|
|
#31
08-09-2007, 06:27 PM
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Tell OOT a random story
I was walking home from work yesterday and outside on the sidewalk was what looked like a bunch of trash spilled on the ground. Upon closer inspection, I noticed it was not trash, but groceries. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I saw some cash on the ground. A $20! I looked around further and saw another $5. Pretty sweet huh?
Well, I kept looking and I hit the motherlode...a motherf'ing $100 bill. Seriously. I found $125 laying on the ground last night. I looked around and there was not a single person anywhere to be found, so I kept it. I went out on a date later last night and I decided to tip really big to impress the chick. She seemed to like my generosity, but I didn't get laid. However, we have plans for Saturday where I should get laid if I don't screw it up. 
|
|
#32
08-09-2007, 06:35 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Tell OOT a random story
I'm not sure if this will sound as interesting as it was...but oh well. A little tl;dr
When I was 18 I moved to Montreal all by myself. This is where I first started playing poker. The major downfall of Montreal was that Holdem was illegal, so all of the games were run underground. All the good ones Downtown were controlled by the Mafia. Through a friend of a friend, I sat down at my first backroom game held in a Cigar Club. It was run by a guy named Alan. I became a regular there, and Alan ran a good game. He was a small skinny guy who kicked up to the local Mafioso, who would come in every now and then to check up on the game. One night when I was there, the mafioso decided to sit and play. Alan made a joke saying "um, are you sure you have enough money?". The mafioso guy got PISSED and started yelling in Italian. He was all up in Alan's face. Eventually he was held back by a few of his cronies and ushered out of the club to cool down. The next time I went to the game, I noticed that Alan was gone. They told me that he had been fired because of his disrespect. Ok cool, I don't really care. Note to self, don't joke about the big gangster's ballerness. About a week later, I got a call from Alan who told me he was starting his own Poker Game down the street. He asked me if I wanted to be a dealer for him. During the conversation, I asked him if it was smart to start his own game right down the street. He said it was fine, and he was being backed by new protection. I ended up declining the dealer offer, however I agreed to play partially staked on the opening night, just to help make sure there was action. So on opening night, I walk to his club. I sit down, start playing. Things are going pretty good, I was up about $200. About halfway through the night, there's a really hard KNOCK KNOCK on the front door. The doorguard peeks through the hole and then turns back to us looking scared. He says "Alan...it's the guys from the other game!". Alan just stands there frozen. It comes again...KNOCK KNOCK. He meekly walks over to the door...opens it and steps outside. After that, all we hear is super loud screams of DON'T YOU EVER F'ING DO THAT AGAIN, IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN I'LL KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE [censored] SUCKER. All the while we hear constant banging on the door, and we're all pretty scared like WTF IS GOING ON. Eventually, the yelling and banging stop and the door opens. Alan kinda stumbles in, his face bruised, bloody and beaten. One of his staff helps him stand up and rush him to the bathroom. Meanwhile 20 of us players are sitting there wondering if we're going to get shot or robbed or anally raped. We all quickly scrambled to cash out and sent one brave soul out the door to see if the coast was clear. About 20 minutes later, I had my money, left the building, and went home as quick as possible. I never saw Alan again after that...I heard he flew to spain per the Mafia's recommendation
|
|
#33
08-09-2007, 06:36 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Tell OOT a random story
[ QUOTE ]
My dad's side of the family is like 100% german. They are all like over 6'0 and have light brown or blonde hair. I have an uncle that is probably 5'6" and looks like a mexican. Apparently he was born 11 months after my g-pa was deployed during the Korean Conflict. They tell everyone he's brown cause he was born and raised in California. It's denial in its purest form. 25 years ago when my mom was married to my dad she worked at the phone company. One of her coworkers recognized her last name and asked if she was related. This girls family lived 3 houses down from my g-parents. She says when my g-pa was away during the war this Mexican guy used to come to their house all the time. cliffs notes: My g-ma on my dad's side is a hudge whore. [/ QUOTE ] meh if the denial kept the family together then it was probably a good thing. pretty amusing story tho. also, can it really even be denial if he was actually born 11 months after the dad left?
|
|
#34
08-09-2007, 06:39 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Tell OOT a random story
[ QUOTE ]
I was walking home from work yesterday and outside on the sidewalk was what looked like a bunch of trash spilled on the ground. Upon closer inspection, I noticed it was not trash, but groceries. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I saw some cash on the ground. A $20! I looked around further and saw another $5. Pretty sweet huh? Well, I kept looking and I hit the motherlode...a motherf'ing $100 bill. Seriously. I found $125 laying on the ground last night. I looked around and there was not a single person anywhere to be found, so I kept it. I went out on a date later last night and I decided to tip really big to impress the chick. She seemed to like my generosity, but I didn't get laid. However, we have plans for Saturday where I should get laid if I don't screw it up. [/ QUOTE ] wtf, how does someone leave groceries+cash on the ground? was there a dead body near by?
