gf's dad...what do i do?

[paperboyNC]

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None of your business

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Even if you married your gf, it would only be your business if the mom asked you for advice.

[Patrick Duffy]

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An important question is: can you take him?

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He sounds like he has successfully turned a crutch into a deadly weapon.

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I figure if I stay across the room and throw stuff, he can't possibly be accurate enough at throwing a crutch to do any real damage. If he catches me though, I'm toast.

Any thoughts on what I should say to gf? I'm not sure there is anything I can really do to relax her aboutt he situation, since it is a very touchy one, but I hate to just sit there in silence or keep saying "yeah I know" or stuff like that. Has anyone been in a similar situation before?

[UATrewqaz]

Even though he sounds like a total [censored], your gf still probably loves him alot deep down and anything you say negative about him she won't like.

So as others have said, yes he is an ass, but don't get involved at all.

[Los Feliz Slim]

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Has anyone been in a similar situation before?

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My wife's family has, at times, sucked very hard. I have learned NOT to try to fix it. Get her to talk about how it's making her feel and really listen. Make sure she knows that you don't think less of her because of her family. Again, there's nothing you can say to make it better, it's just important to be there, listen to her, and validate how she's feeling.

[4_2_it]

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Any thoughts on what I should say to gf?

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Your GF does not expect you to solve this problem. As Slim said, you need to support her. She loves Mom and Dad. Of course seeing this situation is going to be very disturbing to her. Your job is to be a pillar of strength. Talk to her, be supportive and speak honestly, but do not tell her what to do. That has to come from her.

Good luck.

[gumpzilla]

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My wife's family has, at times, sucked very hard. I have learned NOT to try to fix it. Get her to talk about how it's making her feel and really listen. Make sure she knows that you don't think less of her because of her family. Again, there's nothing you can say to make it better, it's just important to be there, listen to her, and validate how she's feeling.

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This seems like very solid advice. Among other things, attempting to interfere with her parents isn't necessarily going to have the kind of effects you think it would, even if it did anything. I can almost guarantee that she would take a huge ration of [censored] for it, and that in and of itself would cause some serious tension. This is all assuming that she would even appreciate you butting in in the first place, which she probably wouldn't. This is admittedly a somewhat selfish perspective, but as others have pointed out, her mom could presumably leave if she wanted to.

If your conscience really demands you make a go at this, the best route is going to be through your girlfriend. She at least has a chance at succeeding (which you don't), and if she does it then it doesn't bring up any of the complicated issues that arise from you directly meddling in her family.

[Roybert]

Start treating your girlfriend like crap. Every girl wants to marry a guy who reminds them of their dad.

[Dominic]

it's none of your business.

plus, the woman married him, didn't she? I doubt he was a great guy before the marriage and suddenly turned into a prick afterwards.

You GF needs to talk to her mom about the facts of the situation...not you.

If she wants to stop being emotionally abused and taken advantag of, it's on her.

[gumpzilla]

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it's none of your business.

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I think this is only half-true, depending on how serious the girlfriend is.

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plus, the woman married him, didn't she? I doubt he was a great guy before the marriage and suddenly turned into a prick afterwards.

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I don't see why this is so implausible. While you're definitely right that it is ultimately the mom's responsibility to do something about it, that doesn't mean that a helpful nudge in that direction wouldn't necessarily be a good thing. I agree with you also that the GF should be the one to give it.

[Boris]

None of your business man. Stay way out of it.