People who badmouth their significant other

[DrewDevil]

There's nothing worse than listening to someone bitch about their SO... except maybe listening to someone cut down their SO in public in front of everyone. Cringe inducing.

[MrMon]

I had a coworker once who babbled on endlessly about "The Wife" and yes, that was her name as far as I could tell. A real dweeby sort of guy, I saw a picture of her once and let's just say she was WAY above his level in the looks department. Just had a baby too, and he always complained about how she hadn't lost the weight, etc.

I was so glad when he was reassigned. Jerk.

[Colt McCoy]

[ QUOTE ]
There's nothing worse than listening to someone bitch about their SO... except maybe listening to someone cut down their SO in public in front of everyone. Cringe inducing.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's embarassing really. I mean how do you respond? "Yeah, I know what you mean. Your wife's a real bitch!"

[Blarg]

Good subject.

People just don't value privacy as much as they used to; sometimes I think everyone is secretly convinced that they're really on TV. People talk commonly now about things that before would either never get shared or only get run by people pretty close to you.

With marriages and jobs and such not being thought of as a lifetime thing by many people, the attachments people have to each other and to their communities are just lower in general. So the sort of mutual respect and commitment to not air out your dirty laundry in public/not run your own people down just doesn't seem important. At least not if it interferes with your own entertainment or cuts short your supply of stories.

I get kind of horrified by seeing this sometimes, too. A husband and wife belittling each other in front of others used to be such a definition of an awful relationship that you could make it into a play like Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf. Now, it's become pretty darn common. Part of the general coarsening of society that's been going on for quite a long time.

[Ser William]

Katy, you'd be surprised at how many guys do this as well. In fact sometimes I wonder if I'm missing out on some sort of guy code where you're required to take little digs and potshots at the ole "ball and chain". It is why I was just wondering if this has become indoctrinated in our culture.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
ser william,

I know so many girls who do this but not many guys who do it. I have a skewed perspective though since I tend to hang out and chat with girls mostly.

In my experience, men are very respectful towards their mates. I guess they only badmouth their S.O. to other guys maybe? Actually, I've never really heard of that either.

I know a girl who was so disrespectful and mean behind her husband's back that I couldn't stand to be around her. It was awkward because I never knew how to respond. They had a very sad relationship.

I think some people do it because they are trying to just talk out their frustrations and vent but really it is pretty tacky.

[/ QUOTE ]

I find this to be true. The guys I know may make the occasional joke or whine about their wife being on their back, but in general they don't try to work it into the shared knowledge base of all their friends and relatives. I've had tons of women friends and roommates, and the stuff they talk about, and the way they talk about it, is way beyond the way most guys talk about their mates unless. Virtually no guy I know talks the way women I've known or just bumped into at random talk all the time.

[Ser William]

[ QUOTE ]
Part of the general coarsening of society that's been going on for quite a long time.

[/ QUOTE ]

Coarsening: That is a really good way of putting it.

[Colt McCoy]

[ QUOTE ]
Katy, you'd be surprised at how many guys do this as well. In fact sometimes I wonder if I'm missing out on some sort of guy code where you're required to take little digs and potshots at the ole "ball and chain". It is why I was just wondering if this has become indoctrinated in our culture.

[/ QUOTE ]

Guys do this, but in very general terms. They're generally kidding around and mention having to check in with the ball & chain or something. I have much less of a problem with this than what women tend to do, which is bitch about specific things their husbands/boyfriends do. To me the way men do it is just much less personal, still not good but not the same.

[Ser William]

[ QUOTE ]
I find this to be true. The guys I know may make the occasional joke or whine about their wife being on their back, but in general they don't try to work it into the shared knowledge base of all their friends and relatives. I've had tons of women friends and roommates, and the stuff they talk about, and the way they talk about it, is way beyond the way most guys talk about their mates unless. Virtually no guy I know talks the way women I've known or just bumped into at random talk all the time.


[/ QUOTE ]

I see it with guys as well, but the tone is definitely different. Often times they'll try and pass it off as a joke or whatnot. But you can only joke about a subject so many times before it at least gives the appearance that there is a grain of truth behind the jokes.

[Blarg]

I've never seen the detail given, when guys talk. Women will often go into tremendous detail about every real or imagined flaw, exaggerate a lot, and make a real evening of it. And the level of disrespect will be phenomenal, as will the level of sharing extremely private things. With guys, a joke about "the old ball and chain" or some level of infrequent low-level whining is generally about it. Men still have a "take care of yourself, be the strong, silent type" of culture. With women, by contrast, gossip is important social currency and often even an addiction.