SERIOUS TOPIC: Friend dying, son wants to send wife to mental

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Why would a mental hospital even accept someone with dementia it's not the correct care facility for them...she would go into a nursing home or get an in house carer. Let me guess you don't even know the real story.

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I sort of assumed that OP meant nursing home. Otherwise, the story makes no sense. If the woman is actually functioning, she can't be sent to a mental institution and would, at any rate, be able to make her own medical decisions (wherever she is). The power of attorney documents regarding medical decisions that I am familiar with only transfer power in the event of incapacitation. Power of attorney regarding finances is different, of course.

Also, these sort of decisions frequently are very stressful for the family. Since there's a good chance that the son is actually doing the right thing here (sending his mother with Alzheimer's disease to a nursing home after her husband dies) the OP might consider staying out of it, since his understanding of the woman's medical situation and the son's future plans seem incomplete, at best.

Here's what doesn't make sense:

If this woman is functioning, she should be aware that her husband is dying and she needs to plan to take care of herself soon. If she doesn't understand this (if she doesn't even realize that he is dead after he passes away) she probably shouldn't be living alone, anyway.

One can't be committed against one's will to a mental institution unless one is a threat to oneself or others. Most likely this woman will end up in an assisted living or nursing home, depending on how well she can take care of herself.

The husband presumably cares about what happens to his wife after he passes away. If he is leaving all of the money to his son, it is probably because he knows that his wife is going to a nursing home after he dies. Nursing homes are absurdly expensive, and basically all of your assets are depleted before you go on federal assistance. This happens to pretty much everyone, so it doesn't make sense to leave her any money, unless she plans on living on her own.

What reason do you have to suspect 'foul play'? My guess is the son hasn't discussed his plans with you because you're not really someone he needs to justify himself to. Probably the people this affects directly are doing the right thing here, and you don't appreciate that.

Cliff notes: Either this woman can look out for her own interests (in which case, what are you doing meddling) or she can't (in which case she probably belongs in a nursing home, which is where she will likely end up). Sane people do not end up in a 'nuthouse' just because they are old.