Loaning friends money

[RandomFluke]

I loan close friends money, and they've always repaid it. My general rule is if I believe our positions were reversed and they would loan me the money, then i'll lend it to them.

However, I loaned my brother $3200 a little over 2 years ago and am starting to think I'm not going to get it back. This has really been bothering me, not because he owes me money, but because he is screening my calls now and I basically have gone from a good relationship, to him avoiding me because he feel embarassed that he has owed me money for so long... Now I wish I'd never loaned him the money. Also I heard from a relative my brother went on a 2 week vacation out of the country recently rather then paying me back... Honestly I don't know what to do, because I know if I come down on him he'll probably never talk to me again.

[Bond18]

The worst part of the whole situation is if and when you actually help someone out as a major favor, they then make you into the villain when you ask for it back. I have difficulty imagining a more hypocritical insult.

[homeboy604]

I leant my friend since we were 7, 2K to come out to australia and backpack with me.
he needed the money, because he hadnt been able to sell his car yet.
the car sold when we were backpacking, and 4 months after i lent him the money it was paid in full.
hes probably the only person i'd fully trust to pay me back, besides my parents.
i wouldnt even fully trust my 2 brothers or sister.

on a side note: if a friend doesnt pay you back after you've leant them money, then they probably werent a good friend to begin with.
consider the money lost, as an investment in knowing who your friends really are.

[WhoIam]

[ QUOTE ]
There is a difference between "spotting" and "loaning" in my opinion.

Spotting is when some dude doesn't have some small amount of cash at the moment, like at a small stakes re-buy or some restaurant that doesn't take plastic. You spot, and you should absolutely expect to get paid back.

Loaning is amounts that are meaningful to one or the other. My rule of thumb is, find out why they need it. Then decide if you would be happy writing it off to help a friend avoid that scenario. If the answer is yes, do it. People get weird about money for sure, but if bad [censored] is gonna happen, maybe weirdness is the lesser of evils.

[/ QUOTE ]
I agree with this 100%. My friends and I will spot each other money all the time and this has never resulted in any problems. In my early days as a poker pro, I often wasn't responsible enough to keep money in my "real" bank account, so I was often pseudo-broke as a result of mistimed withdrawals. I would frequently find myself with no cash on a Friday night or in a similar situation, so I would often be on the receiving end of small loans to cover my bar tabs etc. My friends weren't thrilled about it, but they knew I would always pay this back as soon as I possibly could.

I was once involved in a kind of loan/staking agreement with a close friend of mine. I ran bad, lost a significant chunk of the money, and decided bail out before I lost it all. I gave him what was left and told him I would repay the rest when I could. It took much longer than expected and I voluntarily gave him some interest, but it really placed a strain on our relationship.

The only time I would consider loaning a friend a significant amount of money would be in an emergency situation--friend ran into hard times and his family is about to be evicted, he needs me to bail him out of jail, etc.

[HeheOkok]

"heheokay,

tough spot. I wouldn't feel too much hope about getting more money, but I'm also really surprised you gave him that last $400. I'd never loan money to a degen gambler with a drug problem. "


Well, I lent him another $400 so that I could tell him I wouldn't loan him any more money without feeling like a dick. I felt really sorry for him. Not because of the situation he's in, but basically because I don't see much hope for him getting anywhere in life.

[AquaSwing]

I agree completely, there is a definite difference between spotting, loaning, and giving.

My friends and I spot each other small amounts(<$50) all the time, usually repaid after a trip to the ATM, home etc. Not even considered a loan since you have the funds, just not at the exact moment you need them.

Loaning is different, and the most tricky. I owe a 2p2er some money right now but I will pay him the moment I see him, unless of course I lose it all in Vegas this weekend! Anyway, in the 90s a buddy of mine and I used to go up to Canada every summer. The trip would cost about $1500 each and he wouldn't be able to cover it all due to his job. I'd end up buying his plane ticket and not collecting his half of the hotel. Everything else would be square. He kept pretty good track of what it was over the years and it was close to $2k. Up until about 2004 he would bring it up and mention how he would start paying it back. Well, all of a sudden the debt was gone and I didn't have anything to show for it. Instead of causing major trouble over it, I just figured it was the cost of the trips.

What's humorous is now he's only slightly better off financially and when we want to do a short road trip to see a concert or something, he will bow out because he can't afford the ticket or half the hotel or whatever. I always offer to pay for whatever it is but he won't take it. And when we do go on trips we will each pay for stuff and not keep exact amounts but it always works out in the end.

[turnipmonster]

I never lend any money to friends or family or anyone, probably never will. if any of my close friends or family needed money though, I would give them whatever I could.

[Stake Monster]

[ QUOTE ]
don't do it.

either gift it or don't give at all. loans to friends ruin friendships and don't get paid back.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sure does, a 500.00 loan I made to my best friend of 12+ years got in between us and now we don't talk to each other. Him avoiding to contact me for 2 yrs when I was overseas didn't really help.

[AceCR9]

I just remember a online friend owes me $700 for like last September. I loaned it to him because he had no money, but now I'm asking for it back, and wondering if I will see it.

[raptor517]

meh, i try to avoid loans. i got burned a couple times so i generally have a no loaning policy. i get hit up a ton and its annoying so i just say no to everyone.