something wrong with me

[gratefulRob]

something wrong with me
#10188455 - 04/30/07 05:41 PM Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



.Im writing this because recently I have realized there is something seriously wrong with me. Here are the symptoms; I get really tense when someone(even my friends talk to me). I can't even pay attention to what there saying a lot of the time and am always looking over my shoulder looking for a way out of the conversation. I think I am paranoid to even breath the same air as people. I have a hard problem keeping my head up when around people and even by myself. When I want to do something I often talk my way out of it stay where am and getting really tense in fear of human contact. I do not enjoy life when I am acting this way. I don't look forward to anything. My brother is schzophenic(spelling) Maybe I am When I was younger he stabbed my other brotherin the back(i saw witnessed it) He then was sent away to a mental hosipital. I haven't even talked to my father in years( my parents are divorced). I can't bring my self too. For as long as I can remember I have been able to relax around anyone. I have lots of friends somehow still but find it hard to communicate with them. Ive gone to lots of shows with them and can't even listen to the music. I love music too. I've done lots of drugs and they probaly have [censored] up my head alot as well. ( lots of lsd, mushrooms, coke, heavy drinking) The only time I was at a show and actually listened to music it was like an explosion went of in my mind. I finally felt alright soon after I was talking with friends and strangers.Felt like i was meeting people for the first time in my life. Soon I was dancing with a smoking hot girl having the best time of my life. ( I am not gay but its really hard for me to talk to girls, have gotten laid a bunch of times) But when I woke up and the drugs wore off I was the same sketch ball. ( drugs usually make me really tense even though I have done a large amounts of them) I'm only 21 so I'm hoping if I figure this [censored] out now I will be alright. But the deppresion is getting worse and I can't even communicate with my family for help. I really dont know what the [censored] is wrong with me. I dont know why I am posting this. it probaly is in the wrong place. if anyone has any suggestions, or ideas what is going on let me know. Sorry for the poor grammar

[arod18]

Post deleted by arod18

[katyseagull]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm only 21 so I'm hoping if I figure this [censored] out now I will be alright. But the deppresion is getting worse and I can't even communicate with my family for help.

[/ QUOTE ]

First off, why can't you communicate with your family members? Is there anyone you feel close to? Do you have an aunt, uncle, teacher who you could confide in and ask for advice? Come on now, there must be someone who is stable and responsible who you can turn to.

Second, stop doing drugs dude. What is wrong with you? You're already becoming paranoid and anti-social. You're starting to worry about your own behavior. Why do drugs like lsd and mushrooms? This is the exact opposite of what you should do. People need to take care of their health and stop acting stupid. Drugs can mess you up so badly that it will take a long time to recover. I believe a lot of those drugs have a permanent effect on your brain so if I were you I'd stop doing them immediately. That includes heavy drinking.

I really hope you seek out some counseling. It's obvious you are worried that you may have schizophrenia like your one brother. You need some answers to your questions and I sincerely hope you seek out a professional qualified in this field . Are you a student?

[gratefulRob]

I wish it was. I dont know why would anyone would make up any of what what i wrote.

[gratefulRob]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm only 21 so I'm hoping if I figure this [censored] out now I will be alright. But the deppresion is getting worse and I can't even communicate with my family for help.

[/ QUOTE ]

First off, why can't you communicate with your family members? Is there anyone you feel close to? Do you have an aunt, uncle, teacher who you could confide in and ask for advice? Come on now, there must be someone who is stable and responsible who you can turn to.

Second, stop doing drugs dude. What is wrong with you? You're already becoming paranoid and anti-social. You're starting to worry about your own behavior. Why do drugs like lsd and mushrooms? This is the exact opposite of what you should do. People need to take care of their health and stop acting stupid. Drugs can mess you up so badly that it will take a long time to recover. I believe a lot of those drugs have a permanent effect on your brain so if I were you I'd stop doing them immediately. That includes heavy drinking.

I really hope you seek out some counseling. It's obvious you are worried that you may have schizophrenia like your one brother. You need some answers to your questions and I sincerely hope you seek out a professional qualified in this field . Are you a student?

[/ QUOTE ]
No i'm not a student. I dropped out of highschool and got my GED. I seriously lack ambtion to do anything. I havent worked in months and cant keep a job for more then a few months. Last time i quit my job I turned 20 bucks into over 13k playing poker. Made some poor decesions playing drunk and and on drugs paniacked and lost my confidence. After that cashed out all the rest blew all my money on stupid [censored] and have been living off the rest.

[Sniper]

katy is right...

[ QUOTE ]
I really hope you seek out some counseling. It's obvious you are worried that you may have schizophrenia like your one brother. You need some answers to your questions and I sincerely hope you seek out a professional qualified in this field .

[/ QUOTE ]

[Steven_Q_Erkel]

You sound exactly like me. I recently went to my doctor with the same symptoms, paranoia, always fidgeting, it's tough to explain but I always feel unsettled and on edge, It's impossible to make simple decisions, like my mind is split into a hundred different pieces. Always overthinking everything and emotionally detached from other people. I believe my situation is General Anxiety Disorder which shares a lot of the same symptoms as clinical depression and can be brought on by traumatic experiences. I've started some medication for it which has yet to really kick in but I've started to feel a lot less like I'm falling further into my own grave with each passing day, so I guess it's a good start. I suggest you talk to you doctor. Sorry to hear about your brother, mine has schizo-effective disorder, it's not easy to live with. At one point he was convinced I was trying to poison his food so he thought scaring me into thinking he's going to kill me first was the best way to go, it was an interesting few years until I played enough poker to move out. Oh well, good luck, send me a PM or something if you want to talk.

[gratefulRob]

[ QUOTE ]
You sound exactly like me. I recently went to my doctor with the same symptoms, paranoia, always fidgeting, it's tough to explain but I always feel unsettled and on edge, It's impossible to make simple decisions, like my mind is split into a hundred different pieces. Always overthinking everything and emotionally detached from other people. I believe my situation is General Anxiety Disorder which shares a lot of the same symptoms as clinical depression and can be brought on by traumatic experiences. I've started some medication for it which has yet to really kick in but I've started to feel a lot less like I'm falling further into my own grave with each passing day, so I guess it's a good start. I suggest you talk to you doctor. Sorry to hear about your brother, mine has schizo-effective disorder, it's not easy to live with. At one point he was convinced I was trying to poison his food so he thought scaring me into thinking he's going to kill me first was the best way to go, it was an interesting few years until I played enough poker to move out. Oh well, good luck, send me a PM or something if you want to talk.

[/ QUOTE ] yeah it feels like my mind is split in half or something. when ever theres a party at my house or something and my friends are talking it sometimes is impossible for me to concentrate. I can't decide on who to listen too if i'm just standing there. A lot of the time I'll want to do something and i'll just freeze maybe not even be able to move

[samsonite2100]

1) Go to doctor
2) Get diagnosed/get counselling
3) Get on appropriate meds
4) Get better

Seriously, this isn't that complicated. You obviously feel something is wrong with you, and you have a family history of mental illness. Don't wait around for things to miraculously get better on their own. Take the initiative and get treated the same way you would if there was something physically wrong with you.

[NhlNut]

Spaceman Bryce?



Seriously,
[ QUOTE ]
katy is right...

[ QUOTE ]
I really hope you seek out some counseling. It's obvious you are worried that you may have schizophrenia like your one brother. You need some answers to your questions and I sincerely hope you seek out a professional qualified in this field .

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]