How can we gently convince old guy with Alzheimer's to quit playing?

[Bats]

I’m not sure if this question belongs here or in Home Poker, but the issue is more psychological than about the game itself. I’m an aging Boomer (59 years old) and play in a home game with still older guys (62-75, several retired) who have been playing together for over thirty years. I was invited to join the game 4 years ago when one of the original members of the group became too ill to play. It’s a typical low stakes home game with stupid games like Anaconda, and mostly for drinking beer and yakking. I really enjoy playing with these guys, but one of them, call him Bill, is getting senile. Bill used to be a decent player, but over the last year has begun to constantly make mistakes, big and little. Little mistakes like often betting out of turn or forgetting it was his turn or not dealing enough cards aren’t a big problem, we just gently remind him. But the last few months he’s increasingly done things like misread the board in Hold-em or Omaha/8, raise and reraise thinking he’s got the nuts, only to be told he doesn’t. We all do this once in a while, but he’s doing it several times a night and getting angry when we point out his error. Bill sometimes forgets he’s folded, then gets upset when the miracle flop hits his now folded cards and we tell him he can’t play them. Frankly, Bill is making a formerly fun evening into a tense un-fun evening.

The guys who have been playing with Bill for 30 years know he’s become a problem, but don’t know how to un-invite him because he’s a very old friend. One guy called Bill’s wife to try to get her to tell him he’s too old to play, but that went over like a lead balloon. All she did was go on about how much he enjoys getting together with his old friends. I can’t un-invite him because I’m still the new guy. Does anyone have any good suggestions on how we can gently persuade him it’s time to put the cards away? (Please, no jokes about just shooting the old horse.)

[mindflayer]

If your there to drink and yak it up with old friends, drop the poker game and turn on the ol big screen tv and watch the youngns play.

If you still need to play, set up a different day from your regular day and don't invite wild Bill.

[Bats]

[ QUOTE ]
If your there to drink and yak it up with old friends, drop the poker game and turn on the ol big screen tv and watch the youngns play.

If you still need to play, set up a different day from your regular day and don't invite wild Bill.

[/ QUOTE ]

Those are good ideas - if I can get the other guys to get over 30 years of "poker night is Friday" and play on Saturday instead.

[warlock]

Or you could all get together without Bill and figure out a way to keep him in the game, if necessary by letting him win some of those hands that he'd folded on, etc. and sorting it out between everybody else at the end of the night.

Alzheimers is a horrible disease, and it's a mistake to think that the victims aren't equally aware of it (at least in the early stages) - let the poor man enjoy his poker as long as he can. After all, another 20 years or so, and it could be your turn...

[Bats]

[ QUOTE ]
Alzheimers is a horrible disease, and it's a mistake to think that the victims aren't equally aware of it (at least in the early stages) - let the poor man enjoy his poker as long as he can. After all, another 20 years or so, and it could be your turn...

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, I'm sure a lot of the anger he exhibits is due to frustration with himself. He knows he used to be good, and he knows he's not any more. The other guys closer to Bill's age (70) than I am are acutely aware they could be next, and watching this formerly good player go downhill so rapidly scares them a lot. When I first joined the group, if someone misread the board he'd be subject to a lot of good natured razzing. Now they won't razz each other because Bill misreads so often. It's become very much like the way many people don't know how to act around someone they know who is dying. They want to be nice, but they're very uncomfortable.

[imitation]

Can't not let him come just go with it, i'm guessing after 30yrs this is a very important social part of Bill's life. If you guys kick him out of this likely his mind will only get worse.

good luck Bill

[jfk]

This is a basic test of human decency you're facing. It sounds like Bill is an old friend to several of the (aging) regulars in the game.

To my mind, home games of this sort are primarily social. Anything and everything should be done to accommodate an old friend who has this sort of affliction.

At some point friendship, empathy and basic decency among friends needs to trump poker considerations.

[reup]

If one person is dying, it shouldn't make the whole table die. I don't mean to be mean, but that's how it is. You should go on having fun knowing that he's missing the boat, rather than come down to his level of consciousness. You can maybe help him keep up with the game by keeping him on his toes. If he doesn't respond ask him why he's getting so mad. If he can't answer say hey we're here to have fun and play poker why are you getting angry enjoy the game.
--how can he respond to that. either have fun or what are you doing here.

if he's incapable of recognizing what's actually going on around him talk to him softly i suppose. think about it from his perspective, things don't make sense like they used to ... i'm gonna play some poker god damn it, damnnit what the [censored] is wrong with my mind I used to be able to keep up, damn I don't have anything if I can't even play poker well, and of course, I can't let them see what I'm thinking.

Bottom line: have fun if he can't keep up there'll be a blowup or something and the game gets rocked, what of it.

[PLOlover]

just keep telling him he forgot to ante lol.

seriously theyve got some good drugs hydergine and stuff 2+2 favorite modinfil or whatever, plus he may just be vitamin deficient when you get old your guts sometimes stop working you gotta take b-12 sublingually for it to absorb, etc.

I say a trip to a good doc has a good chance of turning it around for him.

[solucky]

barbecus instead poker so he dont loose his friends