Herpes - yikes

HerpesHelp · #1 05-19-2006, 11:47 AM

Ok here is the situation:

I have been dating a lady for several weeks now. We have been to movies, we have been out to dinner, we have been to my house to watch movies, we have not however been intimate yet.

Last week she was over watching TV and things progressed to the point where the next step was going to the bedroom. At that point she stopped and said she had something we needed to talk about first. It was a pretty uncomfortable moment but eventually we got to the point where she confessed that she has had genital herpes for several years now. It seems that this is a mild case (if there is such a thing) and she hasn't had an outbreak in over 2 years.

Nothing more happens that evening as this is quite a shock. After she leaves I google to find more info. Of course everthing I find scares the crap out of me and this relationship is over as far as I am concerned. We have talked online a few times since and now I am unsure if I should just stop everything.

Some crazy stats I found are that 1 in 5 males and 1 in 4 females have genital herpes (a large percentage have no idea they have it). I also find that it is theoretically possible to pass the disease on even if an outbreak is not currently happening.

I would just like to hear some opinions of others that have faced this disease.

SHORT VERSION: A girl I dated tells me she has Herpes but we haven't done anything to pass it to me. Should I still give this relationship a chance?

TheBlueMonster · #2 05-19-2006, 11:48 AM

herpes is the gift that keeps on giving

GambleGamble · #3 05-19-2006, 11:49 AM

wacki · #4 05-19-2006, 11:51 AM

[ QUOTE ]
It was a pretty uncomfortable moment but eventually we got to the point where she confessed that she has had genital herpes for several years now.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sounds like a good woman. Many women won't warn you. That is something to consider. Whatever you do don't stop being her friend.

PartyGirlUK · #5 05-19-2006, 11:52 AM

If you think the relationship could turn into something special, then sure give it a go. The woman deserves a chance after being brave enough to admit to the situation (not doing so would be terrible, but it still takes guts to do it). Take things very carefully and take medical advice.

A S U · #6 05-19-2006, 11:54 AM

You can't have a mild case. You either have it or you don't. She is either taking medication, has a lifestyle that cause less triggers for an outbreak, or was misdiagnosed.

That was really good of her to tell you. Personally I don't think I could be in a relationship with a girl if she had herpes. But thousands and thousands of couple do it, I guess it's just a matter of how much you like this girl and how much you are willing to sacrifice to be with her.

TiK · #7 05-19-2006, 11:56 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Sounds like a good woman. Many women won't warn you. That is something to consider. Whatever you do don't stop being her friend.

[/ QUOTE ]

Agreed.

[ QUOTE ]
If you think the relationship could turn into something special, then sure give it a go. The woman deserves a chance after being brave enough to admit to the situation (not doing so would be terrible, but it still takes guts to do it). Take things very carefully and take medical advice.

[/ QUOTE ]

wacki · #8 05-19-2006, 11:59 AM

[ QUOTE ]
You can't have a mild case. You either have it or you don't.

[/ QUOTE ]

This isn't true.

Transmission can occur from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore and may not know that he or she is infected.

http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm#common

kibble420 · #9 05-19-2006, 12:00 PM

HerpesHelp · #10 05-19-2006, 12:03 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You can't have a mild case. You either have it or you don't.

[/ QUOTE ]

This isn't true.

Transmission can occur from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore and may not know that he or she is infected.

http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm#common

[/ QUOTE ]

This relationship is just starting. Who knows what will happen in the next few months as things mature. The part that scares me is that even with precautions I end up with this disease and the relationship ends for whatever reason. I don't want to be the one having the Herpes talk with my next prospective partner.