Incapable of love?

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
I heard a quote that sounds foolish but it's absolutely true. You can lose a lot of money chasing women but you'll never lose a woman chasing money.


[/ QUOTE ]

Actually this is a fairly common thing with lawyers and other professionals. That's probably one of the reasons why their rate of drug abuse and alcoholism is so high, as is their rate of heart disease and heart attacks.

Scenario goes: Newly minted laywer spends a ton of time at work at law firm, as new hires are expected to do, and to learn the ropes. This goes on for a couple years, and then he spends a ton of hours at work so he can make partner or junior partner, so his career can really go somewhere and he can pull in some serious bucks. Let's say he makes his partnership/junior partnership. Then he needs to spend tons of time to get himself a job higher up the partnership ladder, maybe one day even to managing partner of some section of his firm. This can go on for decades.

Meanwhile, at home, wifey enjoys the money, but not so much the decades of rarely seeing her husband, and often seeing him only when he's tired and really stressed out. She more or less raises the kids in his absence. After a while she's lonely, bored, and bitter. The only thing she really enjoys in the relationship anymore is the lifestyle. Plus she realizes she's not getting any younger, and if she's going to jump ship, she needs to do it while she's still got a chance of attracting someone and the kids are still around to draw support money and let her keep the house.

Wife divorces hubby and keeps the house, kids, one of the cars, part of the 401k and other assets, etc. Her lifestyle is intact, but now her life has a chance, she figures, to be interesting again, maybe this time with a partner who's not just a crabby sloth who can't stop arguing.

So hubby has spent 15, 20, 30 years chasing money, in his mind perhaps for his family. What family? He never used to see them and now they're gone anyway. Time to rent an apartment, hit the bottle and buy a sportscar.

[guids]

[ QUOTE ]
Interestingly I was considering making a similar post, but less that i'm clingy or wear my heart on my sleeve, rather I feel i'm fairly emotionless person, not to be mistaken as negative infact quite the contrary i'm very outgoing and I always feel happy however I have totally rationalised in my mind that I don't really believe in being in love I have choosen the girl who I will marry on how she complements me, that she will be a good wife and that I will not get bored having sex with her. Is this wrong, I don't know does it matter? If I'm happy with this decision and I will keep this women happy then who loses?

Now don't confuse that I won't love this women as my wife and care for her, I will but more as a matter of what the goals of life should be.

I am saving love for my children. And I think this reflects much more what people really have in their lives I don't believe in the past parents loved each forever but they committed themselves by their joint love of their children.

This is a bit rambly whatever.

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standard. If she looks good, can cook, clean, party as hard as I do, and preferably doesnt speak english, well, Ill snatch one up, but that is a rarity in this day and age.

[Blarg]

If she can party as hard as you do you'll want to trade her in after a few years. Hard partying girls age really hard and fast.

[superadvisor]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I heard a quote that sounds foolish but it's absolutely true. You can lose a lot of money chasing women but you'll never lose a woman chasing money.


[/ QUOTE ]

Actually this is a fairly common thing with lawyers and other professionals. That's probably one of the reasons why their rate of drug abuse and alcoholism is so high, as is their rate of heart disease and heart attacks.

Scenario goes: Newly minted laywer spends a ton of time at work at law firm, as new hires are expected to do, and to learn the ropes. This goes on for a couple years, and then he spends a ton of hours at work so he can make partner or junior partner, so his career can really go somewhere and he can pull in some serious bucks. Let's say he makes his partnership/junior partnership. Then he needs to spend tons of time to get himself a job higher up the partnership ladder, maybe one day even to managing partner of some section of his firm. This can go on for decades.

Meanwhile, at home, wifey enjoys the money, but not so much the decades of rarely seeing her husband, and often seeing him only when he's tired and really stressed out. She more or less raises the kids in his absence. After a while she's lonely, bored, and bitter. The only thing she really enjoys in the relationship anymore is the lifestyle. Plus she realizes she's not getting any younger, and if she's going to jump ship, she needs to do it while she's still got a chance of attracting someone and the kids are still around to draw support money and let her keep the house.

Wife divorces hubby and keeps the house, kids, one of the cars, part of the 401k and other assets, etc. Her lifestyle is intact, but now her life has a chance, she figures, to be interesting again, maybe this time with a partner who's not just a crabby sloth who can't stop arguing.

