Best Internet Insults

Scavengerfolk · #1 07-09-2006, 01:22 PM

Years ago, when I first started to play poker on the internet, I noticed that there were two types of insults. There is your run of the mill, "you're lucky and stupid and won't win in the long run" type and then there are those that are far superior in creativity and effectiveness.

One of the first truly great insults that appeared in my chat box was "You would call a cat on a tuna boat." It was cutting, creative, to the point, but (most importantly) it was funny.

I also like the multi-step insult that requires the target to get involved. For example:
Scavengerfolk: "You are fat and stupid."
NetDonk696969: "Dude, I'm 6'1" and 180 pounds."
Scavengerfolk: "Ok. Ok. You aren't fat."

I've got some good ones but I need some new material. Please hit me with your best chat insults.

Miyogi · #2 07-09-2006, 01:26 PM

OMG WTF YOU ARE TEH SUX NUBZOR!!!1!!

-zero- · #3 07-09-2006, 01:55 PM

Ya I think you're a tool.

PokerProfile · #4 07-09-2006, 02:23 PM

Party fish gold:

ba11er6969: ten two XXXXing jackass
ba11er6969: preflop for a XXXXing dollar
ba11er6969: you need a tampon adjustment
fish: had one couler
ba11er6969: what a douche rag
ba11er6969: im going to rape her eye socket
fish: and i can mis 4 dollars
ba11er6969: behold
ba11er6969: tampongina
ba11er6969: it walks
ba11er6969: it breathes
ba11er6969: it plays poker
ba11er6969: allright tampongina
ba11er6969: what do you have this hand
ba11er6969: tampon gina
ba11er6969: whats your secret...

[note: I was neither ba11er6969 nor the fish, in case you're wondering!]

tom10167 · #5 07-09-2006, 02:34 PM

ba11er6969....... what a cool guy.

VladKGB · #6 07-09-2006, 02:53 PM

i had KK he had AK, board was xxxKA i roped him into an all in, this was like the 2nd hand of the $22 STT

Brainwalter · #7 07-09-2006, 03:55 PM

"Later on keyboard commandoes."

raze · #8 07-09-2006, 04:29 PM

I usually just call people Internet heroes or internet superstars, I think that's demeaning enough & I get to chuckle to myself

Adde · #9 07-09-2006, 04:58 PM

# I will do your girlfriend in the ass

(I asked a similar question a long time ago, about shutting up table coaches, and that one was the least friendly one.)

MikeNaked · #10 07-09-2006, 06:13 PM

"Real men cry on the inside."