Strategy for going to prison

[sublime]

growing up in a town that has more than its fair share of guys doing double digit stretches in federal prison i would simply found out who would be where i was going, talk to one of his family members on the outside and arrange a protection plan. im some cases it wouldn't cost me anything, in others it would. this is if i didn't know anybody personally, which i probably would. this would just be to make my stay as comfortable as possible really as i think doing time is a lot easier/safer than most people make it put to be.

barring that, i would go in and mind my own business. i wouldn't gamble or smoke or incur drug debts and i would stick up for myself the first chance i got even if it guaranteed an ass whooping.

[trapsetter]

[ QUOTE ]

9:30: Sexy time with wife.

[/ QUOTE ]

He'll probably expect you to put out more than once a day I'm afraid.

[trapsetter]

A lot of the replies have been that you would "skip out" of the country and avoid prison altogether. How exactly would you go about doing this, where would you go, and what would be your plan once you got there?

[splashpot]

[ QUOTE ]
A lot of the replies have been that you would "skip out" of the country and avoid prison altogether. How exactly would you go about doing this, where would you go, and what would be your plan once you got there?

[/ QUOTE ]
You make it sound like you're actually going to prison.

[trapsetter]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
A lot of the replies have been that you would "skip out" of the country and avoid prison altogether. How exactly would you go about doing this, where would you go, and what would be your plan once you got there?

[/ QUOTE ]
You make it sound like you're actually going to prison.

[/ QUOTE ]

Haha. I'm not, but I see what you mean.

[cwes]

[ QUOTE ]
A lot of the replies have been that you would "skip out" of the country and avoid prison altogether. How exactly would you go about doing this, where would you go, and what would be your plan once you got there?

[/ QUOTE ]
1. Convert all your assets into traveler cheques. Make sure numbers can't be associated with your name.
2. Get in car.
3. Cross border.
4. ??????
5. Profit.

[jschaud]

1. sell everything i own and cash advance every penny from credit cards
2. move somewhere with no extradition treaty, SE asia or some random pacific island is looking pretty nice
3. do something until the SOL runs, I'm thinking most of these places I could live like a king playing .01/.02 NL
4. move back so i can visit my niece

[jordiepop]

i would work my way into the brother hood and get really jacked up. only thing i can think of.

[WhoIam]

If I have four months to prepare, I'm getting the hell out. Four months is plenty of time to get various forms of ID and a believable new identity. I'd probably do what I could to change my appearance (for me, that would be eating 5000 calories per day) and work with an acting coach to change my mannerisms. Other than that, I'm spending all my waking hours multitabling and improving my Spanish.

With about three weeks to go, I would pack a backpack with essentials and a ton of cash and illegally cross the Mexican border. Once in Mexico, I would try to keep a low profile and look like any other backpacker. I would then try to charter a boat to take me to another Latin American country (again illegally). Once I found a nice secluded place, I would rent a small house and keep a very low profile. The feds aren't going to spend a lot of resources looking for you if you're just some guy who's facing less than a decade in prison. If you were in the mafia or al quaeda, you would constantly have to look over your shoulder.

I think a lot of you guys are overestimating how easy it would be to go to whatever country you want. How are you going to get there? You're not allowed to leave the country. Even with fake documents, you're taking a major risk every time you go through a border crossing.

[luckyjimm]

Area Man Has Complete Prison-Survival Strategy Mapped Out

SANDY SPRINGS, GA—Josh Kroll, 32, an Atlanta-area database administrator, has his complete prison-survival strategy mapped out in the unlikely event that he is ever jailed.
"You never know what life is going to bring," said Kroll, whose lone brush with the law was a 1994 speeding ticket. "I could find someone sleeping with my wife and, in a psychotic state of shock, kill him. Or I could accidentally hit somebody with my car and then flee the scene in panic. Or I could forget to report some major source of income and get nailed for tax evasion. It's not inconceivable. There's nothing wrong with thinking ahead."
Kroll said he has worked through many possible strategies for prison survival.
"If I'm in a maximum-security prison, I need to figure out who's important and who's not," Kroll said. "There's always the possibility I'm going to have to be somebody's bitch, so if that happened, I'd want to be with somebody who'd protect me. But I might be able to avoid all that because I was pre-law as an undergrad and could be useful to the other prisoners for legal advice."
Kroll, who has never been inside a prison, said he has relied heavily on prison-themed movies and TV shows in his effort to develop a game plan.
"Based on what I've seen on Oz, I'd probably want to steer clear of the weight room," Kroll said. "That's where most of the bullies hang out, plus there's no shortage of blunt weapons lying around. And if at all possible, I'd want to keep away from the kitchen pantry, too. That's where a lot of the stabbings seem to take place on the show—somebody goes in there alone to grab something and gets jumped."
Well aware of the value of having loyal friends on the outside, Kroll has drawn up a mental list of people most likely to stick by him in case of a lengthy prison sentence.
"Unless I was arrested for child molesting, Scott [Havens] would stick by me," Kroll said. "I think Marc [Unger] would, too, but I don't think I could get him to smuggle anything in for me. He'd be too afraid of getting thrown in jail himself."
Kroll said he could not confidently assess the loyalty of his wife in the event of incarceration.
"With things being so rocky lately, Jane just might use prison as a chance to take off and divorce me," Kroll said. "Then again, my imprisonment might be the kind of terrible crisis to bring us closer together. If that's the case, I'm hoping for minimum security so I can get conjugal visits."
Kroll, who has previously drafted survival strategies for getting lost in the mountains, being kidnapped by South American drug lords, and falling into a polar-bear cage at the zoo, said his chances of surviving prison are "good to very good."
"After being released on bail, I would immediately begin my rigorous weight-training and self-defense regimen," Kroll said. "I've even toyed with the idea of locking myself in a closet to get used to solitary confinement. With some books on elementary psychology, I'd probably do pretty well 'in the walls.'"
According to psychologist Dr. Annette Trudeau, plotting out theoretical prison-survival strategies is surprisingly common.
"The human being is an animal with extremely strong self-preservation instincts," Trudeau said. "In this regard, Mr. Kroll's preparatory measures make perfect sense. But while devising emergency plans is understandable, Kroll should realize that no matter how much he prepares, the only thing he can count on in prison is having his creamy white ass churned into butter."

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27860