|
|
#91
06-13-2007, 11:28 AM
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Kinda cheated on gf...bit of a moral dilemma.
[ QUOTE ]
If you really love somebody, do you do things like this even though you know this will hurt them if/when you get caught? I have real difficulties cheating because I would feel very miserable with the fact that I've hurt the person whom I love deeply, so much. And you can say that if you don't get caught,no harm is done, but the fact that you say you will live with the consequences if you get caught means you know there is always a possibility that you really hurt the person you love. Can it be that some people have no problems hurting the ones they love, while others can't live with that? It just sounds really weird that you are loving somebody deeply and are willing to do that to them. Whenever I get in a position like this I break up with the girl, regardless of how much I love them and how much I regret it afterworths. [/ QUOTE ] Are we discussing lesbian relationships? <font color="white"> you sound like a total vagina. grow a dick and put it in a random bitch's ass </font> 
|
|
#92
06-13-2007, 11:32 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Kinda cheated on gf...bit of a moral dilemma.
I have tried that. I actually sat down at one point and said I wouldn't ever do that again, but then I found myself breaking up with the girl after three dates. I would still care for her and want to be with her but I saw no reason not to have sex with another woman. Maybe it is because I haven't found that one woman that makes me happy in everyway possible. Who knows. I honestly have stopped to to figure it out and just enjoy it. I a different outlook for the last few years now. Ever sense I was very close to lossing my life. I just decided that if I want it, I will get it. No matter what it is or what I would do to get it. I know people say that alot but hardly ever act on it, or are not willing to carry it through. I have. I don't believe in a next life, so to me u have a very, very limited time on this earth where u can really do anything u want, before nature and time catchs up to u, so u might as well make the most of it.
|
|
#93
06-13-2007, 11:52 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Kinda cheated on gf...bit of a moral dilemma.
dnt tell her. if u do its bye bye trust. she will always use it against u when u have an argument. it will always be there for her to use when she wants to piss u off. u wana throw five years dwn the drain jst caus eu kissd sum other girl? bs
|
|
#94
06-13-2007, 12:19 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Kinda cheated on gf...bit of a moral dilemma.
[ QUOTE ]
Please know that no matter what anybody else may tell you on here or anywhere else for that matter, YOU MUST <font color="red">NEVER</font> TELL HER! EVER. Seriously. There is no good that will come of this. 1.) It will either instantly ruin your relationship, 2.) slowly ruin your relationship, OR 3.) she'll act like it's not big deal and you can work through it....then she'll totally go out and [censored] the [censored] outta some other guy. This guy wont just be any other guy either. He'll be much more attractive than you and he'll probably have a bigger unit too. DON'T TELL HER [censored]! You don't want the girl you love banging somebody else behind your back, do you? [/ QUOTE ] 3 days later and I still can't decide whether the last line of this post was meant sincerely or ironically. I'm settling on "both"...
|
|
#96
06-13-2007, 02:10 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Kinda cheated on gf...bit of a moral dilemma.
LOL this has turned into another lostsoul thread...
Interesting to see the differences in opinion on here, everything from cheat more for practice and get a BJ next time to you are the scum of the earth and should tell her and break off the relationship. A few observations. - Maybe I'm old-fashioned but I don't see how getting married doesn't make cheating worse. Especially if you have kids. I'm not religious but I don't take marriage lightly...something CHANGES once you take those vows. There has to be a difference between if I mess around now vs if I mess around after we get married. - I don't understand how people can say things like you def don't love your gf or your should break it off cuz you can't love a girl and like fooling around with other chicks. We are men. Of course we like fooling around with other chicks. Its in our DNA. That doesn't mean that I don't love my gf and don't wanna spend the rest of my life with her. - Not feeling guily. There may be something to this, idk. If I had done more I'm sure I'd be ridden w/ guilt. Once you have sex it becomes a much more intimate act then just a little play time. - I can't belive the only "pics plz" was for blue lobsters. Anyway long story short I'm still not sure if I would "cheat" again if the situation presented itself...I am not going to seek it out though, thats for sure.
|
|
#97
06-13-2007, 03:09 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Kinda cheated on gf...bit of a moral dilemma.
>>> There has to be a difference between if I mess around now vs if I mess around after we get married.
Well, maybe two differences. One is, if you mess around now and she finds out, there's drama, a breakup, whatever, but it's clean (relatively). If you mess around & get caught married, it's uglier...possibility of divorce etc etc. The other diff is that probably, having decided to get married, you'd have a clearer answer than "I'm still not sure if I would "cheat" again if the situation presented itself"...with the attitude of "eh, maybe, maybe not", right now, that probably means "yea i would/will"... - You describe this as "just a little playtime"...how would you feel if you discovered that your gf had done the same thing, whatever that was? some self-knowledge/honesty here might be helpful.
|
|
#98
06-13-2007, 03:26 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Kinda cheated on gf...bit of a moral dilemma.
[ QUOTE ]
>>> There has to be a difference between if I mess around now vs if I mess around after we get married. Well, maybe two differences. One is, if you mess around now and she finds out, there's drama, a breakup, whatever, but it's clean (relatively). If you mess around & get caught married, it's uglier...possibility of divorce etc etc. The other diff is that probably, having decided to get married, you'd have a clearer answer than "I'm still not sure if I would "cheat" again if the situation presented itself"...with the attitude of "eh, maybe, maybe not", right now, that probably means "yea i would/will"... [/ QUOTE ] Agree about the seriousness of it once you get married, and also I think that once I get married I would have a much clearer attitude about cheating. [ QUOTE ] - You describe this as "just a little playtime"...how would you feel if you discovered that your gf had done the same thing, whatever that was? some self-knowledge/honesty here might be helpful. [/ QUOTE ] I would be mad but it wouldn't be an automatic relationship killer. My gf and I have a very solid and mature relationship. I would assess the situation (was it a drunked hook up, or something more?) and act accordingly, but I would try to work through it. This brings up an interesting point though. If my gf had some playtime my first thought would be that she is unhappy in the relationship, and I'd want to find out if that is true and get to the deeper issue. IMO most girls (my gf included) are much less likely to have random hookups once they are in a committed relationship. If they are cheating there is probably something more to it. Guys OTOH can seperate sex and love very easily and be completely in love w/ someone but still act on pure lust...
|
|
#99
06-13-2007, 04:48 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Kinda cheated on gf...bit of a moral dilemma.
[ QUOTE ]
If my gf had some playtime my first thought would be that she is unhappy in the relationship, and I'd want to find out if that is true and get to the deeper issue. [/ QUOTE ] I'm sorry, but there's almost a 0% chance that "hmmm, she must be unhappy in the relationship" would be your first thought upon hearing the news that that she banged some random dude. Honestly, OP, you sound like someone who feels bad about cheating and is trying to justify it to himself. Not that it makes you unique. -McGee
|
|
#100
06-13-2007, 04:50 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Kinda cheated on gf...bit of a moral dilemma.
[ QUOTE ]
There has to be a difference between if I mess around now vs if I mess around after we get married. [/ QUOTE ] You don't love this girl as much as you think you do, you should not marry her. This statement is so obvious (to me) in that you WANT it to be different, you want there to be a huge difference, so cheating now is 'OK'. Man up and break up with her.
|
 |
|
|
Linear Mode
