GF wants to move in...

[warsaw]

How old is your gf?

[man]

21 in syracuse.

I've never lived with someone I was nailing (yet), but everyone I know who has done this has ended up married. it's a huge step and no matter how much you rationalize it ("it makes sense financially," "I like seeing her a lot," etc), that's the direction you're setting yourself in. that's obviously not a bad thing. but if you're nervous about going through another tragic divorce you might be telling yourself that marriage isn't something you want to think about.

[mason55]

23. Lived with a gf, but actually we were roommates who started dating. It was cool, I liked it, although we're no longer together.

[Slow Play Ray]

i'm 29, and i've never lived w/ a girlfriend. i have refused 2 such requests, because i was young and unsure (rightly so, apparently). my current gf is the 1st one ever that i would even consider moving in with, but we have not even been together for a year yet, so it is too early anyway.

basically though, i would say don't so it until you are sure you want to. to me, it seems like SUCH a big commitment...plus i love my independence...i don't need her hanging over my shoulder on a thursday night, wanting to cuddle, when i'm mentally struggling over whether or not to call an all-in with 99...

[Shajen]

SPR,

time is a funny thing dude. My wife and I moved in together at the 2 month mark. It just felt right. We also bought a house together before we were married, and lived together in it for almost a year. Basically what I am trying to say is waiting a set amount of time to make decisions is weird to me.

[Bluffoon]

Im 43.

If she is financially irresponsible now she will probably continue to be so only now it is going to be your problem. If it is something you can deal with then go ahead. If she is totally out of control then of course dont allow it. Keep in mind that once she feels she has someone to bail her out financially she may get worse.

[pistolero]

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How old is your gf?

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28 as well.

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If she is financially irresponsible now...

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It's not that she's irresponsible, but rather she's in a pretty deep hole with a low-paying job and no college degree. She's applying to go to school full time starting in the summer, but that would leave her even less time to work and help out with bills.

[Slow Play Ray]

[ QUOTE ]
SPR,

time is a funny thing dude. My wife and I moved in together at the 2 month mark. It just felt right. We also bought a house together before we were married, and lived together in it for almost a year. Basically what I am trying to say is waiting a set amount of time to make decisions is weird to me.

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i agree - i even sort of contradicted myself in my original post, because i said that it was too soon for me, but told the OP to do it when "you are sure you want to"...i haven't really thought about whether or not i am sure i want to though.

it sucks too, because my gf has been talking about moving out of her place (which has turned into a zoo - 3 small BRs w/ 2 couples, her, and her roommate's 3 cats all living there) and i really haven't said anything about it. i don't know if she's hinting around or what, but she could always live @ her parent's place for free for a little while until they come back from FL for the summer. i'm rambling. rrgh.

[wonderwes]

This is always tricky. I think relationships can be broken when you move into together because you are with that person day in, day out, 365 a year. I mean you sleep, wake up, eat, watch tv, do everything with this person every single day. It works for some, bombs for others. Just depends on the setup. I think unless you are really considering marriage in the near future, you should each have your seperate place. It just works to have your own spot and her own spot. If you end up getting married, you'll live the rest of your lives together.

Maybe a better option is for her to live within a 5 mile radius from you. Its just whatever you feel is best.

[cbragado]

Hi Pistolero,

I haven't read any of the others' feedback btw:

You say that seeing more of her is appealing. Is seeing her everyday, bad hair, no makeup, nagging (or insert any other annoying quality) every day after a long days' work appealing?

You're looking day to day, but is she thinking long term (i.e. marriage)? Is someone you'd eventually marry? Will she be pressuring you for marriage too?

Is she financially independent? Would she end up being a mooch?

I am just looking at things to consider. I would prepare a listing of pros and cons and do some kind of cost benefit analysis.

Better yet make a cost benefit worksheet and post it in this thread LOL! More data for us to work with...I'm 28 and divorced too btw...