My PUA Experience tl;dr

[unknown_one]

I am writing this mostly to see how logical/accurate most of the conclusions I have made regarding the art of attraction are. As such, I'm not an expert in the field nor do I really desire to be one, but to a large degree the art of attraction is the same in spite of your goals. The following is more or less my experience over the last 6 months, and a reflection on what I've learned.

The Beginning-- I'm a "nice guy." Hell, a lot of us are. Although probably one of the forbidden words in OOT,
I actually like being in a relationship. As a result, until this point in my life, I had had some, but somewhat limited success with women. A girlfriend here and there, but probably not living up to my potential.

And then I got shot down for the first time. I knew it would come and some point in my life, and always imagined it would sting much worse. What it did though, was kill my confidence and thus my success. For a time, even though I was getting out and meeting tons of new girls, I kept getting the "friend" vibe. At the time, I was baffled.

And then my confidence returned. Somehow or another, I forgave myself for getting shot down, and was legitimately ready to try again. For some reason, I actually started believing in my ability to get a girl, and it started working immediately.

A few weeks later, I was literally stuck between 3 girls that I knew liked me. This definitely was not normal for someone who is a nice guy and is very accustomed to the friend zone by this point in his life. Eventually, I made my pick of the 3 and we've been together ever since and I couldn't be happier.

So I started thinking, what the hell happened? Nothing about what I thought attracted women had changed. I was still 5'9 175lbs (10% BF though), I was still an alright athlete, I still played guitar but wasn't amazing or anything, my sense of humor hadn't changed, etc. We're told that women like amazing athletes, rich people, smart guys, funny guys, successful businessmen, etc. but obviously there are plenty of terrible athletes that get women, plenty of poor people that get women, plenty of morons that get women, plenty of [censored], and the list continues. How could this be?

To me, the unifying denominator was confidence. Great athletes are confident because there success in sports manifests itself in the way they act around people.
Same thing applies to successful businessmen-- the success they have in the board room leads them to be confident in the bar as well (aside from the fact that women are gold diggers). Guys with a good sense of humor are usually well liked by other guys, so its natural that they would be confident around women as well.

But guys are told every day that women like confidence, this is definitely not something new. Yet, I think I greatly misunderstood it before my experience. I seemed to think of confidence as a quality or something that you could set your mind to and work toward. Rather, I now believe that it is merely a state of mind. I'm not sure how I achieved this attitude, or how to get others to do it, but I am 100% certain this is what turned things around for me.

And throughout, I realized "nice guys" aren't screwed after all. They just tend to lack confidence in social situations, because most of the guys I know that are like this are introverts. However, if they can build their confidence and thus overcome their fears and apprehensive tendencies, there's no reason they can't be very successful with women. So I guess I'm defending all this PUA stuff. To me at least, this stuff seems to just be a guide on how to be a more confident, and thus more attractive form of yourself.

How insane am I?

[Shadowrun]

where is the experience in this?

[unknown_one]

[ QUOTE ]
where is the experience in this?

[/ QUOTE ]

the first half.

[guids]

here is me sounding like an [censored]:


you arent a "pick up artist", you got rejected one time, and then fell into a relationship on the rebound, 99% of guys could do this, and really this is how most people end up getting married, hence why the divorce rate is so high. This is pretty typical for your average guy, sometimes it happens when you are 19, sometimes it happens much later, this is standard for how people hookup, and good with chicks, it makes you not necessarily.

[siccjay]

I don't think he means he is a "PUA."

[guids]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't think he means he is a "PUA."

[/ QUOTE ]

well, either way his OP has very little to do about picking up chicks, you def dont have to have real confidence get a girl home with you.

[CheckCheckFold]

Wow confidence. NO DUH.

[tuq]

[ ] Rickroll
[x] Diamondbacks win another series
[ ] poletard
[x] chick thread, guids
[ ] "teh"
[ ] PUA
[ ] petifiles
[ ] MicroBob
[x] hotter than sh*t today
[x] [ ]
[x] [x]

[JuntMonkey]

[ QUOTE ]
[ ] Rickroll
[x] Diamondbacks win another series
[ ] poletard
[x] chick thread, guids
[ ] "teh"
[ ] PUA
[ ] petifiles
[ ] MicroBob
[x] hotter than sh*t today
[x] [ ]
[x] [x]

[/ QUOTE ]

I lol'ed at Diamondbacks, "teh", PUA, and the last two.

On third reading I lol'ed at chick thread, guids.

[The Yugoslavian]

Dude, this is not a "PUA experience"....don't even try to use jargon if you are completely unfamiliar with the community, it all sounds retarded enough as it is, lol.

Do you have questions? Or is the main thrust of your post simply "confidence is awesome, if there was a way to obtain more of that through systematic study and practice, it must be a good thing"?

B/c, yeah, that's what the community's goal is. To help guys get that confidence and experience...

Also, I really think ppl should get out of the "stop being nice guy, be a jerk" mindset. This is a non-community thought process honestly and the only reason it's talked about is b/c one still has to communicate with ppl who possess a previous mental reality you used to have where this meant something.

It's not about being a jerk...or being nice. It's about simply being a cool, confident MAN.

All the "jerk" PUA stuff (except for *some* powerful hypnosis routines) are not mean, they're fun, flirty, and give women a challenge.

Yugoslav