Halloween in Madison, Trip Report: NSFW

[jgorham]

I always meant to post a trip report of my Halloween experience, but was too lazy. But my friend just sent me the pictures and put me in the mood again, so here goes. If it is too long, well there are pictures included!

Two summers ago I worked as a counselor with Lead America which is a conference for high school kids. I got to work in DC, Boston and Chicago for a summer, and generally had a pretty good experience. 2 of the girls that I worked with live in Madison (are students there) and invited the rest of us to come out for Halloween this year. Not having better plans I thought this was a great idea, and my friend James (also worked with us) and I flew out for the weekend.

On the way out there, the girls had told us to fly into Madison or Milwaukee as both were close. I told my friend James to buy his ticket then send me the itenerary and I would try to fly in around the same time - he was flying from Arizona, me from LA. When I get his itenerary it said he was flying into Minneapolis, which I tought was odd, because I was pretty sure they said Milwaukee. But I trust James and say [censored] it and book my ticket to Minneapolis.

Turns out Minneapolis is about a 5 hour drive from Madison, and no one wanted to pick me up. James wasn't even there because he had a separate flight to Madison, and I just missed that part of his itenerary. So I had to rent a car to even get out there. I went cheap and got a Dodge Neon, but it still ended up costing me about $50 per day plus gas because I got an extra "you aren't 25" fee. I made the most of my time in Minneapolis though, and stopped off at the Mall of America to see the biggest mall in the country and pick up an FM transmitter for the trip. In the Mall I went through an aquarium, rode a roller coaster, and met Rich Gannon among other things. Also I found the perfect birthday gift for my girlfriend (Complete Calvin and Hobbes). What a crazy mall.

When I finally got to Madison, there was nowhere to park my sweet new rental car. At this point I didn't really care, so I parked it illegally. My friends said they would move it in the morning before their class. Which was a good idea. But of course that night we all got drunk (James and I each brought gifts of booze) and everyone slept through their morning classes. Which probably made them feel better. But my rental car definitely got a parking ticket, which I still haven't paid.

Friday was really the first night of Halloween, but I sorta over did it the night before and spent most of the afternoon watching Star Trek TNG reruns on Spike TV. Seriously I must have watched that show for 3 hours without moving. But that gave me just enough energy to start the Halloween festivities!

My birthday is October 9, and this year my Mom told me she wanted to make me any Halloween costume I wanted. She is pretty good at that sort of thing, mostly from community theater involvement. Being a big fan of the Burger King, I ordered the mask and showed her the commercials online. I realized I wasn't the only person in Madison who would be dressed as such. But dammit I was going to be the best. Here is me on Friday night:



I am even wearing tights. Go right now and find a picture online. That costume is pretty damn close. My friend James came dressed as a threesome, and the girls we were with were dogs. Not even sexy dogs. I think they broke some female Halloween codes.



Wow James looks baked in that picture. Friday night really wasn't that exciting, just a lot of driking at parties and drinking at bars. The real fun started Saturday though, the night of the real Halloween party. On Saturday afternoon we were out on the patio drinking and talking when a homeless man asked if he could join us. He had his own beer, but was afraid of getting in trouble if he was drinking on city property. If he gets caught its a $300 ticket. Which especially sucks when you are homeless. He told us stories (well mostly me, my friends felt kinda weird about it) about police harassment, fights he gets into, what part of the city never to walk alone in, and just the general hobo life. I had never talked to a homeless person in this detail before, and before we took off I went with him and bought him a new military bag as his was broken, and it really was his most dear possession.

Now for Saturday we had a problem, as James' threesome costume took too much abuse and was just done. We had a coat hanger, lab coat, and a pop-up book about fetal alcohol syndrome at our disposal though, and came up with quite possibly the best halloween costume I have ever seen. Here is James as a back alley abortionist, equipped with a drawn fetus taped to a coat hanger:



The costume actually went over pretty well. Left wing people mostly thought he was taking a political stance of pro choice. Right wing folks thought he was being pro life. He told them all that really he was only against back alley abortions, something we can all hate together. The more we drank that night though, the less exciting the costume got. I mean it really only pissed off one guy, and he was pretty much a douche anyway! So James started going up to random drunk girls and saying "Excuse me, I think this may have fallen from your vagina" with his fetus wand.



Most girls laughed at this, but I feel that had a lot to do with the fact that their drunken friends were laughing, and they didn't want to look unreasonable. The best came on the last attempt of the night, when James did it to a girl with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend started laughing, but she got really pissed off. Then he got really pissed off. They both told us all sorts of mean things, some involving copulation with fetuses, and we gave up and went for burritos at QDoba. The burritos were good, but we got trapped inside the place when the police decided tear gas would be a fun game to play. Apparently Madison has had riot problems in the past, and this year the police were not [censored] around. Story.

The next morning I was up at 6 to drive back to Minneapolis. My 12:30 flight time wasn't nearly as nice when I had to drive 5 hours to the stupid airport, but overall the trip was well worth it. I am sure I left a lot out due to the hazyness of all my memories associated with that weekend, but mostly know it was a great trip overall.

[Gunny Highway]

tl;dr and Dude, We're midway through January. Wtf?

[jgorham]

[ QUOTE ]
tl;dr and Dude, We're midway through January. Wtf?

[/ QUOTE ]

Still a good story? Plus I just now got the pictures. Also, James is on my couch and that reminded me. But beyond all I didn't mean to challenge you, and for that I apologize.

[aheravi]

WTF...are you just now sobering up?

[istewart]

Decent report. The only problem is that you dressed up as that [censored] puppet. Many negative points for that.

[namknils]

Dude, you had to go to Madison and you flew into Minneapolis? Seriously? That may be the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I hope you don't make bonehead mistakes like this often.

Other than that, happy halloween.

[Lazy Meatball]

those dog costumes are pretty weak, no cleavage whatsoever.

[jgorham]

Yeah they both had boyfriends so they did a sort of Halloween counter culture thing. It sucked.

[Dudd]

That back alley abortionist costume is hilarious.

[PatJ]

And you left out the best part? what about the uncomfortable girl...

Nice pictures though.