Ask the 2+2 Ladies Your Questions

[ystr82u]

Felicia, thanks for the reply.
i actually tried that and she instantly lost control. she started with "i knew it, you dont want to live with me anymore ..." etc. i tried for a few days to be like that and she was just crazy about it and went at her parents. she was actually thinking i want to leave her, and had to convince her that i wasnt going to.
plus to give an example of how she is.
say we walk on the road and some really hot chick pops up in front of us, we both look at her and after we pass her she starts asking "did you like her?" "have you met her before in the past?" "look she had curly hair like i saw you liked at other women... " etc... i try my best to ignore that cause she cools down rapidly but i think that's in her system right now that I AM GOING TO SCREW UP which, by no means i will ever do that.
im seriously beginning to think that it's not just this and it's the money issue a lot.
you ladies here, when you didnt work and your husbands/boyfriends paid for everything, did you ever think/feel like this?

later edit:
i just want to say (will be going home in a few minutes and dont know how much i will be able to post from there) that we really click, and just those 5 mins/day in which she is paranoid stress me, the rest is really great. she is a wonderful person and really makes me feel i belong with her. she is always surprising me when i get home with some awesome food or something like that, or when she knows i had a hard day at work she waits me and she just says "jump into bed and let me massage you" and a lot of other things.
but that little thing is the thing that bothers me because i really want to marry her and i want to not be any doubts when we take that step.
i will try to give quick replies from home too, if i can.
thank you

[Mrs. Utah]

[ QUOTE ]

im seriously beginning to think that it's not just this and it's the money issue a lot.
you ladies here, when you didnt work and your husbands/boyfriends paid for everything, did you ever think/feel like this?

[/ QUOTE ]

I can only speak for myself and have always worked, but I will never make what Utah makes-

Its just a given that we support each other. I know a lot of couples keep their finances separate but we combine our resources and its a partnership, not about who brings in more. Its finding a balance, not always easy to do.


I do not know what to say about her reactions to you and situations. There is no rush to get married. Like I said, do not even go there is there is any doubt.
(I am not sure how to say this nicely) Do not let her guilt you into marriage either. She needs to grow up a little and have faith in you and the strength of your relationship.

[SoloAJ]

I don't have much input on the issue, but my ex-girlfriend definitely gave me an answer of "I don't know if I'll ever entirely trust someone again" because of issues in her past.

I think it is the type of thing that some women (and men, obviously) latch onto the distrust and just hold on as tight as they can. It is almost like they do not want to ever take a leap of faith. They just like sitting in their circle of self-pity and expecting the worst from the world.

I don't mean that to sound harsh, but I realize I worded it too poorly for it not to.

Basically, my only input (from my few years of experience) is that this might be something that doesn't have some rainbows and lollipops simple answer. The human mind works in mysterious ways, and I've found that "trust" is a particularly hard concept for some.

[MyJunkIsYou]

I have a question, though it's in the context of a story. Here goes.

I went to see my friend's band perform in one of numerous trendy bars downtown. I live in new york city so there's tons of things like this going on. It's a small, sort of packed venue. I'm in a corner with a drink and just sort of rocking out because I love the music of the band.

3 girls make their way near me, let's call them girl A, girl B, and girl C. Girl A was the first one to say something to me, I say something back, casual flirting I guess. 10 minutes later, girl A makes another remark to me before huddling with her friends, and as I remark back, girls B and C also give me their attention, make eye contact. Still superficial interaction.

Okay so 5 more minutes go by and I finally realize one or several of them might be interested in me. So I now initiate a comment and they are extremely receptive to me. All of them make comments and give me eye contact and are laughing. I sort of withdraw now (as some kind of tactic to not make myself seem overly interested) but I've now concluded two things - girl A is definitely the leader of the group and the most dominant among them, but girl C is the cutest and the one I'm interested in.

More time goes by and girl B, the one who is closest to me and standing adjacent to me, starts rubbing up against me while the music is playing. I was slightly dancing as well and just sort of allow her to do this for 5 minutes or so. She then remarks "do you know how to swing dance?" and I say no blah blah, just something to diffuse it since I've no idea how to dance at all really. Remember this is girl B who did/said this.

Okay so after the band is done with its set, the three girls and I talk for a little bit, they introduce themselves, and they tell me they're leaving to go to some other bar now, and would I like to join them. I accept their offer.

We now talk for a while on the way to the new bar, and I spend some time talking 1on1 with girl C and I feel like I'm making a connection with her.

We get to the new bar and I sit down next to girl C with girls A and B across from us. We talk a bunch more. It turns out that girl B is married, lol. Whilst at the bar girl A and B get up to get drinks for the 4 of us and I get some time to talk alone with girl C and we make more of a connection.