|
|
#35
08-09-2007, 06:43 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Tell OOT a random story
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] I was walking home from work yesterday and outside on the sidewalk was what looked like a bunch of trash spilled on the ground. Upon closer inspection, I noticed it was not trash, but groceries. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I saw some cash on the ground. A $20! I looked around further and saw another $5. Pretty sweet huh? Well, I kept looking and I hit the motherlode...a motherf'ing $100 bill. Seriously. I found $125 laying on the ground last night. I looked around and there was not a single person anywhere to be found, so I kept it. I went out on a date later last night and I decided to tip really big to impress the chick. She seemed to like my generosity, but I didn't get laid. However, we have plans for Saturday where I should get laid if I don't screw it up. [/ QUOTE ] wtf, how does someone leave groceries+cash on the ground? was there a dead body near by? [/ QUOTE ] Excluding murder/kidnapping, my only guess was someone running for a bus or something and dropped it (busstop 100 feet away). It was one bag of groceries that for some reason may have contained the cash. I actually never looked all the way into the bag. There could have been more cash there.
|
|
#36
08-09-2007, 06:49 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Tell OOT a random story
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] I was walking home from work yesterday and outside on the sidewalk was what looked like a bunch of trash spilled on the ground. Upon closer inspection, I noticed it was not trash, but groceries. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I saw some cash on the ground. A $20! I looked around further and saw another $5. Pretty sweet huh? Well, I kept looking and I hit the motherlode...a motherf'ing $100 bill. Seriously. I found $125 laying on the ground last night. I looked around and there was not a single person anywhere to be found, so I kept it. I went out on a date later last night and I decided to tip really big to impress the chick. She seemed to like my generosity, but I didn't get laid. However, we have plans for Saturday where I should get laid if I don't screw it up. [/ QUOTE ] wtf, how does someone leave groceries+cash on the ground? was there a dead body near by? [/ QUOTE ] my father in law came over for a visit one day and handed me an envolope, and asked me to count it. 460 dollars later i looked at him kinda puzzled. hes the type of guy that sees a piece of trash on the ground and picks it up and throws it away no matter where hes at. so he was walking to his truck and saw a piece of trash in a puddle and picked it up, and the enevople had 460 dollars in it. there was a recipt he showed me, and the only thing you could make out from the water damage was the date of withdraw. 35 days ago...lol...sitting on the grond for 35 days. He even gave me a 150 of it.
|
|
#37
08-09-2007, 08:00 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Tell OOT a random story
[ QUOTE ]
that is pretty weird. At a different angle it'd be a like a self money shot. [/ QUOTE ] Yeah... almost hit myself in the eye one time as a teen. Was gettin a hand job (I was laying on my back) shot a load right over my shoulder. Good thing she was "strokin to the left".
|
|
#38
08-09-2007, 08:30 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Tell OOT a random story
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] I was walking home from work yesterday and outside on the sidewalk was what looked like a bunch of trash spilled on the ground. Upon closer inspection, I noticed it was not trash, but groceries. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I saw some cash on the ground. A $20! I looked around further and saw another $5. Pretty sweet huh? Well, I kept looking and I hit the motherlode...a motherf'ing $100 bill. Seriously. I found $125 laying on the ground last night. I looked around and there was not a single person anywhere to be found, so I kept it. I went out on a date later last night and I decided to tip really big to impress the chick. She seemed to like my generosity, but I didn't get laid. However, we have plans for Saturday where I should get laid if I don't screw it up. [/ QUOTE ] wtf, how does someone leave groceries+cash on the ground? was there a dead body near by? [/ QUOTE ] Excluding murder/kidnapping, my only guess was someone running for a bus or something and dropped it (busstop 100 feet away). It was one bag of groceries that for some reason may have contained the cash. I actually never looked all the way into the bag. There could have been more cash there. [/ QUOTE ] forget the cash, check the grocery bag for koala yummies or dunkaroos!
|
|
#39
08-09-2007, 08:35 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Tell OOT a random story
Came home late one night with my gf after a night of heavy drinking. We go upstairs to bang. She was on her period, so we get out the lube for some anal (brag: gf who can orgasm from anal). I black out at some point, I wake up and see a pile of vomit on the floor next to the bed, and the evidence of anal sex caked all over my ding dong.
I wake up gf to piece together the events of the night. She tells me that I pulled out of her butt to finish in her mouth, she resisted, but I didn't stop. Poop in her mouth made her puke. I told her to go back to bed and that I'd clean up everything.
|
 |
|
|
Linear Mode
