Things you can say to tilt people

[cts]

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

[TheChad]

once in a while, I'll say "I charge (insert a little over pot size that I just scooped here) per hour to baby sit. So, you still owe me (insert difference here)."

[MychCumstien]

what happens when the donk misses and berates you?

True story: I have AA PF. I raise, he reraises, I shove, he calls.

He shows KK. My hand holds up, and for the next 5 minutes, he's calling me a donkey for shoving AA PF, lol.

[HustlerLA]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Holocaust jokes. Especially if a lot of your opponents have big noses.

[/ QUOTE ]

Here's something funny: You're banned for five days.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nice ban, good to be in a game full of da jews. Not to bright to make jew jokes in a forum ran by a member of the tribe himself D.Sklansky, and played by Gabe Kaplan, Stu Ungar, Jack Straus, Perry Green, Eric Seidel and Steve Kaufman – that’s Rabbi Steve, a scholar of ancient languages at Hebrew Union College who consulted on the Dead Sea Scrolls and made the final table of the World Series of Poker in 2000. He was immortalized in Jim McManus’ book Positively Fifth Street along with a few other Jewish players.

Ohh yeah and me too.

[MychCumstien]

back to the original topic. I was at a table (online), and one player was on mega-tilt. He kept getting sucked out on left and right.

The high point: after one particularly bad suckout, he asked the player who sucked out on him:

"how do you call my raise?"

The other player replied..."push button".

That one had me going for awhile, lol.

[MychCumstien]

here's an example of tilting at its best. This was during a party poker session awhile back.

#Game No : 4266414680
***** Hand History for Game 4266414680 *****
$400 NL Texas Hold'em - Sunday, May 14, 10:26:00 ET 2006
Table Crazy Cash (Real Money)
Seat 6 is the button
Total number of players : 10
Seat 6: sovenok ( $174 )
Seat 2: MychCumstien ( $413 )
Seat 3: knelson ( $173.57 )
Seat 8: amagerole ( $400 )
Seat 7: Abnyc111 ( $78 )
Seat 10: ZEEK83 ( $376 )
Seat 1: Mister_Pie ( $123 )
Seat 5: Oakterrace ( $172.12 )
Seat 9: Bobby838 ( $400 )
Seat 4: EZ2CYIOU ( $247.78 )
Abnyc111 posts small blind [$2].
amagerole posts big blind [$4].
EZ2CYIOU posts big blind [$4].
Oakterrace posts big blind [$4]. Note his post.
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to MychCumstien [ Tc 5s ]
ZEEK83 calls [$4].
Mister_Pie folds.
MychCumstien folds.
knelson folds.
EZ2CYIOU checks.
Oakterrace checks.
sovenok calls [$4].
Abnyc111 calls [$2].
amagerole checks.
** Dealing Flop ** [ 2c, 2h, Ks ]
Abnyc111 bets [$25].
amagerole folds.
ZEEK83 folds.
EZ2CYIOU folds.
Oakterrace calls [$25].
sovenok folds.
** Dealing Turn ** [ 6h ]
Abnyc111 checks.
Oakterrace bets [$39.33].
Abnyc111 calls [$39.33].
** Dealing River ** [ 7s ]
Abnyc111 checks.
Oakterrace bets [$10.34].
Abnyc111 is all-In [$9.67]
Oakterrace shows [ 2d, 7h ] a full house, Twos full of sevens.
Abnyc111 shows [ Kc, 3c ] two pairs, kings and twos.
Oakterrace wins $0.67 from side pot #1 with a full house, Twos full
of
sevens.
Oakterrace wins $169 from the main pot with a full house, Twos full
of
sevens.
Game #4266420001 starts.


