Do you say something here?

[DrewDevil]

OP, you can talk to your friend about the relationship without even criticizing the heifer.

"Look, I have nothing against Miss Piggy. I like her just fine. This isn't personal against her. I'm concerned about YOU, because I don't think you're happy / ready for marriage / excited about marrying a whale / whatever. I want you to know that you don't have to do anything you don't want to." etc.

[Donkey-Milker]

you need to say something. but not just you... all of your friends - otherwise he may think it is just you and lash out at you..

here is part of why he is willing to stay with her - BECAUSE HE HAS ALWAYS HAD TROUBLE GETTING GIRLS. so he has one. he's not crazy about her... but he has no other options. it's easier to amble along with her rather than break up... so he does.

tell him this. tell him there are others out there. take him to the gym to lose weight and get a wardrobe change - w/e. the point is he can transform himself and find a girl who makes him happy.

better to tell him now than for him to realise the day before the wedding or after their 2nd child's 7th birthday..

gl

[schaef]

Jesus [censored] Christ, if he's your good friend you won't let this happen. But obviously you have to be careful how you approach the subject. Try to ask good questions and make him "realize" things on his own.

[Low Key]

I notice not one of the people who've responded think there's a chance he could be downplaying the whole moving in and getting married as the next logical step because he's around his guy friends.

Here's the thing you have to keep in mind in regards to other people's relationships. You have no idea what they're like behind closed doors.

While you've said you're okay with her, you also speak very negatively of her many attributes that really have no bearing on the situation at hand. She has OCD, she's gained weight, she's not popular. How much more shallow can you get? Honestly, what's the point in pointing that out?

There's nothing wrong with asking him, the next time he says "well.. seems like the next logical step" if he's happy with that. Just say, "Hey, you always answer like that, what's up with that?" This has you coming off as concerned and interested, instead of accusatory and.. jerkish. (Like if you came out and said, 'you don't seem happy with her')

If you feel you must interject, choose your words very carefully, and even then, use them only to find out what's going on in his head. And for the love of god, don't use the phrase "Do you really think/feel..", because I bet he'll figure out that what you really mean is "I really think/feel".

[MyBrothersKeeper]

*** The Don ***

[ QUOTE ]
As an added kick in the balls, she refuses to have sex with him!

Because his prospects are slim he's gotta cut this off before he gets in way too deep.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP. And about that fix, successful PUA's, let a brother know about what this does for a man and how it inevitably carries over to all of his life.

Marriage = sex, lol... how long you been married? Veterans, school this boy.


*** TripleH68 ***

[ QUOTE ]
I wish someone would have talked to me.

And pressed me on it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't let your "friend" be this guy, and there are more out there, you know it!

*** gamblore99 ***

By when is OOT going to see a TR?

[ArcticKnight]

[ QUOTE ]
One of my best friends has been dating a girl for over 2 years now. He is 22, she is 23. Its his first relationship. The guy is not the best looking and has trouble getting girls. The girl used to be acceptable, about a 6, but has gained like 50 pounds while they have been dating. She also has no friends, a family that is terrible, and OCD. She also wants to move in with him, and get married soon.

Whenever his relationship comes up, and we ask him whats up, will they get married or move in, he says "well its the next logical step..." and sounds very defeated. It seems like he is not really happy with the relationship.

Me, and his other close friends all think this relationship should not be moving forward anytime soon, but we're not sure if its our place to say anything. Should we just continue to keep our mouths shut, while our friend continues down this very depressing road?

[/ QUOTE ]

I really suprised by some of the responses. Seriously. This isn't a STFU or MYOB issue, or a "you need to sit down and have a talk with him issue" either. It simply is no issue at all from wht you described.

Let's look at the the situation.

1. He's not 14, he's 22.
2. He's been dating her for two 2 years. He doesn't have a gun to his head - he can stop dating her anytime.
3. You think she's too fat - we'll...NEWS FLASH ...he's seen her naked, and is still dating her.
4. He's fully aware of her family, friend situation, and OCD

Are you aware the she is cheating on him, stealing from him, etc? It doesn't sound like it. What it sounds like is that you think he can do better. Problem is that's not your call.

I know lots of guys that act like they are "whipped, down, not too excited about the old--lady" etc, but sometimes this can just be an act or reaction a guy gives off to his friends. You think he acting like "I know she is not the greatest," but keep in mind what he may really be saying is "I know you guys think she's not the greatest, but....."
Maybe he really likes her but feels the need to downplay it.

Sorry for the rant, but it sounds to me that you are trying to save him from a girl "you" wouldn't get shacked up with, but I think you have to let him be man and make his own decisions.

Unless you clearly know something he doesn't, I'm not sure what would cause you too want to intervene.

[girgy44]

[ QUOTE ]
1 on 1, not piss-drunk, start up a conversation. Don't do it with buddies around. Get his thoughts, and don't try to convince him to do anything. That's what a good friend would do.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Low Key]

[ QUOTE ]
I know lots of guys that act like they are "whipped, down, not too excited about the old--lady" etc, but sometimes this can just be an act or reaction a guy gives off to his friends. You think he acting like "I know she is not the greatest," but keep in mind what he may really be saying is "I know you guys think she's not the greatest, but....."
Maybe he really likes her but feels the need to downplay it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Somehow, this sounds familiar..

[ QUOTE ]
I notice not one of the people who've responded think there's a chance he could be downplaying the whole moving in and getting married as the next logical step because he's around his guy friends.

[/ QUOTE ]

Glad to see someone agrees with me.

[centaurmyth]

[ QUOTE ]
I notice not one of the people who've responded think there's a chance he could be downplaying the whole moving in and getting married as the next logical step because he's around his guy friends.

[/ QUOTE ]

Glad to see someone agrees with me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why is this important?

[Low Key]

That someone agrees with me? Because it makes me glad. And my gladness levels are obviously important.