Ask the 2+2 Ladies Your Questions

[Utah]

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Let me try again [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

The wild chick, while not nearly as awesome as the nice girl, can occasionally portray an image that a few men will find moderately enticing when the far more attractive nice girl isn't around.

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Very nice [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

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It just kinda hit me. You are implying or saying that you are the quiet introverted nice girl. Is my understanding correct? If so, do you see the irony of saying that as you hold court with a group of men on a almost exclusively male message board?

I apologize if the following have been answered but I glanced through the thread and I didn't see answers to the following:

1) why do you post/moderate on a mostly male message board?
2) How did you first come to post here?
3) Is your extroverted online persona different than your real life persona?

[kerowo]

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Let me try again [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

The wild chick, while not nearly as awesome as the nice girl, can occasionally portray an image that a few men will find moderately enticing when the far more attractive nice girl isn't around.

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Very nice [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

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It just kinda hit me. You are implying or saying that you are the quiet introverted nice girl. Is my understanding correct? If so, do you see the irony of saying that as you hold court with a group of men on a almost exclusively male message board?

I apologize if the following have been answered but I glanced through the thread and I didn't see answers to the following:

1) why do you post/moderate on a mostly male message board?
2) How did you first come to post here?
3) Is your extroverted online persona different than your real life persona?

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Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Don't mistake the pseudo anonymity of an online board with honest-to-god face-to-face interaction. They aren't the same.

[arsenal905]

Katy,

Would it bother you if the person you were in a relationship w/ didnt respect your two closest friends? How would you deal with such a situation? What if you admitted his opinions were valid? Would this be a relationship ending problem?

[Anacardo]

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If you're asking people if they think they're clever or especially perceptive, the answer is generally going to be "yes."

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I cheerfully concede!

[Anacardo]

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hey have a tendency to ask a string of questions in succession that just gets to be too much (hm, come to think of it I do this a lot ) or else they go on and on about themselves or they sulk in a corner.

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I have done all these things at least occasionally my entire life, most of which would be described as anything but 'lonely' and/or 'desperate.' I don't know how to exude indifference; I am one intense son of a bitch. I still think you're a loon for thinking 'indifference' is a plus. I chatter and wisecrack constantly in the presence of strangers. I constantly, vocally compare people and their perceptions to myself and my own. And this is when I'm on my enchant-the-masses, silver-tongued A game.

Emphatic conclusion: I am entirely unsuited to the katyseagulls of the world. Not a one of your preferences fits with my instincts.

Next set of questions: By rough percentage approximation, how many women do your views on men represent? How can I learn to identify and disregard them on sight? Nothing personal, just trying to narrow my target demographic.

Yours in statistics,

T. d A. y C.

[Anacardo]

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Good point but but you can only be a footstool for so long before you become trained to be a jerk.

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Perhaps some self-proclaimed nice guys come off as a little "bitter" or "angry"?

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I can't help but feel that I should field this one.

I'm exactly what you're talking about. That's well known. And I don't like it. I've gone from grief to depression to toying-with-madness to, now, a fairly steady state of resentment, jealousy, bitterness, frustration and anger. I can think back on times when I felt far worse, but was still on some level secure in my own.. virtue, I guess, and proud of myself for it. I used to think of myself as things like: patient, kind, generous-spirited, always ready to help somebody out of a jam or do a good turn. Now I feel like those qualities erode more every day. Every pretty, flirty girl who turns out to have a steady boyfriend; every story of somebody else's idiot lover forgiven, everything that reminds me of my own loneliness, all just makes me madder and madder and madder. I really don't know how to deal with it. I just try to be mindful of it, and treat it like a concussion, or some other sort of head trauma; remember you're impaired, take it easy, and don't do anything stupid. But it doesn't go away, and every day it grows is probably driving solutions further and further away. What can you do?

[ChipStorm]

katy/cardo/blarg,

There are fine lines dividing indifference, despair, and detachment.

Indifference: One can simply not care about a situation (or person). Not encouraging/endearing.

Despair: One can have given up on a situation (or themselves). Not at ALL encouraging/endearing.

Detachment: One can care deeply about a person/situation/themselves, but have the emotional maturity to stand back, and to view things rationally without getting emotionally invested or overwrought. The ability to exercise detachment, as one's judgement dictates, is a skill of self-control. And while potentially very encouraging/endearing (IMO), it can also very easily be mistaken by observers as being one of the former two.


Separately, katy, Blarg nailed it but I want to elaborate: guys may be driven at any given moment by (a) sex drive or (b) other social factors unrelated to sex. When it's (a), we're looking for a most likely candidate, and the visible, audible, extrovert gets a LOT of attention simply because she is a higher-probability mark. When it's (b), we're thinking about stability, companionship, security, and an infinity of other factors that will lead us naturally away from the wild, and to the calm and quiet.

[ystr82u]

First of all, sorry for using an alias, i would really appreciate if i can remain "undercover"
I have a rather big problem right now.
I have been engaged with a girl for almost 3 years now, everything clicked from the beginning, she's smart, beautiful and has a great sense of humor.
i'm gonna tell you now a few of the things that happened during these three years.
first of all, before i met her i was a total degenerate, every night in clubs, different girl every week (not saying this for a brag or something like that).
saw her a few times and really had a crush on her. then we got acquainted and actually talked and i realized i really wanted to be with her not for a one week thing, i just wanted to live with her and be with her forever.
i started talking to her more, and i kinda lied about my past and stuff like that (she didnt have any sexual experience at 21 yrs old, solid education and morals and the type of girl that has always thought about being with only one man in her life). i was crazy about her and finally we got together. after a few months we made love and all that and i was truly one happy person.
then things from the past started to appear, things that i never wanted her to know, like how many women ive been with, what crazy things i used to do. but somehow slowly they all came out (damn lies always are discovered).
we had huge fights (and i mean huge) and her trust in me was almost zero.
after that long period of fights, i think that actually love prevailed and we were still together but everything was changed.
that happened like two years ago and still, after all this time she doesnt have full confidence in me although i have never took another girls' number, or cheated or flirted with chicks. i really do love her.
she was the best thing that ever happened to me, since i met her i got from a stupid college student to a manager in a big networking company.
thing is i hate life right now. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] i really do. she still suspects me every day of having affairs and i just cant take the stress anymore.
ive paid for everything she ever needed in the past years, i worked a lot to get where i am now and i never asked her to work or something like that, i just ask her to study to finish college.
about me, i'm your average guy, nothing in particular, not ugly or handsome just average. im good though with people, ive always gotten easily in any circle of people and talk to them, i dont consider myself very smart although my IQ a good amount above average.
i dont know how i was like that with women before i met her, it was just so easy to get them, guess it's just the way i am that made things easy.
anyways enough of this.
i really need serious advice about what can i do to make her fully trust me again and not be constantly stressed with her questions like "how many girl coworkers you have?", "saw any girl you liked?" and all that [censored], it's tearing me apart.
i must add that she is very beautiful and ive loved the way she looked since the first day i saw her and i really never wanted to have sex with anyone else.
i really need some advice
thank you and sorry for the spelling errors

[SoloAJ]

I thought this thread had died. Glad to see I was wrong.

Just a fun side question....

Have you ever lied to a guy about how many guys you'd been with? This is something guys do a lot I'm sure, just wondering if females do it too.

Movies tell me yes, but we all know where that can lead ya....

[pryor15]

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Movies tell me yes, but we all know where that can lead ya....

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are you implying that movies aren't the most reliable version of reality? say it ain't so, Solo

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