Abnyc111: what are you doing in the hand?
Oakterrace: blind just came in
Abnyc111: XXXXX stupid people win on this site
Abnyc111: what you mean blind?
Abnyc111: sovenok was dealer
Oakterrace: I just came in, understand?
Oakterrace: If u don't know how it works keep your mouth shut
Abnyc111: what? XXXX you and your family and everything your about
Abnyc111: keep ur mouth shut, 72


#Game No : 4266435527
***** Hand History for Game 4266435527 *****
$400 NL Texas Hold'em - Sunday, May 14, 10:30:43 ET 2006
Table Crazy Cash (Real Money)
Seat 3 is the button
Total number of players : 10
Seat 6: sovenok ( $170 )
Seat 2: MychCumstien ( $399 )
Seat 3: knelson ( $144.57 )
Seat 8: amagerole ( $396 )
Seat 7: Abnyc111 ( $70 ) He reloads
Seat 10: ZEEK83 ( $414.30 )
Seat 1: Mister_Pie ( $73 )
Seat 5: Oakterrace ( $263.12 )
Seat 9: Bobby838 ( $459 )
Seat 4: EZ2CYIOU ( $235.78 )
EZ2CYIOU posts small blind [$2].
Oakterrace posts big blind [$4].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to MychCumstien [ 8c Ts ]
sovenok folds.
>You have options at Table 98101 (No DP) Table!.
Abnyc111 raises [$15].
amagerole folds.
Bobby838 folds.
ZEEK83 folds.
Mister_Pie folds.
MychCumstien folds.
knelson calls [$15].
EZ2CYIOU folds.
Oakterrace folds.
** Dealing Flop ** [ 9h, Ac, 9c ]
Abnyc111 is all-In [$55]
knelson calls [$55].
** Dealing Turn ** [ 7s ]
** Dealing River ** [ 5c ]
Abnyc111 shows [ Ad, Jd ] two pairs, aces and nines.
knelson shows [ 6c, Tc ] a flush, ace high.
knelson wins $143 from the main pot with a flush, ace high.
Game #4266438217 starts.

Abnyc111: are you kidding me right now
you XXXXX amateurs
what the [censored] is this place man
you and oakterrace
i thought the higher you go in blinds the better quality players, more
money
Oakterrace: leave
Abnyc111: how do you call my raise
Knelson: push button
MychCumstien: lol
Abnyc111: pre-flop 10 6? are you kidding me?
the regular joke. push button
you shouldn't be playin poker


#Game No : 4266454082
***** Hand History for Game 4266454082 *****
$400 NL Texas Hold'em - Sunday, May 14, 10:34:54 ET 2006
Table Crazy Cash (Real Money)
Seat 7 is the button
Total number of players : 10
Seat 6: sovenok ( $178 )
Seat 2: MychCumstien ( $819.60 )
Seat 3: knelson ( $217.57 )
Seat 8: amagerole ( $392 )
Seat 7: Abnyc111 ( $117.39 ) He reloads again
Seat 10: ZEEK83 ( $414.30 )
Seat 1: Mister_Pie ( $153 )
Seat 5: Oakterrace ( $235.12 )
Seat 9: Bobby838 ( $141.70 )
Seat 4: EZ2CYIOU ( $229.78 )
amagerole posts small blind [$2].
Bobby838 posts big blind [$4].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to MychCumstien [ 9c Jd ]
ZEEK83 folds.
Mister_Pie folds.
MychCumstien folds.
knelson calls [$4].
EZ2CYIOU folds.
Oakterrace raises [$8].
sovenok folds.
Abnyc111 folds.
amagerole calls [$6].
Bobby838 calls [$4].
knelson calls [$4].
** Dealing Flop ** [ 5c, 6h, Kc ]
amagerole checks.
Bobby838 checks.
knelson checks.
Oakterrace bets [$15].
amagerole folds.
Bobby838 folds.
knelson calls [$15].
** Dealing Turn ** [ 9d ]
knelson checks.
Oakterrace bets [$60].
knelson calls [$60].
** Dealing River ** [ 2s ]
knelson checks.
Oakterrace checks.
knelson shows [ Tc, Jc ] high card king.
Oakterrace shows [ As, Ks ] a pair of kings.
Oakterrace wins $179 from the main pot with a pair of kings.
Game #4266459691 starts.


