So I Found Out I was a Millionaire Today

[NotWorthy]

Long-time poster who wishes to remain anonymous:

Today I found out that I had a networth of $1.2 million (minus liabilities to creditors, discussed later).

I've recently married and my wife and I had our first child a few months ago. Due to my new life situation, my father recommended that he and I go visit with his lawyer to draft up a will.

Before our appointment, my father gave me a financial statement form to complete so the lawyer knew where I stood asset and liability-wise. There were some assets he had filled in himself that included $1 million+ in T-bills in addition to about $200,000 in various other stocks and mutual funds.

We went out to lunch before our appointment with and discussed the origin of my "wealth". Apparently, my grandfather left me $70,000 when he passed away over 20 years ago. Since then, my father, whose very successful career revolved around finance, was custodian or whatever of my inheritance. He managed to grow my inheritance to the hefty sum of which it is today, and for that I am very thankful.

Thing is, I'm now 30 years of age, and have had rightful ownership of these assets since I was 18. At first, this news was rather exciting, but I am also a responsible adult who does not consider this windfall to be party money (although I still very much enjoy partying). I'm married with children and have resposibilities.

Unfortunately, my father casually implied that I am not ready for the "money" (using money although it isn't immediately liquid, so there). A comment from today's luncheon that quickly comes to mind is "You want to make it on your own, don't you?" Another one is "I'll take care of things until you're settled." Settled meaning, not playing p***r for a living (I assume).

One thing is for sure, I'm not worried about my father squandering the money or anything like that, because he is more than well-off himself. The thing is, I'm a little insulted by his comments, because it seems obvious that he doesn't have much faith in me.

I learned that my sisters, on the other hand, who are a bit older than me, received their funds at the age of 25 to do with what they wish. This added salt to the wound. Additionally, while meeting with the lawyer, we were trying to determine what was the best way for our children to receive our estate in the event of our passing. The lawyer told us that the common formula these days is to award 1/3 at 25 years of age, 1/3 at 28, and 1/3 at 31. This made me feel even worse.

A bit about me:

I think I'm a regular guy you got in his fair share (no more, no less) of trouble when I was younger, but since I got caught often my father hasn't forgotten about them (I don't think, this is merely theory given today's events).

1. Junior in high school - parents find a pot pipe in my bedroom while I'm attending a school field-trip.

2. Senior in high school - got into college and subsequently got bad grades for the remainder of my senior year, since I was "already in".

3. Freshman in college - got mediocre grades 1st semester and failed to go to classes 2nd semester resulting in FFFFFF. Got kicked out.

4. Took a year off from college before re-applying. Got re-admitted. 2 weeks before semester starts get a DUI. I was 19 years of age.

5. While reviewing my increased insurance rates as a result of the DUI, my father learns that I also got a fine for open intoxicants in a motor vehicle a few months beforehand.

I graduated from college with a 3.3 GPA (4.0 scale) and have been incident-free ever since. Unfortunately, I hate corporate life or any other job where you have to rely on others to do their part in order to get my job done. I bounced around for a few years before I happened upon you guys and all you do and stuff, and here I am.

In conclusion, I have many great and profitable ideas that would put the money to great use, and I do in fact have a right to it, my father made that clear; however, I don't feel worthy of it. To be honest, I would rather not know that I have this money instead of knowing that it's mine and not feeling comfortable "using" it.

Another thing realized during this whole will thing was the current debt situation of my wife and mine. She had to get student loans for college and grad school, and I have slacked off on my "job" since our child was born and the bankroll is depleted and the credit card debt is high due to the holiday season. Paying off some bills would be fantastic. Buying a house (we currently rent) would be both a good investment and fantastic.

Other than the above, there is really nothing else I would do with the money, as opposed to wise investment and business opportunities. I'm sorry, but T-bills seem to suck for a 30-year-old.

To conclude my conclusion, my father may be right, since I'm a p***r player for God's sake. But I'm also a grown-up, and would like to do what's right given my situation, and that is to manage my wealth. I know my father would do a great job manging it himself, since he's done so up to now, but wtf? I wanted to say something cocky like "Let me know when you think I'm ready" or something like that when the day was done, but I love my father and have great respect for him and his accomplishments, and am torn at what's the right thing to do given the situation.

Thanks for your advice, OOT.

Ps. My wife doesn't know anything [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

[Dominic]

legally, it's your money to do with what you please, right? Tell you father thank you for looking out for you, taking care of your money, and growing it into a sizable fortune.

Then tell him you'll take it from here. No discussion.

[smurph]

I would allow your father to continue to manage your wealth as he is doing so for free. If you want to use/manage a chunk, like 50k of it, you should ask your father and tell him what you plan on doing with it.

I inherited a good chunk of money from my grandpa as well, although its about 1/6 of yours, I'm 20, and I manage it.

[MyTurn2Raise]

Just tell your father that it doesn't matter if you put him in charge because you would choose him to manage the money. Thank him for letting you earn your own way the hard way and not letting you become a trust fund baby. Basically, take the high road. Your rich...don't let petty stuff bother you

[NotWorthy]

Yes, legally it's my money, but I also have respect for my father and his opinions.

Like I said, he made me feel like I wasn't ready, and perhaps he's right, but I believe that he isn't. I mean, most people have normal 9-5 jobs and relatively substantial 401(k) savings by the time their my age. I was on my way before I realized I hated corporate life. He pretty much owned corporate life so he believes it is the right path for me (from what I gather).

I'm always getting "So what's your plan?" and "You can't and/or don't want to play p***r forever, do you?" Comments like this make me feel like I haven't grown up yet. I dunno, maybe this belongs in the psych forum.

[SackUp]

"always bet on black"

[Ron Burgundy]

If your father is such a financial wizard, he would know that you should at least get enough of that money to get out of debt and buy a house.

I think you really need to muster up some courage and speak to him very firmly that you want, deserve, and need that money.

Does he not trust you with money because of your p***r or because of the incidents you had in HS and college, or both? I think you should show him that p***r is a stable and realistic source of income. You should remind him that your a responsible adult now, and it's ridiculous for him to assume that you still behave the way you did in HS.

Ultimately, if he still refuses to budge, then HE is the one being immature, he would be clearly in the wrong, and you should talk to your lawyer and get the money yourself.

[SackUp]

stop not spelling out POKER. no one says we can't say the word poker in OOT, we are just not supposed to have poker topics here. this is a POKER forum, of course people play poker and it will always come up when it comes to life choices.

Sorry for the thread hijack, but that is annoying.

Also, I would let your dad continue to manage most of the money, but start investing in things such as a house and some toys for yourself.

[The Ocho]

your sisters didn't tell you about the money?

it's apparent you aren't ready to handle your dad yet and get your money. fine. in the meantime, i'd bet if you wanted the money to buy a house, pay off the loans, and set up college fund for the baby- pops would help you do that. he can still "maintain control" of the money but you get what you want out of it.

the most interesting thing here is how your wife will respond to all this found money. she might give you a much-needed kick-in-the-ass for you to stand up to your old man.

[Ron Burgundy]

[ QUOTE ]
stop not spelling out POKER. no one says we can't say the word poker in OOT, we are just not supposed to have poker topics here. this is a POKER forum, of course people play poker and it will always come up when it comes to life choices.

[/ QUOTE ]

It doesn't really matter to me either way, but I used poker a few times when OOT was still in it's infancy and people got their panties in a bunch over it, so I censor it so as not to offend anyone.