Personal / dating / whatever life situation general advice thread

[JanelleBB7]

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Not sure where to put this, but here is an email (probably just a forward) a coworker sent me. This is one of the few I both bothered to read and actually thought enjoyed (the reply is truly excellent):

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READ THE GUYS REPLY!

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST




What am I doing wrong?


Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush.
I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.


Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board?
Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?


Here are my questions specifically:


- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
- What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings
- Is there an age range I should be targeting(I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who havenothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?


- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, Investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?


- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY


Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication,and keeping a nice home and hearth.





PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:


I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of
your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.


Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!


So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!


So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.


Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.


By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.


With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

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LMAO !!! This HAS to be a GUY!! HAS TO HAS TO! No woman in their right mind would write something like that... PLEASE!!! If this is a woman I hope she lives alone all her days and has 50 cats. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Henry17]

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LMAO !!! This HAS to be a GUY!! HAS TO HAS TO! No woman in their right mind would write something like that... PLEASE!!! If this is a woman I hope she lives alone all her days and has 50 cats.

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I don't know. I know a lot of girls who think exactly like that. They might not actually write it down but they think it. I have one friend who has been single for a few years now. Desperately looking yet if she meets a guy and he makes less then $200k he never gets a second date.

When i tried to find the site I had stumbled on a year ago I actually found 4 devoted to "sugar babes" looking to meet "sugar daddies".

[BingoBango]

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I have a class with a girl that I would like to approach but have a couple problems. It's a big class (~250) and I never end up sitting beside her in class. She usually sits on the same end that I do, but not next to me so I can strike up a conversation. She usually gets there right as class is starting and there aren't many seats left and she never ends up next to me pretty much (always close though).

Haven't talked to her but I found her on facebook. She has very private settings though so I can't see her profile. She seems like a quiet girl, always sits by herself in class but texts a lot (bad sign probably?)

Any suggestions on the best way to get things going?

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Don't contact her on Facebook. I'd go with loitering outside of class. When she goes in go in after her without making it obvious. She shows up late but eventually you'll end up with a seat open next to her. Then just see what happens.

Two things about your post hit me as kind of odd. You know nothing about this girl so why so fixated on her? It has to be just a purely physical attraction. There are plenty of hot girls so why fixate.

The second was the "always close though" comment. Guys have a bad habit of reading things into girl's actions which simply are not there.

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Update: my ex was over and ended up getting on my facebook and sending this girl a message. A friend request with a message along the lines of "I think we have xxx class together at xxx(time)." Obviously against my own will but we hooked up so I can't be that mad. I really doubt that was the best (or good) way to go but we'll see how she responds.

No, I know nothing about her. Purely physical. I wouldn't say I'm that fixated on her, there are a couple other girls who I'm somewhat interested in.

I'm not trying to read the where she sits thing as a good thing. She probably sits in the same area just out of habit.

[jeffnc]

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When you're in a job interview, and the interviewer asks you "what is your biggest weakness?", what would be a good answer to give that sounds like a weakness but would be something that an employer would consider a positive thing?

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Sometimes you take too much on yourself, and you have to get better at delegating responsibility.

Of course, they've probably heard that one before.

[Ben Young]

Ok, here's my deal. three parts.

a) I am disease-ridden. No STD's though, thankfully.
I have Bipolar Disorder, Dystonic Tics(Dystonia), and ADHD.
I might(probably not) have mouth cancer. I'm only 20 and I've been smoking off and on for 2 years. I quit recently for like a week but I bummed a smoke off someone today. The longest I've been quit for is 3 months. a couple weeks ago I noticed white spots on my tongue, and I went to the dentist. He said when I come back to get a cavity filled he needs to see me for 30 minutes. He said its probably just a callous(sp?) and it's gotten better since, but I'm still worried.

b) I've been a Buddhist for like 4 years, and my Dad is deeply troubled by this because he wants me to be "saved." At a temple near my school, I asked if I could take refuge in the Buddha, and they said that for some reason I needed parental permission, which I didn't understand, but whatever. When I told my mom about it she thought I was joining a cult, and even after I told her it wasn't, she wouldn't give permission.

c) I've been taking the semester off, so I'm at home in NJ, and this girl from starbucks has been flirting with me, and I've flirted back, but I haven't been able to catch her on a break recently to ask her if she wants to get dinner or something, and I think it would probably be akward for her if I asked her while she was working.

any advice appreciated

[jackflashdrive]

So I go to the bank and seem to have a good rapport with a hot teller (10 body, 7.5 face). She says something about wishing she had coffee (I had coffee) and so after I leave I get a cup and bring it to her and ask if she'd like to get dinner sometime. She writes down her number and gives it to me.

That was three days ago she gave me the number.

I call the number today and get "The verizon number you've dialed has been changed, disconnected, or is no longer in service." WTF. Is it common for girls to give out fake numbers if they don't want a date with you? Is this the most likely explanation or is it actually possible that her number has simply been disconnected in the last three days?

[stinkypete]

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So I go to the bank and seem to have a good rapport with a hot teller (10 body, 7.5 face). She says something about wishing she had coffee (I had coffee) and so after I leave I get a cup and bring it to her and ask if she'd like to get dinner sometime. She writes down her number and gives it to me.

That was three days ago she gave me the number.

I call the number today and get "The verizon number you've dialed has been changed, disconnected, or is no longer in service." WTF. Is it common for girls to give out fake numbers if they don't want a date with you? Is this the most likely explanation or is it actually possible that her number has simply been disconnected in the last three days?

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go ask her?

[jackflashdrive]

pete: Wouldn't it be pathetic of me to ask her about it, if in fact she did intend to give me a bad number?

[Henry17]

So you know the teller from going to the bank often? If yes then the coffee thing is ok otherwise it is creepy.

Girls do give guys fake numbers all the time. I never ask a girl for her number. If she wants me to have it she'll offer it. Which brings me to my next question did she give you her number or did you ask her for it?

If you asked then 99.9% probability she gave you a fake. If she offered then 90%. If she just wanted to blow you off she could have said she had a BF but she might have felt obligated to be receptive since you just went out of your way. Which is why you should never ask someone out at work if they have a service job nor after you do something for them.

[jackflashdrive]

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Which is why you should never ask someone out at work if they have a service job nor after you do something for them.

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I guess two wrongs don't make a right. No, I didn't know the teller from before that day.

I didn't ask her for her number, but I did say: "Here you go, I brought you a coffee cause you seemed thirsty. Also, I was wondering if you wanted to get dinner with me sometime this week, there's an ethiopian place I've been wanting to try."

Then she said "thisss week?" with a kind of reluctant expression, and then just wrote down the number and gave it to me.

If, as you indicate, my best chance is 10% date, 90% humiliation then there's no way I'm going to clarify this with her in person.

I should probably key her car though, just in case.

EDIT: PS I should add that I don't think getting her the coffee was that creepy, because we actually talked about coffee for a little bit, and the fact that we drink the same beverage (soy mocha).