Abnyc111: thats right lose your money knelson you little XXXX
learn the game moron
Oakterrace: you need love
Abnyc111: you need to take that [censored] somewhere else

#Game No : 4266489722
***** Hand History for Game 4266489722 *****
$400 NL Texas Hold'em - Sunday, May 14, 10:42:51 ET 2006
Table Crazy Cash (Real Money)
Seat 5 is the button
Total number of players : 10
Seat 6: sovenok ( $174 )
Seat 2: MychCumstien ( $809.60 )
Seat 3: knelson ( $174.37 )
Seat 8: amagerole ( $373.75 )
Seat 7: Abnyc111 ( $175.12 )
Seat 10: ZEEK83 ( $386.30 )
Seat 1: Mister_Pie ( $156 )
Seat 5: Oakterrace ( $323.12 )
Seat 9: Bobby838 ( $112.32 )
Seat 4: EZ2CYIOU ( $199.78 )
sovenok posts small blind [$2].
Abnyc111 posts big blind [$4].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to MychCumstien [ Jd 9d ]
>You have options at Table 105090 Table!.
amagerole folds.
Bobby838 folds.
ZEEK83 folds.
Mister_Pie folds.
MychCumstien folds.
knelson calls [$4].
EZ2CYIOU folds.
Oakterrace folds.
sovenok raises [$13].
Abnyc111 folds.
knelson calls [$11].
** Dealing Flop ** [ Ts, 8c, 6c ]
sovenok bets [$30].
knelson calls [$30].
** Dealing Turn ** [ 8d ]
>You have options at Table 105090 Table!.
sovenok bets [$81.38].
>You have options at Table 98101 (No DP) Table!.
knelson is all-In [$129.37]
sovenok is all-In [$47.62]
** Dealing River ** [ 8s ]
sovenok shows [ Ac, Ah ] a full house, Eights full of aces.
knelson shows [ Tc, Kd ] a full house, Eights full of tens.
knelson wins $0.37 from side pot #1 with a full house, Eights full of
tens.
sovenok wins $349 from the main pot with a full house, Eights full of
aces.
Game #4266494140 starts.

#Game No : 4266494140
***** Hand History for Game 4266494140 *****
$400 NL Texas Hold'em - Sunday, May 14, 10:43:49 ET 2006
Table Crazy Cash (Real Money)
Seat 6 is the button
Total number of players : 10
Seat 6: sovenok ( $349 )
Seat 2: MychCumstien ( $809.60 )
Seat 3: knelson ( $0.37 )
Seat 8: amagerole ( $373.75 )
Seat 7: Abnyc111 ( $171.12 )
Seat 10: ZEEK83 ( $386.30 )
Seat 1: Mister_Pie ( $156 )
Seat 5: Oakterrace ( $323.12 )
Seat 9: Bobby838 ( $112.32 )
Seat 4: EZ2CYIOU ( $199.78 )
Abnyc111 posts small blind [$2].
amagerole posts big blind [$4].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to MychCumstien [ Qc Qh ]
Bobby838 folds.
ZEEK83 folds.
Mister_Pie folds.

Abnyc111: see knelson
Abnyc111: your a moron
Abnyc111: i told you that

MychCumstien raises [$16].
knelson folds.
EZ2CYIOU folds.
Oakterrace folds.

MychCumstien: no need to add insult to injury
Abnyc111: he deserves it

>You have options at Table 105090 Table!.

Abnyc111: took a huge pot from me with 10 6 when i raised 18 preflop

sovenok raises [$78.95].
Abnyc111 folds.
amagerole folds.

