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#1
05-09-2006, 02:19 PM
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Im at a library and i wrote a poem! (criticism welcome)
Pretend like you care
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pretend like you care. I need to feel wanted, I want to lay it all out And stand naked and bare. Tell me Im innocent, show me white lies, make me believe people can repent. Tell me im interesting. Pretend you'll miss me because i can only hide from this infestation. Maggots swirling free telling me im evil wanting me to stop, give me permission to be me. Pretend that you care because I will believe since i want to, and no one else is there. 
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#2
05-09-2006, 02:19 PM
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Re: Im at a library and i wrote a poem! (criticism welcome)
i am about to braek!
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#3
05-09-2006, 02:24 PM
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Re: Im at a library and i wrote a poem! (criticism welcome)
Life shattering before my eyes
Everything is black Unhappiness surrounds us all Someone pay attention to me
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#4
05-09-2006, 02:27 PM
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Re: Im at a library and i wrote a poem! (criticism welcome)
SMB,
I care [censored]
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#5
05-09-2006, 02:30 PM
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Re: Im at a library and i wrote a poem! (criticism welcome)
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#7
05-09-2006, 02:31 PM
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Re: Im at a library and i wrote a poem! (criticism welcome)
Any poem that makes reference to maggots has to be worth something.
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#8
05-09-2006, 02:32 PM
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Re: Im at a library and i wrote a poem! (criticism welcome)
Pretend like you care.
I need to feel wanted, I want to lay it all out And stand naked and bare. Tell me Im innocent, show me white lies, make me believe people can repent. Tell me im interesting. Pretend you'll miss me because i can only hide from this infestation. Maggots swirling free telling me im evil wanting me to stop, give me permission to be me. Pretend that you care because I will believe since i want to, and no one else is there. I rewrote your poem for you: I confuse disinterest and uninterest, which is typical. It wakes me feel wanted and I like to be naked while standing. I believe in repenting people, well, repenting lies at least. Tell me things while I'm naked, miss me when I hide, and enjoy the grubby traction of permission to find me. I like to stand naked and have people tell me things.
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#10
05-09-2006, 02:36 PM
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Re: Im at a library and i wrote a poem! (criticism welcome)
[ QUOTE ]
Pretend like you care. I need to feel wanted, I want to lay it all out And stand naked and bare. Tell me Im innocent, show me white lies, make me believe people can repent. Tell me im interesting. Pretend you'll miss me because i can only hide from this infestation. Maggots swirling free telling me im evil wanting me to stop, give me permission to be me. Pretend that you care because I will believe since i want to, and no one else is there. I rewrote your poem for you: I confuse disinterest and uninterest, which is typical. It wakes me feel wanted and I like to be naked while standing. I believe in repenting people, well, repenting lies at least. Tell me things while I'm naked, miss me when I hide, and enjoy the grubby traction of permission to find me. I like to stand naked and have people tell me things. [/ QUOTE ] I like it
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