very little drive, zero focus

[galahad_187]

hey everyone

my new wife and i are about 15k in credit card debt i can't focus on anything. a year ago when i was on an ADD medication, and off the booze, i had excellent focus, and not surprisingly made more money those 3 months that i was medicated/sober than the rest of the time i've played poker (about an extra year and 2 months). i went off the meds for a year to make my insurance premiums cheaper (it worked, from a 750/mo quote which i denied to 176/mo which i happily accepted). i quit drinking 3 days ago, about a month before that i had cut way back, so it'll be pretty easy to not drink, as long as i'm not around it.

my wife and i were spending way to much cash before our wedding/purchasing a new home, but after this busy week we're sticking to sams club sized bags of pasta and ramen noodles until i can hopefully reattain my ballah status via staying sober, meditating, and being medicated. no clue why i'm posting this acually. i think being trapped in a room all day either playing xbox or playing poker never talking to anything has screwed with my head. sort of a cabin fever maybe. i want to get a part time job but hate the idea of working for minimum wage, and i have no marketable skills aside from being able to multiply the number of outs i have by either 4 or 2. i'm bordering on going crazy. i also fear that all my nights (and some mornings) of heavy drinking has left me to some degree brain damaged, i'm sure all the pot i smoked didn't help either.

i guess i'm just posting because i don't have a myspace and hate online journals anyway

[pologuy64]

Take a deeper look at things. Money is not everything. def. cool and fun to have but if you look hard enough, you can find happiness in other places. It seems like you hae a good wife. Enjoy her. dont let poker/money stress you out. Def stop the booze and whatever else brings you down. Nothing wrong getting a part time job. Do what ytou got to do. to sum this up, Find happiness in other places like your wife etc etc. Life is to cool to waste stressing due to money. If you can make poker work, go ahead and do it, but stop playing if it might be one of the things that brings you down. Just like the boooze.

[galahad_187]

thanks for the advice, i've definatly kicked the booze, i'm going to go 2 months with zero to drink, and only socially from there. if it turns out i can't just do it socially then i'll just stop completely. poker only brings me down when i'm doing badly due to not focusing. The 3 months i mentioned before that iwas a true poker player i was extremely happy in most parts of my life. but without paying attention i just stare at a screen clicking a mouse i feel almost like a slot machine degenerate.

[Lucere]

I'm an alcohol researcher, and I can say, unless you ingested alcohol at toxic rates (almost enough to send you to the hospital) on a regular basis (almost every day), you don't have to worry about permanent brain damage. You also don't have to worry about that from pot, unless you smoke heavy amounts on a daily basis. Your body (including your brain) has an amazing way of cleaning and regenerating itself (yes, some brain cells do actually regenerate, contrary to popular belief). Also, because of how neurotransmitters work in your brain, it is very important that you don't drink while on medication like you're taking (not even socially), because the two together could make things worse than no medication or alcohol alone.

I recommend reading, or other mental tasks that your brain can focus on, other than video games and online poker. Maybe try to focus just on live poker for a while as it will force you to slow down a bit.

Aside from that, get some exercise, eat as healthily as you can on your budget, and just be happy that you have a loving wife who is in this with you.

[PantsOnFire]

It sounds like money is an issue with you. If you play poker expecting to win, or even worse, needing to win, then I would stop immediately. You are much better off spending that time at a job making $10/hour than stressing trying beat donks at poker. And even though that thought doesn't appeal to you, I would think that getting out of the house would be the tonic you need. And really, you can find a job that involves interacting with other people (bartender, grocery clerk, etc) and that's another good tonic.

And I honestly don't believe that many people can play good poker if they are thinking about the money they could be (or are) losing.

I'm no psychologist but you don't sound like a good candidate to be playing poker at this time.