Abnyc111: XXXX you knelson
you suck
Abnyc111: good that you lost

MychCumstien: QQ no good sov?
I think you have KK
MychCumstien: good hand

MychCumstien folds.
sovenok does not show cards.
sovenok wins $100.95
knelson has left the table.
Bobby838 has left the table.
Game #4266500077 starts.

#Game No : 4266510449
***** Hand History for Game 4266510449 *****
$400 NL Texas Hold'em - Sunday, May 14, 10:47:25 ET 2006
Table Crazy Cash (Real Money)
Seat 1 is the button
Total number of players : 10
Seat 6: sovenok ( $371 )
Seat 2: MychCumstien ( $819.90 )
Seat 8: amagerole ( $401.50 )
Seat 7: Abnyc111 ( $169.12 )
Seat 10: ZEEK83 ( $342.30 )
Seat 1: Mister_Pie ( $137 )
Seat 5: Oakterrace ( $323.12 )
Seat 4: EZ2CYIOU ( $199.78 )
Seat 3: Fabax ( $400 )
Seat 9: pgfmr82 ( $271.10 )
MychCumstien posts small blind [$2].
Fabax posts big blind [$4].
>You have options at Table 105090 Table!.
pgfmr82 posts big blind [$4].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to MychCumstien [ 7s 2d ]
EZ2CYIOU folds.
Oakterrace folds.
sovenok folds.
Abnyc111 calls [$4].
amagerole folds.
pgfmr82 checks.
ZEEK83 folds.
Mister_Pie folds.
MychCumstien calls [$2].
Fabax checks.
** Dealing Flop ** [ 5c, 2s, 8c ]
MychCumstien checks.
Fabax checks.
Abnyc111 bets [$15].
pgfmr82 calls [$15].
MychCumstien folds.
Fabax folds.
** Dealing Turn ** [ 8d ]
Abnyc111 bets [$30].
pgfmr82 calls [$30].
** Dealing River ** [ Jh ]
Abnyc111 bets [$40].
pgfmr82 calls [$40].
Abnyc111 shows [ Qh, Td ] a pair of eights.
pgfmr82 shows [ 5h, 9d ] two pairs, eights and fives.
pgfmr82 wins $183 from the main pot with two pairs, eights and fives.
Game #4266516866 starts.

Abnyc111: how od you keep calling that?
Abnyc111: oh my god man
Abnyc111: with 5 high
Abnyc111: how do you keep calling man?
Abnyc111: how do you keep calling?
Abnyc111: what the [censored] is wrong with you guys man
Abnyc111: how do you call the raises with only a 5?
Abnyc111: jack on the board 2 8's, flush draw
man go to XXXXX 25/50 cents
stupid player

#Game No : 4266528942
***** Hand History for Game 4266528942 *****
$400 NL Texas Hold'em - Sunday, May 14, 10:51:27 ET 2006
Table Crazy Cash (Real Money)
Seat 5 is the button
Total number of players : 10
Seat 2: MychCumstien ( $815.90 )
Seat 8: amagerole ( $401.50 )
Seat 7: Abnyc111 ( $64.12 )
Seat 10: ZEEK83 ( $352.30 )
Seat 1: Mister_Pie ( $137 )
Seat 5: Oakterrace ( $326.62 )
Seat 4: EZ2CYIOU ( $202.88 )
Seat 3: Fabax ( $394 )
Seat 9: pgfmr82 ( $366.10 )
Seat 6: muttergasti ( $400 )
Abnyc111 posts small blind [$2].
>You have options at Table 105090 Table!.

