The effects of sex crimes on the victims

[malorum]

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being raped by a man certainly wouldn't be on my list of things that I would like to do before I die..but I simply don't see it as even in the same realm as being murdered, or even simply brutally beaten...

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I recall watching a recent documentary about gang activity in south african prisons.

I remember the numbers leader explaining how he picked men as his "women" so he could have sex with them (he was he explained not gay).
When asked what happened if the victim refused, he said quite matter of factly "I KILL THEM".

I don't think he wanted to hurt his bitches, and there was no indication he wanted to be violent, unless they refused his affection. Infact he described how he wanted to look into their faces while he raped them.
Of course with HIV being endemic in the prison population the victim did not have to worry about wether or not he would ultimately develop aids. That was a given.

I'm not sure but compared to this I think I'd rather take a beating by a group of drunk thugs in a bar.

[PLOlover]

I think it's a universal human thingy where you want to mirror someones actions, by which I mean,

If a person yells at you, you will feel a lot better if you yell back.
If a person hits you, you will feel a lot better if you hit back.
To take it further, if you are yelled at or hit and you do not "get even" you may have emotional problems, and if you go and yell at someone who yelled at you you will "work it out" and feel better.

Now to take this to sex crimes, you can see why sex crime victims often turn into predators sometimes. And why in a fist fight, you might not even suffer any emotional damage, even if you lose the fight, because there was a certain symmetry in the fight, he hit you and you hit him, and so you don't feel the unbalance of power.

[vhawk01]

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I think it's a universal human thingy where you want to mirror someones actions, by which I mean,

If a person yells at you, you will feel a lot better if you yell back.
If a person hits you, you will feel a lot better if you hit back.
To take it further, if you are yelled at or hit and you do not "get even" you may have emotional problems, and if you go and yell at someone who yelled at you you will "work it out" and feel better.

Now to take this to sex crimes, you can see why sex crime victims often turn into predators sometimes. And why in a fist fight, you might not even suffer any emotional damage, even if you lose the fight, because there was a certain symmetry in the fight, he hit you and you hit him, and so you don't feel the unbalance of power.

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This sounds like 100% made up.

[bunny]

Personally, I think it's to do with the private "sacrosanct" nature of sex vs violence (ie I think it's cultural). Most people would expect to go through life experiencing violence of some sort (even if only at the schoolyard or inter-sibling level) so we are able to process or deal with it when it happens. I think we are much less prepared by our society and/or upbringing to deal with sexual molestation.

[PLOlover]

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Quote:
I think it's a universal human thingy where you want to mirror someones actions, by which I mean,

If a person yells at you, you will feel a lot better if you yell back.
If a person hits you, you will feel a lot better if you hit back.
To take it further, if you are yelled at or hit and you do not "get even" you may have emotional problems, and if you go and yell at someone who yelled at you you will "work it out" and feel better.

Now to take this to sex crimes, you can see why sex crime victims often turn into predators sometimes. And why in a fist fight, you might not even suffer any emotional damage, even if you lose the fight, because there was a certain symmetry in the fight, he hit you and you hit him, and so you don't feel the unbalance of power.



This sounds like 100% made up.

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well I mean i did make it up but I think it applies in certain situations. I mean, say we are in a casino and I walk over and take a stack of your chips. If you can just take it back or call security or whatever and get it back you won't feel so bad, but if security tells you there's nothing they can do, and you see me walking around knowing that I stole a stack from you I can pretty much guarantee you are gonna totally steam about it until either a) you take some action to set it right by reclaiming your stack, or what you consider some equivalent punishment to give me, b) somehow sublimate all that mental stuff, or c) enough time passes that you "get over it".

Anyway, it would be interesting to ask real life rape victims about their post trauma recovery and split them into three categories
a) raped only, total victim
b) raped and they got justice, guy went to jail
c) raped, and the woman ended up killing or injuring the guy either in the act or even after the fact.

Obviously c) would be far less common but it is a big world.

[soon2bepro]

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my questions is..Does it have to be that way?¨

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In the society we live in, yes, it's a must.

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what is the reason that people are so damaged by these things...

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Social influence.