jokes you've made IRL that flopped

[Daer]

In 8th grade everyone is just sitting at their desks doing work when one of the girls says "What stinks?" Without even thinking I blurt out, "Close your legs." I look up and everyone is staring at me wide-eyed. After staring back at them for about 3 seconds I put my head down and go back to work.

[jonnyd]

this thread is gold all over it

i only have one that i can remember very well

it was in 8th grade gym class. we had to watch some anti-drug propaganda videos in class every day for a few weeks. well the 3rd class the videotape had come to an end and the teacher is not in the room. it cuts to a blue screen after about a minute and a low voice says 'please insert tape 2' and i imitate the voice 'this is God speaking'.

my good friend started cracking up, but the rest of the class, nothing.

to this day i still think it was pretty funny

[kyro]

For some reason I have eviljeff's AIM and his profile quotes are always great. (Yes, I am a compulsive profile checker).

Most of these are really funny, just over the line. The ones that actually bomb because they're 1/4 as funny as you thought it would be are the great posts. i want more of those.

[adsman]

I was fairly young, around 18. I'm at a party with a bunch of mates and we're sitting around the living room. Everyones talking, there's music on. My mate next to me starts chatting up this cute girl. He's really working on her and it's making me want to vomit but she's lapping it up. Then the conversation goes something like this:

Her: I really like you. You know, you're really turning me on. (or something to this effect.)

Him: I can tell.

Her: How can you tell?

Him: What's that running down your leg?

Me: Blood?


Nobody was amused.

[kyro]

[ QUOTE ]
I was fairly young, around 18. I'm at a party with a bunch of mates and we're sitting around the living room. Everyones talking, there's music on. My mate next to me starts chatting up this cute girl. He's really working on her and it's making me want to vomit but she's lapping it up. Then the conversation goes something like this:

Her: I really like you. You know, you're really turning me on. (or something to this effect.)

Him: I can tell.

Her: How can you tell?

Him: What's that running down your leg?

Me: Blood?


Nobody was amused.

[/ QUOTE ]

This isn't even remotely funny. More of this.

[adsman]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I was fairly young, around 18. I'm at a party with a bunch of mates and we're sitting around the living room. Everyones talking, there's music on. My mate next to me starts chatting up this cute girl. He's really working on her and it's making me want to vomit but she's lapping it up. Then the conversation goes something like this:

Her: I really like you. You know, you're really turning me on. (or something to this effect.)

Him: I can tell.

Her: How can you tell?

Him: What's that running down your leg?

Me: Blood?


Nobody was amused.

[/ QUOTE ]

This isn't even remotely funny. More of this.

[/ QUOTE ]

I was rolling on the floor laughing after I said it. I can't believe I had friends back then.

[Kimbell175113]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I was fairly young, around 18. I'm at a party with a bunch of mates and we're sitting around the living room. Everyones talking, there's music on. My mate next to me starts chatting up this cute girl. He's really working on her and it's making me want to vomit but she's lapping it up. Then the conversation goes something like this:

Her: I really like you. You know, you're really turning me on. (or something to this effect.)

Him: I can tell.

Her: How can you tell?

Him: What's that running down your leg?

Me: Blood?


Nobody was amused.

[/ QUOTE ]

This isn't even remotely funny. More of this.

[/ QUOTE ]

I was rolling on the floor laughing after I said it. I can't believe I had friends back then.

[/ QUOTE ]
Well, it's funny, but not because it's a good joke. I agree that more of this kind of story is needed in the thread.

[THAY3R]

3rd grade, it's the first time I'm ever in Florida and I'm visiting this private school to shadow a kid for a day.(Note : I eventually go to this school)

2 kids in the class are taking an unusually long time in the bathroom, a girl in the class asks something like "What's taking them so long?"

I reply "Maybe they're mating?"

<silence>

Brag : 15 years later and some people in that class still remember that joke and now think it was hilarious [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[mused01]

[ QUOTE ]
I was fairly young, around 18. I'm at a party with a bunch of mates and we're sitting around the living room. Everyones talking, there's music on. My mate next to me starts chatting up this cute girl. He's really working on her and it's making me want to vomit but she's lapping it up. Then the conversation goes something like this:

Her: I really like you. You know, you're really turning me on. (or something to this effect.)

Him: I can tell.

Her: How can you tell?

Him: What's that running down your leg?

Me: Blood?


Nobody was amused.

[/ QUOTE ]

maybe i'll reconsider this whole meditating business...

[CrazyEyez]

At lunch today, discussing how I'm the only one who doesn't like Culvers burgers.

"You know why they call them 'butter burgers?' Because everything's good there but-her burgers."