beat: my dump was so big my ass was bleeding

[john kane]

i got home earlier from work, and becuase i was expecting having a [censored] to be really gassy i didnt want to take a [censored] at work yesterday or today becuase the only time i can go is when we have a break and they'll be a number of other guys in the toilet.

last night i was shitfaced so didnt go (i never have a [censored] when im drunk) to toilet, so when i got home tonight i finally could unleash on the toilet.

i had a massive crap, like the turd just kept coming out of my ass.

i think felt a weird sensation, like i had a huge hole in my lower stomach.

so i go to wipe my ass, and i look into the toilet bowl to see how big my turds were (they felt massive and very long so i was interested). i then see the swirls of blood in the toilet bowl water and thought '[censored], i have ripped open my [censored]'.

i then wiped and there was a noticeable amount of blood on the toilet paper. the vessel had stopped flowing once i pulled my boxer shorts and trousers up.

advice: take a dump when you need to so you do not have blood flowing out of your ass when you finally take a [censored].