Abnyc111: XXXXX amateurs man

amagerole posts big blind [$4].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to MychCumstien [ 9c 9s ]
>You have options at Table 105090 Table!.
pgfmr82 folds.
ZEEK83 folds.
Mister_Pie folds.
MychCumstien calls [$4].
Fabax folds.
EZ2CYIOU raises [$15].
Oakterrace folds.
Abnyc111 calls [$13].
amagerole folds.
MychCumstien calls [$11].
** Dealing Flop ** [ Ts, 7d, Jh ]
>You have options at Table 105090 Table!.
Abnyc111 is all-In [$49.12]
MychCumstien folds.
EZ2CYIOU calls [$49.12].
** Dealing Turn ** [ Qc ]
** Dealing River ** [ 8d ]
Abnyc111 shows [ Jd, Th ] two pairs, jacks and tens.
EZ2CYIOU shows [ Ac, Ks ] a straight, ten to ace.
EZ2CYIOU wins $144.24 from the main pot with a straight, ten to ace.
>You have options at Table 98101 (No DP) Table!.
Game #4266532681 starts.


Seat 7: Abnyc111 ( $0 )

Abnyc111: how do you call that?
MychCumstien: lol
Oakterrace: reload
Abnyc111: oh my god man
what the [censored] is wrong wtih you guys?
EZ2CYIOU: lucky
Abnyc111: what the XXXX is wrong with you?
are you retarded?
Oakterrace: how did you play J10off after a raise preflop?
Abnyc111: its a decent XXXXX hand you stupid moron
its wrothy to see the flop
how the [censored] do you call that ez2cy?
EZ2CYIOU: not in that position
Abnyc111: what you mean not in that position?
EZ2CYIOU: early and j10off
Abnyc111: and?
EZ2CYIOU: knew it was comming
Abnyc111: ezi i hope you XXXXX die man
seriously
Oakterrace: put more money in the game
EZ2CYIOU: u need help
Abnyc111: players like you should get beat their living XXXX out of
them
XXXXing retards
calling a 50 dollar raise with a gutshot


Seat 7: Abnyc111 ( $0 )

Abnyc111: i hope you XXXXX die ez2
Abnyc111: or someone close to you
Abnyc111: you XXXXX
Abnyc111: you deserve to get XXXXX hit for doing something like that
EZ2CYIOU: thats not nice
Abnyc111: XXXX you
you XXXXXX
how the XXXX do yo ucall that
go to 25/50 cent no limit
Abnyc111: stop playing on this place if you gonna play like an amateur
Abnyc111: you suk you the worst playher in here
pgfmr82: time to stop whining, stop all the bluffing, and reload
EZ2CYIOU: put some cash on table and shut the xxxx up
Abnyc111: what bluffing pgfm?
Abnyc111: you stupid moron, your anotehr one that calls raises with
ANYTHING
pgfmr82: you bet at me three times with no pair and no draw
Abnyc111: XXXX all of you
Abnyc111: three times
Abnyc111: you stupid moron
you call me with a FIVE when all my raises are bigger than the last
ones
you XXXXX IDIOT
you stpuid moron

Abnyc111 has left the table.

[rakemeplz]

a slowroll with aces and then a lol after the cards are flipped works pretty good on me.

[_Apollo_]

funny thread. nice post MychCumstien.

I personally hate it when someone makes a comment after sucking out when I'm having a bad run. Any comment.

[DMC0627]

[ QUOTE ]
funny thread. nice post MychCumstien.

I personally hate it when someone makes a comment after sucking out when I
'm having a bad run. Any comment.

[/ QUOTE ]

Agree to both. I remember being in a sit and go and raising pocket queens hard preflop (blinds high, antes in effect) and this woman in the BB twirling her hair giggling and calling. She had already doubled up TWICE with the worst of it sucking out. Flop came 2, 6, 8, she hit her 6 (had j6 in hand) and moved all in. I called, she rivered the third six. Then, she proudly, LOUDLY as I get up to leave yelled, SEE! I know how to play! She was dead serious too.

[K3RT4INZ]

When I have the nuts, I like to say "2X me" just before I push all in. I usually get a call because my opponent puts me on a bluff. If he folds, I say "whew! For a sec I thought you was gonna call!" Either way, It pushes the button.