Why should I pay for my son to go away to college?

[edtost]

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Sure, life would be sweet for him to spend 4 years living outa town and partying all the time. But that'll cost me a bunch more $$ (which I'd rather save for my retirement) and won't help him find a better job upon completion.

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As a somewhat mediocre student at a very good university, there is no way the above is true; I see way too many marginal students here getting great jobs/going to great grad schools to think that where we're coming from makes no difference.

[dukemagic]

My thoughts echo that of some others in this thread. I'm currently a junior going to a school away from home, but my best friends live at home and go to a UC near their house. Our experiences have been radically different, and I feel that my college experience has been by far better. They live at home, don't meet people at school, don't get to experience dorm life (a HUGE part of college, IMO), and they haven't lived on their own.

They also miss out on A) studying with other students (a huge advantage of living on campus - it would be impossible for me to complete my problem sets without help), B) socializing (and yes, partying) with new friends, and C) managing their free time- setting goals and priorities, as opposed to at home, where you might say "Why aren't you in bed?" or "Shouldn't you be doing homework now?" Your kid needs to learn those things on his own.

It's also quite easy to institute a penalty for bad grades, as others have said. My parents required the kids to maintain a 3.0 GPA, and when my sister dropped below that one semester, she had to pay for room, board, and rent for the next semester. If you're really worried about him slacking off, you can do something like that, but please, don't restrict him from living on his own and with peers because you think he'll party too much. If he's a straight A student right now, he won't, and the social scene will most likely help.

Edit: Now that I'm reading the other responses more carefully, I realized that I just parroted what others have said. But yeah, sending him out of state is one thing (since it'd be more expensive), but as so many others in this thread have said, I think living at home is a bad idea. So much of college is about living on your own.

[jfresh]

college is definitely more than just the education. kids learn a lot about themselves and about life in general living on their own, away from home. also, you make a lot of life-long friends and connections outside of classes, and its something that is very hard to do while living at home.

college could possibly be the most important 4 years of someone's life. i don't think its worth it to go with the 'reasonable alternative', if your son has his heart set somewhere else. it may only affect your first job, but your first job will in turn affect all your other ones. and as i said, the friends and connections you make will affect you for the rest of your life.

[gol4pro]

if he gets straight A's and isn't a retard he should have no trouble getting a scholarship.

and i can't believe nobody has suggested poker yet.

[Dave D]

Others have said things nicely, but just to add:

Living at home makes you lazy, that means he just won't do his work etc It's bad.

The people I know who currently make what first year lawyers make went to MIT. There is a differnece in undergrads, it IS about that first job. Going to a better undergrad gets you a HUGE head start on everyone else. Ultimatly over 40 years experiance matters a lot more, but the bottom line is that the Harvard grad is going to be making 75k coming out of college, and the Houston one will probably be making 40 (no offense).

Grad schools (particularly law schools) heavily consider your undergrad in admissions, for obvious reasons, better undergrads are harder, and develop better students.

Sending your kid to a better school greatly increases his oppurtunities in life, in basicaly every way. Even the diversity of people he's going to meet at a better school (I mean cmon, how many people from outside of Texas is he gonna meet?). This helps you grow.

Just don't give him much spending money, pay food,rent etc but "fun money" has to come from somewhere else.

Ultimatly the kind of person he is, is already determined by how you raised him for the most part. Him going to college is just going to bring it out for real now (where he's not protected by you). If he "turns" into a liberal after he leaves, the reality is that he probably already was one.

Oh yeah, and my parents paid for college (although I had some help from need based stuff) and I turned out just fine. I went to college a republican, and STILL am one, even being from the Boston area.

[MelchyBeau]

we liberals want to take your kid and turn him into a liberal. We will corrupt him so much MUWAHAHAHA.

Honestly, do you just want him to be your little parrot, believe everything you believe because you believe it? Why should he move out ever? I think he should live under your roof forever.

[ImAKing]

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i completely agree with keyser, fwiw.

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[EricW]

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I live in Houston. I'm a University of Houston grad, and I worked full time while going to night school to support myself and pay my own way. My parents didn't help me at all with college expenses, I was living on my own. I now have a son who is a sophmore in highschool, a great kid who gets mostly straight A's.

Now its my contention, after 20 years in business, that where you get your degree from is completely irrelevant for most occupations. All a degree is good for is to help you get your first job. After that its your work experiences that help you advance your career.

That being said, I'm happy to pay for my son's tuition if he goes to U of Houston, and he can continue to live rent free at home - living expenses being a huge part of sending the kids away to school.. but why should I spend $20K+ / year for him to go to an out of town college? Sure, life would be sweet for him to spend 4 years living outa town and partying all the time. But that'll cost me a bunch more $$ (which I'd rather save for my retirement) and won't help him find a better job upon completion. My thinking is if he wants to go to an out of town school, he'd better land a nice scholarship and be prepared to pay for any expenses on his own that would exceed a typical UoH tuition. I'll also STRONGLY urge him to never go into debt with student loans when alternatives exist.

Those kids who get to go away to college and have everything paid for by mommy and daddy are pretty spoiled - they often turn into sanctimonious liberals who don't have a clue. Why should I do the same for my son when a perfectly good alternative exists here at home? I've also found it to be +EV when I've interviewed for jobs and tell them how I paid my own way thru school.

L8r.. BB

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lol what a douche. I do agree that you don't HAVE to pay for your kid's education but was it really necessary to throw in your 2 cents about politics?

[Colonel Kataffy]

I get the impression that getting out of texas for a little while would be an invaluable experience for your son.

[JP OSU]

I'm glad you're not my dad...