Tell me about Philly

[NA_kicker]

Ugh.

I make the dreaded 5pm drive to AC from the Art Museum area nearly every Friday.

The best way to get to down there first involves getting rip roaring stoned on 7-8 volcano bags. Fill up another balloon and roll a joint for the car ride. If you squeeze it in tight, you can fit a full balloon in your Jansport backpack. Next, enter your car, turn on the new 104.5 for music (similar, but not as great as Y100 used to be) or if you are into talk radio, give Kidd Chris on 94.1 a listen. Since you are incredibly stoned, feel free to sing to music and perhaps talk to Kidd Chris through the radio. I'm pretty sure he can hear you, but he's got a show to do, so he doesn't talk back.

Drive up to Girard and check your gas tank. Dang, its low, but you probably have enough to get to Jersey, where the gas is pumped for you and about 20 cents a gallon cheaper. Take 76E at Girard and prepare to enter 76 through an intense on-ramp (very short time to merge).

You'll average 40mph or so if you stay in the right lane, avoid the left lane initially as that lane merges to 676. In general, change lanes as frequently as possible. Sure you might only get ahead 1-2 cars, but that adds up after you change lanes 40 times.

Follow the signs and soon you'll be crawling over the Walt Whitman bridge. Your 40mph will be reduced to stop and go traffic on a large 50 year old bridge. This part f'ing sucks. At this point, I like to call my girlfriend who is usually in an art therapy session. Last week, I called her and told her about how awesome the Jay-Z remix of Rehab was. She got pretty pissed at me later that day for interupting her session, but come on, its an awesome song.

After the ole WW, the traffic will still be stop and go until 42 becomes the glorious Atlantic City Expressway. I like to take a pit stop and stop at that gas station by the WaWa and then to WaWa for supplies (ice tea, maybe cash (PNC ATM), and maybe some dinner). Don't forget to constantly change lanes and pass whenever you can.

There is a bridge exit on the left a few miles into Jersey. Its a dick move, but travel in that left exit lane for as long as you can before merging back. This really saves you time because the traffic around this area is usually pretty bad.

After you get on the ACE, it's pretty smooth sailing at speeds around 75mph in the left lane. On the ACE, only use the left lane for passing. Cops are usually speckled along the ACE, though I never had any problems.

The 1-way trip takes about 105 minutes with a 10 minute stop for gas and supplies. Its not bad and actually kinda fun in a way, merging through all the lanes. Last week, I saw some skanky girls (obviously headed to the shore), changing in the car. I think I saw tit pressed against the window, so that was nice.