2+2 lame thread of the day

WichitaDM · #1 08-28-2007, 12:53 PM

I guess i am looking for some advice on females although this situation is really not that complicated and im probably making it out to be bigger than it is.

Basically about 8 years ago i started dating this girl. I really liked her for a lot of reasons but she was uptight about drinking, smoking pot, gambling etc. So basically for the first year of the relationship i just did all of these things without telling her, she never found out. Towards the end of year 1 i cheated on her with two different girls. About this time she started to suspect something was up, eventually i broke down and told her everything. Of course she broke up with me.

How i handled it was quitting doing all of those things. For two years i walked the straight and narrow even went to church with her etc, because i did really love this girl and wanted things to work out, eventually we got back together. Then about 3 1/2 years in she broke up with me. The next year was spent getting back together and breaking up, on her terms except for once. The thing was she had turned 21, had met a new group of friends and started going out to the bars 3-4 nights a week. Of course i felt betrayed because i felt i had sacrificed a lot to give up drinking etc and [censored] just hit the fan. Relationship over.

For the next year i spent most of my time drinking, smoking pot and banging about any girl i could get my hands on. Towards the end of this time i met a nice girl that i started dating seriously and i am still dating her to this day. We have been dating for three years plus now.

I will say it took me a while to get over my ex, and it led to a lot of soul searching because i realized i was living my life for someone other than myself, and that backfired on me. But eventually i got over it for the most part. We talked every once in a while, about 50/50 on initiating it. A year ago i sent her a text basically asking her what she was up to these days, and i get one back basically telling me not to contact her anymore, she has met someone. Well ok , i have no problems with that.

A year passes and last week she tries to add me on facebook. While this isnt a big deal at all, i simply hit ignore, having her brought back up in my mind has brought on very strong and vivid dreams of us getting back together and the activities that would normally ensue with that. The impact has been very strange to me. It has made me tempted to call her, even though i know its a bad idea.

So basically the reason for this post is to ask OOT, Do you every get over someone you loved? I thought i was over her and it has been 4 years, but the impact this has had on me is kinda apalling to myself honestly. Is there any reason to continue to torture myself "keeping in touch" with this person? Sorry if this post is too long or too boring, i appreciate any advice people have had in similar situations.

DeuceKicker · #2 08-28-2007, 12:57 PM

Yes, you will get over her.

No, do not have any contact with her. None.

kipin · #3 08-28-2007, 12:57 PM

"Love is fleeting" exists for a reason you creeper.

diamonddawg · #4 08-28-2007, 01:08 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Yes, you will get over her.

No, do not have any contact with her. None.

[/ QUOTE ]

IME, if you stay in touch with her you will just keep repeating this cycle of hooking up/ breaking up. And every time you are doing that with her, you are taking time away from the possibility of meeting Miss Right.

Alobar · #5 08-28-2007, 01:09 PM

Every guy has that one girl who is complete kryptonite to their life, and they have to avoid having any contact with them at all cost. Doesnt matter if you havent seen her in 5 years, you are blissfully happy with your current life and woman, you run into her unexpectedly and you spend the next week thinking about her and trying to get her out of your mind, and it makes everything you have now seem not as good.

You have identified yours, the thing to do now is to AVOID HER AT ALL COSTS. No contact, no emails, no catching up, no anything. Block her from your mind, and pretend the great abyss swallowed her whole.

WichitaDM · #6 08-28-2007, 01:23 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Every guy has that one girl who is complete kryptonite to their life, and they have to avoid having any contact with them at all cost. Doesnt matter if you havent seen her in 5 years, you are blissfully happy with your current life and woman, you run into her unexpectedly and you spend the next week thinking about her and trying to get her out of your mind, and it makes everything you have now seem not as good.

You have identified yours, the thing to do now is to AVOID HER AT ALL COSTS. No contact, no emails, no catching up, no anything. Block her from your mind, and pretend the great abyss swallowed her whole.

[/ QUOTE ]

This really resonates as truth, thanks Alobar. I guess it just makes me have a plethora of horrible feelings whenever this stuff comes up. Most of them are just frustration with myself for still being hung up on her after this many years. I pretty much have used your strategy with decent success over the last few years.

J.A.K. · #7 08-28-2007, 01:27 PM

Love is no match for a new group of friends and legal drinking age. Don't read into the facebook thing too much. Girls like people to know they are popular with lots of guys.

Lottery Larry · #8 08-28-2007, 01:40 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Every guy has that one girl who is complete kryptonite to their life, and they have to avoid having any contact with them at all cost.

[/ QUOTE ]

damn, I'm boring- I don't have me one of them.

Fast Food Knight · #9 08-28-2007, 01:45 PM

I'm wondering if you just haven't met the right chick yet to make you get over this girl once and for all. I know that I personally had, as I call it, a "unicorn" or guy that was always in the back of my mind for years regardless of who I was dating. 'Chair had the same with his ex from high school. Then we got together, and I know at least for me, I was finally able to put my unicorn to rest. It was an extreme relief and felt very peaceful. All of this is just speculation, though, and no one can figure all of this out except you.

guids · #10 08-28-2007, 01:52 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Every guy has that one girl who is complete kryptonite to their life, and they have to avoid having any contact with them at all cost. Doesnt matter if you havent seen her in 5 years, you are blissfully happy with your current life and woman, you run into her unexpectedly and you spend the next week thinking about her and trying to get her out of your mind, and it makes everything you have now seem not as good.

You have identified yours, the thing to do now is to AVOID HER AT ALL COSTS. No contact, no emails, no catching up, no anything. Block her from your mind, and pretend the great abyss swallowed her whole.

[/ QUOTE ]

bingo.

and next time, it is your job to corrupt the young lady, dont let her friends do it.