I made out with a fat chick last night... (A Trip Report)

[young Nut]

[tuq]

Case in favor of your inevitable banning:
[x] Thinks getting sex from Asian Massage Parlors is creepy and desperate
[x] Likes Fergie and isn't afraid to admit it to a forum full of guys
[x] Posts partial trip reports about making out with fat chicks
[x] placeholder for ElDuque's next unsuccessful bout with retardation

[centaurmyth]

[ QUOTE ]
fat chicks rule btw as long as they are not trying to seduce me with a dutch oven in the morning

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

[aramfingal]

[ QUOTE ]
fat chicks rule

[/ QUOTE ]
i've been waiting such a long time to see these words on oot. thank you.

[Phil153]

This is an interesting post. I've always wondered if porking fatties is actually enjoyable. If a girl is more than ~10kg overweight I won't look at her, but I wonder if I'm missing out.

OP, hurry up and post part II.

[PokrLikeItsProse]

Well, you know what they say about fat girls being like mopeds: they're allegedly fun to ride, but you don't want your friends seeing you on one.

[ElDuque]

PART II

I continue trying to make my move on the 6 (the one who dresses like she is in HS). Aside from the fact that my buddy is making a connection with her friend, she appeals to me because she is plenty good looking enough for my taste at the moment, but not good looking enough to be intimidating. We chat a bit and then we chat as a group and eventually she goes off somewhere with the 8 and the 4 and I am stuck talking to the dude about march madness.

When she and the other two chicks return I get the incredibly pleasant surprise that the dude, the 8 and MY 6 are taking off, leaving you know who behind at the bar because apparently her and the chick Tim is getting with drove 45 minutes together to be here.

Even though I was hammered I was able to make a quick and accurate assesment of the situation. My findings: I have just been demoted from equal partner in the corporation of picking up chicks to the $8/hr wing man in like a nanosecond. Tim's assessment apparently had rendered the same findings because soon he was buying me a double whisky.

And with that I accepted my night's fate.

So I start chatting her up and realize quickly that shez mine if I want her. Fortunately, she was a really nice girl who wasn't very touchy or skanky. I didnt have to beat her off with a pool cue nor did she ever make me want to vomit. My biggest concern was that my ex or one of her friends might see me, but I didnt see any sign of her nor them --- plus I am skizzzunked -- so I forge ahead.

After talking and with some coercing from her stupid friend I wind up dancing to some AWFUL music with her for 10 minutes. Still no touching though. And I am still not mildly attracted to this gurl, but her face is okay enough to look at, unlike her gut.

As luck would have it, our booth was back in the corner by the air hockey table. We're chillin back there with tim and the 7 for a bit. Then the other two split and I realize I have to make a decision.

My options:

1.) C-block my boy and tell him that we need to split
2.) Chill with her, but make it clear that I am not interested
3.) See title of thread

She asks me if I want to dance so more. My immediate thought is I really don't want to be seen on the dance floor with you. Plus, I don't want to dance unless I am feeling the chick up. So what do I do?

What else: I ask her if she wants to make out.

She laughs and sez no so I just go in for the kill, which she gladly accepts. Blah blah kissing. She is not freaky at all -- thankfully. At least she forgot about the dancing idea.

Jimmy report: Still not slightly turned on, but not grossed out either.

The rest of the night gets pretty hazey. I do remember her telling me that shez a mormon and that shez never kissed a starnger. I would bet 10 to 1 that she has her V-card in her purse.

I also recall her asking me over and over why I would abuse my body with cigarettes and pot. I was close to responding that she is abusing her body with food -- but obv I am a nice guy so I diidnt.

Eventually I had to put my arm around her and kiss her again in the parking lot which I didnt care for much.

For closure's sake: My friend didnt get past second base with his broad. He also told me that she is 33 with a 12 year old daughter.

[ElDuque]

[ QUOTE ]
Case in favor of your inevitable banning:
[x] Thinks getting sex from Asian Massage Parlors is creepy and desperate
[x] Likes Fergie and isn't afraid to admit it to a forum full of guys
[x] Posts partial trip reports about making out with fat chicks
[x] placeholder for ElDuque's next unsuccessful bout with retardation

[/ QUOTE ]

Too bad nobody respects you enough to make you a mod or you could ban me yourself.

[Stan Loh]

Hey, everybody needs some loving. Good story mate.

[ElDuque]

[ QUOTE ]
Hey, everybody needs some loving. Good story mate.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks, Dude.