with a lawsuit from a guy who has a been a dick to me and a girl who tried to use and play me.

Regardless of how ridiculous any legal threats were these things still cost money and time. But more than that it was wrong and petty and when someone wants to play hardball, I don't believe in backing down and I think I can play with the best of them. I was pissed, I wanted to help those I like and I wanted to win. So I did what maybe I do best, I became an [censored].

By the end of the day any notion of legal threats were blown out of the water, and the couple responsible were profoundly ridiculed and humilated at my plotting and my doing.

As a result maybe a marriage was damaged, maybe lives ruined and yes this is ultimately a result of their actions, and they made their own bed, and I used only the truth to do it. But tonight, now that its all settled in and the [censored] side of me has subsided I feel bad, I feel like [censored] actually and I hate feeling like this. I don't want to be that guy but I think I am and that makes me sad.

I don't know if that constitutes regrets or not, or what that means if it does.

confused,
-NC

PartyGirlUK · #2 08-03-2006, 05:14 AM

You did them a huge favor.

doucy · #3 08-03-2006, 05:34 AM

Conformist,

I am very interested to hear further details of this story. It sounds good.

But yeah, I know how you feel. It blows. Just try to look at it optimistically. If you hadn't done what you did, your friend and his/her business could have suffered. And you stood up for what you believed in, which nobody can ever fault you for.

Hope everything works out for the best.

emon87 · #4 08-03-2006, 05:37 AM

OOT [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] you.

And,

= [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

BluffTHIS! · #5 08-03-2006, 05:51 AM

NC,

I would just like to say that I think you have the sensitivity to make a good mod of this forum.

Arbitrage · #6 08-03-2006, 05:52 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I woke up Monday to find someone I like and business I like being threatened with a lawsuit from a guy who has a been a dick to me and a girl who tried to use and play me.

[/ QUOTE ]

I quit reading after this paragraph.

raisins · #7 08-03-2006, 05:54 AM

I don't know if this will make sense but here are a couple of thoughts.

Two ways of looking at this.

First, you aren't going to feel good all the time. Even when you do the right thing. From time to time bad feelings come and go just like the good ones. Sometimes it's appropriate to do an ugly action or an action with tragic consequences. It's completely normal to have feelings that reflect the sadness of the situation.

Second, did you handle this as well as you could have? I don't mean just in terms of your actions but your intent. Intent is sometimes downplayed with the thought that it's "results that matter". I don't believe this. If you did it because you felt vindictive or opportunistic then your feelings express regret over being a mean person. When you considered what to do, did you think about what would be best to do for the situation as a whole or about what you could do because now you had the opportunity? I think that the worst reason to do something is because you can.

How do you tell the difference? If you feel like the action overall was appropriate but know the others are in a bad place it's the first. If you feel like you acted impulsively or didn't have anyone's best interests at heart, it's the second.

What to do? Awareness cures.

raisins