So hubby has spent 15, 20, 30 years chasing money, in his mind perhaps for his family. What family? He never used to see them and now they're gone anyway. Time to rent an apartment, hit the bottle and buy a sportscar.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry Blarg, you sound like an idiot here. There are plenty, if not a majority of successful businessmen who have happy marriages. Don't believe all the crap you watch on the Lifetime network.

[guids]

[ QUOTE ]
If she can party as hard as you do you'll want to trade her in after a few years. Hard partying girls age really hard and fast.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, the plan is to find a 19 year old, party with her for a few years, and then settle down and try to make myself rich.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I heard a quote that sounds foolish but it's absolutely true. You can lose a lot of money chasing women but you'll never lose a woman chasing money.


[/ QUOTE ]

Actually this is a fairly common thing with lawyers and other professionals. That's probably one of the reasons why their rate of drug abuse and alcoholism is so high, as is their rate of heart disease and heart attacks.

Scenario goes: Newly minted laywer spends a ton of time at work at law firm, as new hires are expected to do, and to learn the ropes. This goes on for a couple years, and then he spends a ton of hours at work so he can make partner or junior partner, so his career can really go somewhere and he can pull in some serious bucks. Let's say he makes his partnership/junior partnership. Then he needs to spend tons of time to get himself a job higher up the partnership ladder, maybe one day even to managing partner of some section of his firm. This can go on for decades.

Meanwhile, at home, wifey enjoys the money, but not so much the decades of rarely seeing her husband, and often seeing him only when he's tired and really stressed out. She more or less raises the kids in his absence. After a while she's lonely, bored, and bitter. The only thing she really enjoys in the relationship anymore is the lifestyle. Plus she realizes she's not getting any younger, and if she's going to jump ship, she needs to do it while she's still got a chance of attracting someone and the kids are still around to draw support money and let her keep the house.

Wife divorces hubby and keeps the house, kids, one of the cars, part of the 401k and other assets, etc. Her lifestyle is intact, but now her life has a chance, she figures, to be interesting again, maybe this time with a partner who's not just a crabby sloth who can't stop arguing.

So hubby has spent 15, 20, 30 years chasing money, in his mind perhaps for his family. What family? He never used to see them and now they're gone anyway. Time to rent an apartment, hit the bottle and buy a sportscar.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry Blarg, you sound like an idiot here. There are plenty, if not a majority of successful businessmen who have happy marriages. Don't believe all the crap you watch on the Lifetime network.

[/ QUOTE ]

You're the one who sounds like an idiot. First, I said professionals, not businessmen. Second, I said something was fairly common, not universal. Third, my grandfather's a laywer, my dad's a lawyer, most of his friends were lawyers when I was growing up, and I've worked in different law offices for years. Fourth, I don't really watch any television, either, and when I do, it's PBS or the discovery channel or the history channel. I've heard of the Lifetime channel, but never watched it. You'd know more than me what's on it.

You struck out on every count.

[xxThe_Lebowskixx]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
whats your relationship like with your mother?

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We get along fine - we are not very close though.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well I think the textbook pyschobable is that fear of commitment is caused by childhood abandonment, but who the ef knows.

[Dallas Rounder]

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Wow. You've been in two whole relationships and you weren't compatible in either one of them, something must be seriously wrong with you.

Everything you've described sounds painfully standard and you're completely over thinking the entire situation.

Take this time to focus on you. Figure out better now that you're single things that make you happy. Figure out better how you want to progress in your life. And just Figure out how to be a better person to yourself and the women will follow naturally.

I heard a quote that sounds foolish but it's absolutely true. You can lose a lot of money chasing women but you'll never lose a woman chasing money.

Incapable of love? [censored], you just haven't found a woman to accept your love properly.

[/ QUOTE ]

Some good advice. You're seem a bit worried about your lack of emotions in some situation, and you also seem to have a low level of general anxiety. Check out this top not book in your free time: The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edward Bourne

[guids]

On a side note, I fell in love last thursday night, I had some business with a friend of mine who runs an albanian restaurant, at the bar was this 5'10, redish blond godess. Super hot, by herself, etc. I asked my buddy abotu her, he says, go for it, and smiles. I hit teh bar talking with my friend, he calls her over, we meet etc. She was like a bond girl. she had her wrists wrapped up with gauze though, i asked what happened, she said she punched out a bunch of windows in her ex-boyfriends apartment. Yikes. I cant wait to sleep with her though.

[Blarg]

LOL, good story so far.

5'10", eh? Better check below.