Trip Report: Qualative features of a "nasty dance"

[henrikrh]

The participants:

3 Friends, Joe and Bob are good friends, Bob and henrikrh are very good friends, Joe and henrikrh have just met recently but all 3 will be flatmates next year. Joe is very rich and likes to spend his money.

The setting:

A strip club in Scotland, quite a nice place, on a monday night.

The Story:

We walk in, Joe pays the cover charges and gets us the first round of drinks. We get scotch whisky on the rocks, trying a new brand, McAllen's I believe it was called, very very light bodied, I ddin't really like it.

Joe gets a few lap dances while Bob and I chill, talking about various crap. Later, as we are all standing around, coincidentally talking about how less attractive strippers have better skills, a cut black stripper with a slight pot belly and rather small [censored] comes up to us asking if we want lap dances, Bob and I politely decline, and then she asks Joe if he wants a "naughty dance". Joe's curiosity is piqued, and he asks "how naughty?". I [censored] you not, this is what the stripper said:

"For 10 pounds I sit on your face and bite your dick"

Joe needs no further convincing and is quickly whisked off into a booth. He comes out about 5 minutes later with a really strange expression on his face, somewhere between joy and shock. We ask him, "So, did she sit on your face and bit your dick?" He nods. He doesn't mention it again and steers the conversation away the few times we bring it up.

Over the course of the night we did scientifically manage to prove the fact that stripper hotness to skillfullness is inversely proportional.


CLIFF NOTES\
-We went to a strip club
-Stripper sat on my friends face while bitting his dick
-He is somewhere between traumatised and overjoyed


The incident reminded us a little of snu-snu from the amazon women episode of futurama.

Later Bob gets a round of whiskey without telling us which whiskey it is, I take a sip and correctly call out that it is famous grouse. I felt like a damn connosieur, despite FG being the most, umm famous, scotch whiskey.

(names changed to protect the very very guilty)