Innocent Faux Pas

[blinden84]

We were in line for a roller coaster, I can't remember where, cedar point, 6 flags, whatever, there was this guy that appeared to have downs who just kept riding the coaster over and over again. he was in front of us in line for the second time and my one friends wife had struck up conversation with him.

He started talking about movies and how he liked Vin Diesel, I shuttered and was about to say something like "Vin Diesel is an [censored]" or somethign stupid like that, and then I realized there was a bunch of kids around, and decided to curb my swearing mid sentence. All I could come up with was "Vin Diesel is a retard". Brilliant, I know.

[miajag]

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Why would they be upset about the dark ages comment? It clearly had nothing to do with race.

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Utah said he did not think so either, but the looks on everyones faces seemd to suggest otherwise.

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So they actually thought he was enough of an a-hole to make a racial comment to a room full of black guys? Silly coloreds.

[Bluffoon]

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"When's the baby due?"

"What baby?"

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It's my general rule never to ask this question, unless it's obscenely obvious that someone is pregnant and not just fat.

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Even then, no.

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The real problem with this is when you are on say the subway and a woman comes and kinda looks pregnant but you dont know for sure. Do you offer her your seat? What if shes just chubby? I just get up and leave the car.

[Autocratic]

I was volunteering in high school at the local Special Olympics. I would never put myself in this situation, except that I needed community service hours to graduate.

So there I am, standing on the school track. Retards to my left, retards to my right. They got some chick to sing the national anthem. She was standing on the bleachers, and there was about a 2 second delay on the speaker being used. The problem was that almost everyone was close enough to hear her singing, and so everyone ended up hearing a jumbled mess of the anthem, hearing both her actual voice and her voice through the speaker 2 seconds later. It sounded terrible, and after a while I blurted out "This is retarded." Time stopped for a second, and everyone I was with looked at me like I had just shot their mothers. Luckily none of the retarded kids seemed to be paying attention.

[Gunny Highway]

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I was volunteering in high school at the local Special Olympics. I would never put myself in this situation, except that I needed community service hours to graduate.

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Community service to graduate? Is this standard these days?

edit: Sorry for the hijack.

[Hopey]

Ugh...I can think of a bunch right off the top of my head:

1) One of my co-workers is completely blind. I was in the washroom one day and it absolutely reeked in there. He comes out of the stall and says "You don't want to go in there", and I reply with "Why? Is it not a pretty sight?" Which made absolutely no sense but seemed to poke fun at his blindness.

2) I was at a party last weekend and an old friend from high school who I don't hang out with much anymore was there. A Johnny Cash song came on and he mentioned that his mother used to listen to Johnny Cash all the time. His mother was hard of hearing and when you spoke to her she'd usually reply by screaming "WHAT?!?" I did a spot-on impression of her screaming her trademark "WHAT?!?" and then immediately realized that she'd just died a couple of months ago.

3) I was playing poker with friends a few months ago and one of my friends brought along his girlfriend, who used to be fairly hot but has gained quite a bit of weight over the last year. Somehow we started talking about "poker nicknames" and "Sarnia Slim" (Sarnia being her home town) was suggested as her nickname. "Naw, that doesn't make sense" was my reply before I could get foot out of my mouth.

4) I was at the curling club and was having a beer with my opponents after a game. The bartender came around to get everyone to sponsor her for a "Cancer Walk-a-thon". I made some horrible joke about being "pro-cancer"(?!?!?) and everyone at the table became completely silent. It was only then that I remembered that one of my opponents had a wife who was gravely ill with breast cancer.

Sigh...I really shouldn't be allowed to leave the house and talk to other people.

[miajag]

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I was volunteering in high school at the local Special Olympics. I would never put myself in this situation, except that I needed community service hours to graduate.

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Community service to graduate? Is this standard these days?

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It is in Maryland. 75 hours IIRC.

[Anacardo]

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I was volunteering in high school at the local Special Olympics. I would never put myself in this situation, except that I needed community service hours to graduate.

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Community service to graduate? Is this standard these days?

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It is in Maryland. 75 hours IIRC.

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Thou wilt not cower in the dust,
O Maryland, my Maryland!
Thy gleaming sword shall never rust,
O Maryland, my Maryland!

God damn you for compelling me to say that.

[WayAbvPar]

I used to be a dispatcher for a courier service. One of my drivers had a hook/artificial left hand. One day I asked him to unload his truck (I was sending him to a different area, so his stuff needed to go with another driver). I had another driver at the office at the time, so I said "Hey- Hal is unloading his truck. Can you give him a hand?"

Hal was very cool and made a joke about it. I didn't even realize what I had said until he joked. Glad he was cool!

[chesspain]

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Utah then asks the board, "Don't you think you should come out of the dark ages?"
He then looks up into a sea of unhappy faces...


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...and says, "So, you're all too niggardly to pay for a voice-mail system?"