Dumbest cashier ever? (TR kinda-sorta)

[superadvisor]

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Here's one about a stupid customer instead of a stupid cashier. My first job was at a supermarket. Some guy buys stuff and the total is $12.90. The guy hands me a twenty dollar bill and ten cents thinking that this amount will render only paper bills in change. I am confused but don't say anything because I was only 14 and somewhat shy. I ring it up, look at the register, and give him back $7.20 at which point he gets mad and starts bitching about my incompetence to do math.

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I have many years of being a cashier under my belt and ever gig, I became the #1 cashier pretty quickly because I'm not a moron, fast and can solve problems on my own.

This exact situation would happen to me at least once a day in any gig I worked at. I wouldn't say a word, I'd just give them the correct change back. Most would realize they were a moron right away. Others would stand there puzzled until I explained it out to them and others, like in your situation, would get pissed.

I always loved showing up the ones who would get pissed.

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I loved being a dick to people who were dicks to me, which I think might be the case in a lot of these "cashier horror stories". Anytime someone would give me money because they wanted higher bills, like $5.25 total and they give me $21, if they were a dick, I'd give them back 5 $1 bills instead of a $5 bill. I'd always get the "what a [censored] cashier" look, but I'd be the one with the last laugh. Some would bitch because I didn't give them a $5 bill and my answer would always be "I'm sorry, I don't have enough to give out. If you want change, you can go to the customer service desk and they will do it for you."

God I loved [censored] with people in those days.

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thats pretty pathetic. I wouldnt share that with too many people.

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It's understandable to me, cashiers don't work off tips these cheap shots are the only joy one can get from such a menial job.

[youtalkfunny]

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I loved being a dick to people who were dicks to me...
Some would bitch because I didn't give them a $5 bill and my answer would always be "I'm sorry, I don't have enough to give out. If you want change, you can go to the customer service desk and they will do it for you."

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If you ever said that to me, I'd be all over you.

ME: Can I get a $5?

YOU: Sorry, I don't have enough to give out.

ME: What does that mean?

YOU: Sorry?

ME: You don't have "enough"? That means you have "some", right? At least one? If so, why are you saving it? For when a customer needs a $5 bill, right? Isn't that time NOW?

[IggyWH]

I almost forgot about one of my fav cashier stories to tell.

I don't know how many of you know about this, but there is a trick that con's play on cashiers. They're buy something, pay for it, and while the till is open, start asking for change. They ask for change several times and throw a bunch of money around, and the object is to confuse the cashier and walk away usually up $20. These guys will usually stand back and watch cashiers to find their mark. They look for people who look like they're not paying attention. For some reason, a con picked me once as his mark.

He stood by the register acting like he was reading a magazine but he kept watching me. I noticed him because I was like "WTF is this weirdo doing". He wanted to buy ice cream but kept letting people go ahead of him. Finally, when no one else was around, he was ready.

I ring up his ice cream, he pays me with a $10 bill, I open up the till and here comes the change game. He kept throwing money around, different piles needed change, he'd put some money away and pull out more money, etc. He was pulling out all the stops. I should have never gotten into it in the first place, but once it started, I knew what he was doing so I just followed along.

Obviously, this guy wasn't as smart as he thought he was, because in the end, everything was even. So for [censored] and giggles and for him trying to con me, I was like eff this, I'm going to con him. I told him I was still $20 short and after a small discussion, he gave up the $20.

I'm not sure if he thought he was up more than $20, which is why he gave it up or he figured I paid attention and knew I was short $20 and he had that $20 or what. However, I knew we were even before and this extra $20 I took was making him -$20.

He came back later realizing that I took an extra $20 from him. He complained to my manager, my manager pulled my till and counted it. Sure enough like I knew, my till was +$20. My manager gave him the $20 and went and watched the video. Afterwards, he said we needed to "talk".

So I go into his office and he has the video. First he yells at me for getting into the change game and then he says I was so lucky that the guy didn't end up taking money from me. So he goes into this 5 minute blah blah blah speech. He seems pretty pissed that his go to cashier would get scammed. So then he starts talking about writing me up and asks if I have anything to say. So I tell him I knew exactly what was going on and purposely took an extra $20 from the guy to eff him since he tried effing me. My manager started laughing, told me good job and said we'll just act like that never happened then.

[IggyWH]

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I loved being a dick to people who were dicks to me...
Some would bitch because I didn't give them a $5 bill and my answer would always be "I'm sorry, I don't have enough to give out. If you want change, you can go to the customer service desk and they will do it for you."

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If you ever said that to me, I'd be all over you.

ME: Can I get a $5?

YOU: Sorry, I don't have enough to give out.

ME: What does that mean?

YOU: Sorry?

