Introspection and Self-Awareness...

[SparkyDog]

Anyone know of good books/resources that address these topics? I'm sure it's an incredibly broad subject, but if I were a little more aware of the root causes of my emotions and impulses I think they might be easier to deal with. Does anyone know what I mean?

[kutuz_off]

Try searching for books about introversion. I read "The introvert's advantage" and wasnt too impessed but I think that's the kind of thing you need.

[esad]

This is too vague a question. What problems do you have or think you have? Need a starting point for guidance otherwise you might end up reading a book on the underlying causes of overt aggression when in reality you are shy.

[SparkyDog]

Yeah, I was afraid it was too general a question. I'd say the biggest problem is I find myself often doing/saying things that I shouldn't do because of their emotional motivation. Anger's probably the most significant one, I often find myself overreacting and losing perspective, and I'm not really sure why.

I was discussing meditation with someone, and they described it as not suppressing or denying your thoughts, but merely being aware of them and setting them aside. It occurred to me that if perhaps I had a greater understanding of myself I'd make better and more mature decisions. You can probably see the obvious poker application, but it certainly affects other areas of my life.

[george w]

you should discuss meditation with that person more; they sound like they know what they're talking about.

you sound like you would be interested in buddhism. i think an accessible book that really only gives practical advice from a buddhist standpoint is The Art of Happiness by His Holiness the Dalai Lama.

buddhism says that the root cause of all suffering is our ignorance of mind's true nature. from this basic ignorance, we develop an ego or a sense of self, which we identify with as real. from that "I" or ego or self, the emotions come up. all this is illusory from the ultimate standpoint of mind's true nature but we think the emotions and everything are real and we act on them which in turn creates more problems for us.

sorry this is all very rough and maybe not clear and definitly not complete. a good teacher or book could do a much better job. i could give you some more book recomendations if you want.

[Utah]

[ QUOTE ]
I often find myself overreacting and losing perspective, and I'm not really sure why

[/ QUOTE ]The most likely reason is that you are simply genetically programmed to be that way and to a degree you always be like that. You cant supress those feelings and you cant deny them. Best is simply to learn coping mechanisms. Meditation sounds like an interesting approach.

imho - trying to understand yourself and trying to understand why you act this way is likely a frustrating dead end because the answer is existential - you are simply that way and others are not. That has positive and negatives and being that way is not a bad thing. You simply need to embrace it.

Personally, I am a hothead prone to strong emotions, anger, and overreaction in situations. Yet, I rarely find myself in trouble because I learned a lot of ways to deal with those feelings - go for a walk immediately, stop talking and get out of the situation, write letters I will never send, etc. Better, I learned ways to use it to my advantage. If you are prone to strong emotions those same emotions can help you in crisis and they can help you enjoy things more than others can when the emotions are triggered by positive things in your life.

Good luck

[raisins]

[ QUOTE ]
I was discussing meditation with someone, and they described it as not suppressing or denying your thoughts, but merely being aware of them and setting them aside. It occurred to me that if perhaps I had a greater understanding of myself I'd make better and more mature decisions.

[/ QUOTE ]

Whoever described meditation to you did so accurately. Your take on improving your decision making is unlikely to be helpful. Conscious understanding is over rated. You may discover the partial origins of some of your thoughts or beliefs or feelings but not all of them. Whether you know what causes them or not it won't help in handling them, only practicing detachment will help in seeing the thought or feeling arise and letting it go without reacting. The desire for understanding is connected with the need to be right and with the need to have an opinion. If you want a greater sense of equanimity you may find yourself having more success by remaining present and paying attention to your thoughts and bodily sensations without acting out.

raisins

[SparkyDog]

[ QUOTE ]
The most likely reason is that you are simply genetically programmed to be that way and to a degree you always be like that. You cant supress those feelings and you cant deny them. Best is simply to learn coping mechanisms. Meditation sounds like an interesting approach.

imho - trying to understand yourself and trying to understand why you act this way is likely a frustrating dead end because the answer is existential - you are simply that way and others are not. That has positive and negatives and being that way is not a bad thing. You simply need to embrace it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I can't say I know enough to say if you're right or wrong or even if such a thing can be said. The only way to be sure it's a dead end is to see the path to it's end. I suppose you could say I'm trying to find out.