What's the funniest 1-liner you've heard after a hand?

[Kilillan]

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the best is when u trap someone for all their chips slowplaying aces... then suck out and chime in with "thats what u get for slow playing aces".... baby punching ensues..

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I say this every time I suckout on slowplayed aces.

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yeah me too

[Degenerasian]

After I get 1-outered on the river with the A hi flush to a rivered straight flush

Some guy to me: "That sucks, but it's not a bad beat."

[BowToYourSensei]

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a few nights ago i played 2/5nl at bellagio and this guy called me down w/A high no pair (obv lost) and said:

"you're lucky i suck"

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this is absolutely the best

[ua1176]

usually when im tilting:

"why don't you take my $$$ and try to treat your down syndrome"

or: "i hope you get hit by a bus"

i try not to....but sometimes [censored] just gets soooooo bad that i cant help myself.

also: most confusing from an opponent....

shortstack dude cold-calls my 3-bet OOP for like 1/3 of his stack. i shove the T62 flop to put him in. he flips A2. i have AT. he promptly turns a deuce.

"sorry bro i put you on AK/AQ when you 3-bet preflop."

.....

.....

.....

[florescent]

After I called this players reraise after he typed "i have the nuts, i wouldnt bet if i ur u" then he showed me the nuts. later on he said "i strait up told u what i had" then asked me "just kinda curious why u would bet when i told u what i had?" I called his reraise because I knew I could outplay him in the long run and I try not to let outside influences dictate my actions. It was a heads up sng and I did beat him with a 6 to 1 chip deficit.

[TheMadHeater]

$50+5 SNG and I've stealing the blinds relentlessly. A guy resteal pushes over my raise and I call with AJ. His A7 spikes and a different guy says 'lol i knew ud get caught 1 of these times'.

Similar but slightly different: 200NL cash game, I'm very active, raising preflop and firing on all streets without getting called. I pick up AA and bet every street. Overbet push the river for value and get called by a turned set. Inevitible post hand chat is 'i knew id get u'.

I guess these aren't funny really. They're just terrible.

[nath]

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We had this dude at our table that kept calling out all the odds and percentages: "No way you lost that! You were 67% to win on the flop!" "You had to call there, you were getting 3.5-1 odds." "Runner-runner flush cards? That's only 4% chance! Odds only 4 out of 100 that that would happen!" On and on, whether in the hand or not.

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You played with Phil Gordon?

[99killed]

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We had this dude at our table that kept calling out all the odds and percentages: "No way you lost that! You were 67% to win on the flop!" "You had to call there, you were getting 3.5-1 odds." "Runner-runner flush cards? That's only 4% chance! Odds only 4 out of 100 that that would happen!" On and on, whether in the hand or not.

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You played with Phil Gordon?

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LOL

[TakeYouByStorm]

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welp, im dead

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lolol

[GeraldGiraffe]

Playing against someone not very good, I pick up AA. Flop comes Q high and I lead out, he raises, I shove. He pairs his second card on the river, tells me 'I put you on AA and went with my read.' I quietly reloaded.