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#71
08-30-2007, 12:06 AM
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Re: Infidelity
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] OP, I get the impression that you are rationalizing, almost defending, your wife's adultery. As though infidelity were some kind of indiscriminate affliction which was unfortunately contracted by your vulnerable wife who had no control over the events that transpired. What a load of BS. Infidelity is a conscious choice. [/ QUOTE ] 100% agree it is a conscious choice. But the illusion of thinking that her feelings with her boss and her own rationalizations for having the affair are from a chemically altered brain. Kind of like how someone who is addicted to slot machines truly believe that they will win all their money back on their next spin. These same people who are not addicted to slots knows it's a losing proposition but once addicted, they believe they can win. [/ QUOTE ] Wow. /thread please 
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#72
08-30-2007, 12:06 AM
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Re: Infidelity
Yeah, let's play the blame game. "It’s not my fault, it's the chemicals, the endorphins, the whatever." Where does accountability, self-discipline, and self-respect enter the equation?
Geez, doesn't anyone know how to practice self-control anymore??
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#73
08-30-2007, 12:08 AM
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Re: Infidelity
i kind of agree with the OP. If she only cared about the physical sex, she would have chosen some horny college kid, not her boss tens years older than her (unless he is one of those very good looking old guys). I am not buying into the whole chemical addiction thing, but a chick who starts getting it on with her boss probably has some psychological issues and probably needs to see a therapist.
Does her boss resemble her father by any chance? An older version of you?
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#74
08-30-2007, 12:10 AM
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Re: Infidelity
It also sounds like OP is sitting around waiting for her 'to see the light' and return home and is now trying to convince himself that she was disturbed and made these decisions at least partly unconsciously.
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#75
08-30-2007, 12:11 AM
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Re: Infidelity
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] Treating infidelity like an addiction but prosecuting it like a crime is insane. [/ QUOTE ] I don't know that it is "insane". Debateable but not insane. [/ QUOTE ] No. It is insane. I'm sorry to hear about your situation, but you seem to really be grasping at straws here. As others have stated, this path you are taking here doesn't seem like a healthy one. Good luck, man.
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#76
08-30-2007, 12:14 AM
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Re: Infidelity
He looks nothing like me. I am asian,look 10 yrs younger than I really am and he is white and thinning up top and wrinkly. That is why I believe it is a psychoilogical issue just like addictions are.
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#77
08-30-2007, 12:15 AM
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Re: Infidelity
emotional infidelity and infidelity actual are separate.
it seems as if you're trying to connect some variant of nymphomania (compulsive behavior) to an act (or acts) of infidelity. not everyone becomes addicted to slots, just as not everyone becomes addicted to heroin or speeding or sex. is she a nympho, or does she simply not love you anymore? if she didn't love you when she performed infidelity actual, how is that an act of emotional infidelity? it's easy to simply regard women who hurt us as whores and to explain away their behavior as a result of them being whores.
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#79
08-30-2007, 12:18 AM
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Re: Infidelity
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Treating infidelity like an addiction but prosecuting it like a crime is insane. [/ QUOTE ] I don't know that it is "insane". Debateable but not insane. [/ QUOTE ] No. It is insane. I'm sorry to hear about your situation, but you seem to really be grasping at straws here. As others have stated, this path you are taking here doesn't seem like a healthy one. Good luck, man. [/ QUOTE ] why is it that when something is not what you thought it was, people become so close minded. Look, I didn;t make this addiction stuff up, it's not my theory. I read it in numerous sources and my own therapist told me herself.
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#80
08-30-2007, 12:19 AM
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Re: Infidelity
Tweety,
Are you married? If you are, my personal experience causes me to be surprised by your view and apparent lack of understanding of the relationship between spouses, how this relationship can change over time and circumstance, and how such changes could lead one to infidelity. If you're not, then you don't know what the [censored] you're talking about.
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