The girls are all successful women in the business world and they talk about taking a trip to italy this june, and they say I should go with them. We're all getting along merrily.

We talk more and the girls bring up the subject of my age. Turns out they thought I was like 28 (I'm 23) - and turns out they're all in their early 30's. Here's where I felt I might've gone wrong. I started to get a little ga-ga over girl C because I realized how refreshing it was that she was so mature and articulate and had great social skills. Girl B had to leave early (she communicated this from before we even got to the 2nd bar) because she had an early meeting tomorrow, and girl A said she lived near her so she was just going to take a cab home with her, but for us (me and girl C) not to feel like we had to be in a rush to leave. Girl A gave me her card before she left.

This is my first question - girl A and girl C were best friends, was girl A purposefully reading the situation and leaving me alone with girl C in order for something to develop between us? Was girl C's willingness to stay alone with me after that a sign that she was interested in me romantically?

The way it turned out, we talked for a bit more and then there was that..you know..awkward pause where I sort of just take a drink of my wine and look ahead not sure what to say or do. At that point she then said she should be getting home. We exit the bar, and we're both going to take cabs home (although she's going in the opposite direction) and she says let's walk to "___ street" to get a cab, and we're just walking, and I'm just completely unsure of the situation, which brings me to another set of questions. Was I right to doubt that girl C wanted anything more than just friendship, or was she obviously screaming "please [censored] me" (as some of my friends have told me, but I don't trust their opinions) or what was the deal. The thing is, these were genuinely awesome people who if nothing else I indeed would love to be friends with, plus they're all fans of my friend's band so it's not like I was never going to see them again - with that said, should I have still tried to make a move on girl C? If so, how? I'm fairly inept with doing anything romantic or sexual on the same night as first meeting a girl so I am pretty clueless as to the nature of what happened, or what could or should have happened. It's been bothering me since if girl C was as into me as my friends would have me believe, I feel like I blew a really good opportunity with an amazing girl. I will probably see her again at the band's next show which is coming up but I imagine I already screwed it up to the point of being permanently in friend zone.

Anyway, sorry I know this is long and I'm not even sure if this is the right forum/thread for this, but any and all advice would be very, very appreciated. thank you

[katyseagull]

[ QUOTE ]

It just kinda hit me. You are implying or saying that you are the quiet introverted nice girl. Is my understanding correct? If so, do you see the irony of saying that as you hold court with a group of men on a almost exclusively male message board?


[/ QUOTE ]

No I do not see the irony. Explain. what is this holding court phrase?



[ QUOTE ]


1) why do you post/moderate on a mostly male message board?
2) How did you first come to post here?
3) Is your extroverted online persona different than your real life persona?

[/ QUOTE ]


1. because Mat asked me to and it seemed like a challenge. Also, I'm hoping and thinking that the lounge isn't a mostly male message board. I would like to get more girls starting threads and contributing.

2. I came to 2+2 a couple years ago because I started watching poker on TV and then playing with my sister and her friends and became pretty obsessed with it. I started to read a couple poker blogs and found out there are some very good writers out there. Like extremely good. Anyway, I blame it on Paul Phillips. I clicked on a link and bounced into 2+2 and his famous Chris Brown thread and have been here ever since. I'm hooked. I just really love it.


3. I'm not sure if my online persona is different from my real life persona. I suppose it has to be. Do you think I'm extroverted online? I think I am not at all.

[Shadowrun]

Holding court means having everyones attention as i understand the phrase, similarly when Royalty would speak everyone would be paying attention.

the irony would be if you are a quiet shy girl in real life (not saying you are but explaining the irony) then it is ironic that on 2+2 you have the attention of an overwhelming male message board.

[Utah]

[ QUOTE ]
Holding court means having everyones attention as i understand the phrase, similarly when Royalty would speak everyone would be paying attention.

the irony would be if you are a quiet shy girl in real life (not saying you are but explaining the irony) then it is ironic that on 2+2 you have the attention of an overwhelming male message board.

[/ QUOTE ]
That explains it quite nicely [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Utah]

[ QUOTE ]
Do you think I'm extroverted online? I think I am not at all.

[/ QUOTE ]
Your 2500+ posts say you are. Starting a thread titled, "Ask the 2+2 Ladies Your Questions" says the same thing. So, the answer is yes. of course. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Anacardo]

I'd love to address all this nonsense, but, well, y'know.

[VoraciousReader]

[ QUOTE ]
the irony would be if you are a quiet shy girl in real life (not saying you are but explaining the irony) then it is ironic that on 2+2 you have the attention of an overwhelming male message board.

[/ QUOTE ]

Once you admit to being a girl on 2p2 who is of an age to be at least remotely datable by the 2p2 population it is impossible to avoid the attention of an overwhelmingly male message board.