Gamblers Anonymous!

[SnappyJoe]

Hi, my name is Jesper Pedersen and I'm a compulsive gambler.

This might get long and it might get boring but this is my story and I feel like it might help someone.

It all started about 8 months ago, I saw Gus Hansen win some wpt event on the tv and it caught my attention. Later that week i deposited 25$ on Eurobet after surveying different sites I found out that they had rakeback and a monthly 25$ reload. I grinded my 25$ at nl10 fullring and I ran really good and the more I played the more it devoured me. Soon I had a couple hundred bucks and I moved on up to nl25 when I discovered 2p2. This was when I started seeing potential in poker, the first time I thought this could be a prosperus adventure into the world of gambling. Back then I was naive and a bit of a megalomaniac. Over the months I switched to 6max as 2p2 dictated, I read all the books but this just wasn't the game for me, of course I couldn't see this myself. I moved up a bit and my bankroll reached a maximum at 1800$ with me taking shots at nl100 thinking the breakthrough and wealth was well within reach. It all peaked on april 28th when I found myself in irc on #msnl looking for people willing to take propbets of 2.000$ on me being able to play 100.000 hands of nl50 with my roll of aproximately 1000$ in may. Clearly the most -ev bet I had ever been willing to take since the most I'd ever played was 25k. I had stepped over the thin line from happy gambler and straight into a state of compulsive gambling.

Luckily one of the guys from #msnl handed me a wake up call. Ghaz(ninjapon) took a lot of his time to try to explain to me how -ev my propbet was and why I should quit poker. I had some revelations while talking to Ghaz. Before starting poker I was playing and coaching american football, I was lifting weights 3-4 times weekly, my social life was as good as it had ever been and there was a special girl in my life. Basically I was a 220 pound 6'7 extraordinare athlete with everything under control. After playing poker for 8 months my sleep schedule is [censored] up, I'm pale, I've lost about 22 pounds of bodyweight (most likely most muscle) without noticing it untill a couple of days ago, I find myself cancelling plans with friends, isolating myself to play poker if I'm stuck and I ruined my relationship with my now former girlfriend.

Why should you care?
I needed a serious wakeup call and luckily Lucas was there to help me out. I know you're probably not all as [censored] up as I was before realizing how bad it was, but look at yourself now and look at yourself before you started playing poker. Then make a life ev calculation and see if it's REALLY worth playing poker for so many hours every day.

Reclaim your life, it's not easy and I'm still trying to do it!

Best of luck and best of wishes
Jesper (Effectively off poker for good)

PS. Holla @ Lucas for saving my life (literally)!

And please save your taunts and ridicule for another thread, this is serious stuff and I expect to be taken serious.

[ybother]

Post deleted by ybother

[ElPhoenix]

good post snappy, i hope you still chat in IRC

[Mr_Pathetic]

I can relate although it was not poker that did me in, it was drugs. From 1999-2005 were basically hardcore for me and much of what you say in this post is very true for me. I lost the girl I should have married, my health, and approx 100k. I have now been clean of everything but pot for 2 years and clean of pot for almost 60 days. I stopped smoking 2 packs of cigs a day on Dec. 15th, 2005. Best move of my life. Even just smoking pot left me socially void as it is extremely difficult to get anything done while smoking an eighth of dank a day. Somehow though I kept it together long enough to get a few degrees but I have lost so much.

Thing is it does not matter what you do, poker, gambling, drugs, lifting weights, everything has its place. I know a few people who work out religiously and work 50 hours a week and sans the money loss they are no better off then I was doing lots of drugs. Not even health wise as one of them has encountered injuries from intense working out.

Life is all about self-control. You cannot control environment or others but you can control yourself. "The highest form of control is knowing when to let go." Don't know who said it but if you really think about it, espicially in a theoretical sense, it is 100% truth.

[wims]

Yeap, good post. GL and hope to still see you around on irc

[Lurker.]

chips plz. you'll be back.

[Dunkman]

Good post, I wish you luck and I'm glad you've seen this before things got really bad. Poker is a fun hobby for me. If it becomes more than that I hope that I can let it go too. As bad as I suck I don't have to deal with the illusions of big money, so that helps keep it in check I suppose.

[jacbmw]

gl in doing whatever you think is necessary...and having the strength to continue doing it through temptation...

The reason why i find it necessary to respond, is that i find relativity a crazy thing. You have explained what poker is to you, and at the same time, it is for me something that takes me away from the bad influences in my life. It gives me another option, as opposed to "going out" and getting f*%&ed up, and something i look forward to doing on a quiet night in on saturday night.

[Keys Myaths]

Thanks for doing this.

My father is an alcoholic and drug addict, and every time I play, I need to make sure this isn't compulsive. I don't play nearly as much as I could/would like to, just for that reason. Sometimes, I find myself slipping, but at least I have something to read to hopefully make sure I don't go there.

[Sean Fraley]

[ QUOTE ]
The reason why i find it necessary to respond, is that i find relativity a crazy thing. You have explained what poker is to you, and at the same time, it is for me something that takes me away from the bad influences in my life. It gives me another option, as opposed to "going out" and getting f*%&ed up, and something i look forward to doing on a quiet night in on saturday night.

[/ QUOTE ]

I can relate to this. Due to some life beats over the past couple of years, I am currently 31 years old, living at home and washing dishes in a nursing home to make ends meet and pay of a pile of debt. Discovering poker in the last year has given me the opportunity to make money by being disciplined and intelligent, and by the time I hit 50NL will most likely pay more than my day job. Playing poker has, in an entirely unexpected fashion, helped me restore my dignity and self-esteem after a having it beat to crap in the last couple of years. Let's face it, at 31 when you are having a conversation with someone you meet at the bar, a party, or some other social situation, answering the question "So what do you do for a living?" with "I wash dishes at a nursing home" is in a fashion humiliating, especially when you have a reputation for being one of the smartest people present. On the other hand answering with "I play poker online, but have a day job at a nursing home since PokerStars has yet to offer medical, dental, vision, or 401k" is not remotely as embarrassing and has even gained a certain modicum of respect since it hit T.V.

That having been said gambling, along with any activity that, when participated in can lead to an increase in dopamine, can also lead to intense psychological addiction. Add to this the fact that poker by nature can put at risk a great deal of money when the player is not in complete control of their thought processes and emotions, and as such a gambling addiction can be devastating financially, socially, and physically. Please read OP's post again, and look to see if any of the effects in his life are happening in yours. Also, go to Gamblers Anonymous' website and read about some of the other signs of gambling addiction. If you see evidence of addiction, seriously consider getting help.