[nineinchal]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm an alcohol researcher, and I can say, unless you ingested alcohol at toxic rates (almost enough to send you to the hospital) on a regular basis (almost every day), you don't have to worry about permanent brain damage. You also don't have to worry about that from pot, unless you smoke heavy amounts on a daily basis. Your body (including your brain) has an amazing way of cleaning and regenerating itself (yes, some brain cells do actually regenerate, contrary to popular belief). Also, because of how neurotransmitters work in your brain, it is very important that you don't drink while on medication like you're taking (not even socially), because the two together could make things worse than no medication or alcohol alone.

I recommend reading, or other mental tasks that your brain can focus on, other than video games and online poker. Maybe try to focus just on live poker for a while as it will force you to slow down a bit.

Aside from that, get some exercise, eat as healthily as you can on your budget, and just be happy that you have a loving wife who is in this with you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Marijuana smoking + alcohol abuse = Fried Brains

[Lucere]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm an alcohol researcher, and I can say, unless you ingested alcohol at toxic rates (almost enough to send you to the hospital) on a regular basis (almost every day), you don't have to worry about permanent brain damage. You also don't have to worry about that from pot, unless you smoke heavy amounts on a daily basis. Your body (including your brain) has an amazing way of cleaning and regenerating itself (yes, some brain cells do actually regenerate, contrary to popular belief). Also, because of how neurotransmitters work in your brain, it is very important that you don't drink while on medication like you're taking (not even socially), because the two together could make things worse than no medication or alcohol alone.

I recommend reading, or other mental tasks that your brain can focus on, other than video games and online poker. Maybe try to focus just on live poker for a while as it will force you to slow down a bit.

Aside from that, get some exercise, eat as healthily as you can on your budget, and just be happy that you have a loving wife who is in this with you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Marijuana smoking + alcohol abuse = Fried Brains

[/ QUOTE ]

Absolute statements like this are ignorant. I was addressing the OP's concern of permanent damage, and, as I stated, it's very unlikely his prior behavior caused any permanent damage.

Inhaling toxic amounts of smoke from a building fire will damage your lungs as well, but the damage is likely not permanent as the human body cleans and repairs itself over time.

[galahad_187]

thanks alot for your replies. hearing that my brain can clense and regenerate itself is awesome. i had heard that all damage was 100% permenant. i supposed that is primarily a scare tactic. I did drink pretty heavily for a few months, but i never vomited, but i / never/ vomit, only once in over 10 years, and i only completely blacked out twice. i was also reading an AA forum yesterday and someone was talking about clarity returning to them after about a month of being sober, which made me feel good also.

The last time i went sober i acually did it because i went on concerta and didn't want to mix the two, so it won't be a problem this time either, although last time i wasn't yet addicted. I'm so lucky my wife put up with me those few months before our wedding. i (and she) are extremely relieved i snapped out of it about a month before the wedding. It was the last night i smoked the weed that i realized how bad things had gotten, and how little i had been doing, ect. I'm not sure if it was just a stoner's epiphany or God jerking by the scruff of my neck, but i'm glad it happened.

I've always been a big advocate of exercise. i quit for about 4 months when i was drinking heavily, but other than that i've been lifting weights very consistantly over the last 3 years. next week i plan on starting some cardio as well. However thanks for mentioning it, as exercise should be recommended to anyone with stress, hell, anyone who doesn't should hear it regularly.

i just started reading professional no limit holdem, and after that i'll be reading your worst poker enemy. i'll be devoting alot of energy to that. After that i'll be rereading the millionare next door and rich dad poor dad which should definatly help. Also i'll be calling a friend of mine for a potenial job hookup soon. i started meditating again yesterday. it was a hell of alot harder than i remember, but i've been jittery and figity for months, it'll calm down.

thanks again for your reasurring words lecere, and everyone's advice, thank you.

[BrookTrout]

Start working at a job outside of your house - working for near minimum wage is worth it if it gets you out of your current routine. Having a secondary source of income is worthwhile too - even if the small amount you make from this part time job simply goes into a savings account.