ME: You don't have "enough"? That means you have "some", right? At least one? If so, why are you saving it? For when a customer needs a $5 bill, right? Isn't that time NOW?

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Any manager will back you up on this. We are not a bank and you are always told to never give change. Most cashiers do it as a courtesy or because they don't know any better.

You could get over me all you want. You're just wasting energy and I have the last laugh.

[IggyWH]

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thats pretty pathetic. I wouldnt share that with too many people.

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What's pretty pathetic is when dealing with the general public, most just write you off as a moron and feel like they can treat you any way they please.

I can't tell you off when you're a dick to me, even though most deserve it, so I [censored] with you in ways I can. There is absolutely no reason to ever be a dick to someone in a job like a cashier, unless the cashier is the one being a dick.

[swingdoc]

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Go in to KFC

Buy $25 worth of free french fries

Spill them all over the floor on your way out

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They're called potato wedges noob.

[BCPVP]

Why didn't you pocket the $20?

[Hopey]

Iggy's stories remind me of this gem:

I worked as a cashier in a grocery store for a couple of years when I was a teenager. Our store didn't have bar-code scanners, so the prices were punched in manually by the cashiers. I became so quick at punching in orders, that I'm pretty sure that I could have rung through an order manually more quickly than a cashier could do it with a bar-code scanner. I had also memorized the prices for most of the common items, which saved me time in not having to look for price tags on most items.

ANYWAY...one day I'm standing at my cash and this woman and her meat-head husband come walking up to my station. They had 5 or 6 items in their cart, and all were common items that I knew the prices of. I punched in their entire order before they even got it out of the cart.

By the time they had finished emptying the items from their cart, I had already bagged up half of it for them. Suddenly, the meat-head husband looks at me angrily and snarled:

Meat-head: "What are you DOING?!"
Me: "I'm bagging up your order, sir"
Meat-head: "WHAT? You've alread rung it in?!?"
Me: "Yes, I'm pretty quick. That'll be (whatever the price was) sir."
Meat-head: "Jesus [censored] Christ! Ring it in again! I want to make sure you didn't make a mistake!"
Me: "I'm sure I didn't make a mistake. We can go over the receipt item by item if you want."
Meat-head: "No. I want you to ring it in again. This time more slowly."
Me: "Okay, hold on. I have to call the manager over for any cancellations over $10."
Meat-Head: "Fine. You do that."

I call the manager on the intercom and sit there waiting uncomfortably with the meat-head and his embarassed wife for what seems like an eternity. In the interim, I asked the customer if he was sure that he didn't want to go over the receipt with me. He just ignored me.

The manager finally comes over and I tell him that he needs to cancel the order so that I can punch it in again. The manager is obviously confused, and asks me what is up.

Me: "The customer felt that I rang it in too quickly. He wants me to do it again, but this time more slowly."
Manager: "Why don't you just go over the receipt to make sure you didn't make any mistakes?"
Me: "Don't ask me, ask him."

Eventually, the manager cancelled the order and I typed it in deliberately as slowly as I possibly could. The customer then accused me of being a "smart-ass" for hitting each key as if I was moving in slow-motion. Of course, once I was done entering his order, it came out to exactly the same total as it did the first time.

The customer basically threw his money at me and angrily pushed his cart out the door. His wife was kind enough to mumble an apology to me as she walked by, though.

I grew to hate serving the public. Doing it as a teen-ager for a few years made me never want to do it again.

Cliff's notes: Customer freaks out because I typed in his order 'too quickly'. Wants me to cancel the order and do it again. I get a manager to cancel the order and type in the order as slowly as possible to make the customer happy. Instead, he calls me a "smart-ass" and storms out of the store when his order is the same price the second time as it was the first.

[realwtf]

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I loved being a dick to people who were dicks to me...
Some would bitch because I didn't give them a $5 bill and my answer would always be "I'm sorry, I don't have enough to give out. If you want change, you can go to the customer service desk and they will do it for you."

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If you ever said that to me, I'd be all over you.

ME: Can I get a $5?

YOU: Sorry, I don't have enough to give out.

ME: What does that mean?

YOU: Sorry?

ME: You don't have "enough"? That means you have "some", right? At least one? If so, why are you saving it? For when a customer needs a $5 bill, right? Isn't that time NOW?

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Any manager will back you up on this. We are not a bank and you are always told to never give change. Most cashiers do it as a courtesy or because they don't know any better.

You could get over me all you want. You're just wasting energy and I have the last laugh.

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Why would they back up an [censored] cashier over a paying custemer who just wants a $5?

I do not believe your storys.

[IggyWH]

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Why didn't you pocket the $20?

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It's not as easy to pocket money at a register as you think it might be. I could have pulled it off but I wasn't going to risk my job and possible law trouble over $20.