Im helping my best freind and somehow I look like the bad guy...

[Hopey]

[ QUOTE ]
"He says ok, but hes broke right now and he won't be able to pay me back for a few months" hes broke and probaly actually cant afford it dude. I doubt hes being a cheepo. although i could see how it would seem annoying for you as you obvious want some sort of compoensation for helping your buddy move.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm guessing that the OP has been in similar situations with this guy and the guy never ended up paying him back. Some people have no conscience when it comes to money and paying back friends.

I'm also guessing that it is more about the principle of the matter, and not the money itself. The OP is tired of feeling used.

[shag]

dude just chill out... just buy the damn ticket if he's your friend unless it hurts you financially...

[ElDuque]

Am I the only one who noticed that as soon as your wife got involved things went south??

Your wife = Yoko

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Is it worth losing a best friend over this?

[/ QUOTE ]

of course not!


Give it some time, then call him back and work it out. If he cant pay for your flight and you arent going unless he does, then just dont go. There is also nothing wrong with going even if you pay for it. I flew cross country to help my friend move, and I paid for it, and didnt care, because I wanted to help her. Which i think is the big thing when you do things for someone else like you have done. Like pay for dinners and all that stuff, if you are going to do it, you have to do it because you want to and you are able to, you can never use that against them in the future or keep some running total in your head of how much youve spent on them. If it starts to bother you that it doesnt swing both ways, then you simply stop buying them stuff, but anything you did in the past out of generosity stays in the past. Thats my take on it all anyway.

[/ QUOTE ]

Good points. I actually feel pretty stupid about bring up all the stuff I have done for him. Thats not cool. It's just it would be nice for him to be like oh listen, heres your flight tickent and everything is taken care of. You know what I mean? Thats the way I operate.

If I was in his shoes and he was helping me. I would pay for all of his meals during this weekend and pay upfront for his airline ticket. But you are right. I just hate his non chalantness about everything.

[/ QUOTE ]

of course it would be nice if he did that stuff, I dunno the guy, but its entirely possible if he was able to that thats exactly what he would do.

His non chalantness about everyhting also doesnt mean he doesnt notice or doesnt appreciate it. Guys arent allowed to express emotion and stuff, and they definitely arent allowed to talk about how they are incapable of being bread winners, so im sure the fact that he cant afford stuff and has had to rely on your generosity is something he isnt proud of and would rather never got brought up because it points out his "failures". Course he could also just be a prick and has no problems about being a mooch, you're his friend and you know him best, so you should prolly be able to figure out which it is.

Just call him back and apologize, and be honest with him. If hes a decent guy im sure hell do the same.

[pokerraja]

[ QUOTE ]
Quit being a [censored] nit and help your friend douche bag. The money should be trivial to you (esp if it's from poker), but then the principle is obviously worth more than your friendship.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nice avatar! I agree Im being very nitty here. Im usually not so. I just don't like to be used. But I feel like I should be the better man and help a man in need. We are best friends and his company is great.

dillemaments

[Eagles]

Honestly OOT is not a good place to go with this because in order to give a good answer we need to understand the relationship between you two obviously your best friends but I think in order to actually give a good answer you need to know you and your friend.

[pokerraja]

I just manned up and called him. I basically said im sorry and don't worry about the plane tickets and all of that. He was like cool, no big deal and he also said sorry.

Now i hope he doesnt take my dont worry comment to mean don't pay me? [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]. My don't worry was geared more towards don't worry about paying me now and I will book it myself. lol. But its all good. thanks OOT. You guys are great. Im only helping him because its the noble thing to do, I still don't agree with the way he handled it.

[GBP04]

[ QUOTE ]
Am I the only one who noticed that as soon as your wife got involved things went south??

Your wife = Yoko

[/ QUOTE ]


this was my initial reaction.

[iambusto]

My take is that OP has done favors for his buddy all these years, and doing it so many times made his buddy take OP for granted. I do agree with others that OP shouldnt have stressed so much about what he did for his buddy to his face. But still, I have a feeling OP is being used here by his buddy (maybe "used" is a strong term, how about taken for granted for his generous behaviour).

[Klompy]

I have no idea how well off you are from poker, but if it's anything large enough to where paying for a plane ticket has very little effect on your lifestyle I would never consider making him pay me back. The guys broke and in debt, if he's actualy a good friend just be a friend and pay for your own ticket.