BBV Anonymous Confessions

[adanthar]

This would probably be funnier in the alternate universe where the old lady sprouts tentacles and comes after the OP

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When I was about 17, a buddy and I where driving home in my car. We came to an intersection that had a stop sign and a 1 way street that you could only turn left. The street was usually busy, with three lanes of traffic. This intersection was at the top of a hill so you had to watch carfully before making your left as cars could suddenly appear of the crest of the hill with out warning.
Anyways we pulled up to this interesection behind a gray haired lady driving a land yaught, to my suprise she was over at the right with her right hand turning light on. I looked at her eyes in her review mirror and saw she was looking back my way.
I decided I wanted to see her pull into on coming traffic for my entertainment, so thanks to some quick thinking, I pulled to the right behind her and put my right turn signal on too.
I then clicked it off as she started making her turn, heading the wrong way down the busy one way street.
Just as her nose was half way across the first lane a car came speeding over the hill, my buddy and I both had that reflex that makes you lift your knees towards your stomach when your about to see something horrifing. The car locked up its breaks and she lifted her hands in horror as it came to a screeching halt a few inches from her driver side door. More traffic came over the hill and stopped, horns where honking. I quietly made my left turn and laughed the entire way home.

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[adanthar]

This would probably be funnier in the alternate universe where the goat sprouts tentacles and comes after the OP

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Forgive me BBV, for I have sinned.

On a camping holiday in Wales, a friend and I had spent the evening in a pub in a local village. After a lock in, and far too many beers we started to make the 3 mile walk back to the campsite during the early hours of the morning. Rather than take the familiar route along the roads back we became convinced we could save time by cutting across country. An hour or so later, totally lost and miles away from any sign of civilisation we came across a disused quarry.

It was pretty dark that night and we couldn't really see the bottom. I think it started from an argument about how deep the quarry was - which we tried to settle by dropping stones off the edge and judge how long it took to hear it hit the bottom (dumb, I know, but we were totalled) - but whatever it was, we found ourselves hugely amused by throwing rocks, and whatever else we could find, down there and listening to the echoes. This evolved into a competition of who could find the largest rock or boulder to push over the edge.

I was initially most unimpressed when I saw my friend dragging over a huge railway sleeper knowing that there was no way I would be able to out do him after this. Pretty soon though, that turned into pure drunken excitement about the crash it was gonna cause if we could get it to the edge. I gave him a hand and between us we drunkenly dragged it over to edge. With one final monumental effort we pushed the sleeper over the edge, leaving both of us on our knees, out of breath and staring down into the darkness.

It was then I became aware of the rope tied to the sleeper, that was now taut between us and being pulled rapidly into the quarry. I remember looking back just soon enough to see the poor goat that had been tied to it flying overhead and away into the darkness below.

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edit: after the snopes revelation, I stand by my assertion that this story would be funnier if the goat sprouted tentacles

[dlorc]

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This would probably be funnier in the alternate universe where the goat sprouts tentacles and comes after the OP

[ QUOTE ]
Forgive me BBV, for I have sinned.

On a camping holiday in Wales, a friend and I had spent the evening in a pub in a local village. After a lock in, and far too many beers we started to make the 3 mile walk back to the campsite during the early hours of the morning. Rather than take the familiar route along the roads back we became convinced we could save time by cutting across country. An hour or so later, totally lost and miles away from any sign of civilisation we came across a disused quarry.

It was pretty dark that night and we couldn't really see the bottom. I think it started from an argument about how deep the quarry was - which we tried to settle by dropping stones off the edge and judge how long it took to hear it hit the bottom (dumb, I know, but we were totalled) - but whatever it was, we found ourselves hugely amused by throwing rocks, and whatever else we could find, down there and listening to the echoes. This evolved into a competition of who could find the largest rock or boulder to push over the edge.

I was initially most unimpressed when I saw my friend dragging over a huge railway sleeper knowing that there was no way I would be able to out do him after this. Pretty soon though, that turned into pure drunken excitement about the crash it was gonna cause if we could get it to the edge. I gave him a hand and between us we drunkenly dragged it over to edge. With one final monumental effort we pushed the sleeper over the edge, leaving both of us on our knees, out of breath and staring down into the darkness.

It was then I became aware of the rope tied to the sleeper, that was now taut between us and being pulled rapidly into the quarry. I remember looking back just soon enough to see the poor goat that had been tied to it flying overhead and away into the darkness below.

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www.snopes.com

gg

[goofyballer]

This thread is amazing. I hope the updates never stop.

[private joker]

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This would probably be funnier in the alternate universe where the old lady sprouts tentacles and comes after the OP

[ QUOTE ]
When I was about 17, a buddy and I where driving home in my car. We came to an intersection that had a stop sign and a 1 way street that you could only turn left. The street was usually busy, with three lanes of traffic. This intersection was at the top of a hill so you had to watch carfully before making your left as cars could suddenly appear of the crest of the hill with out warning.
Anyways we pulled up to this interesection behind a gray haired lady driving a land yaught, to my suprise she was over at the right with her right hand turning light on. I looked at her eyes in her review mirror and saw she was looking back my way.
I decided I wanted to see her pull into on coming traffic for my entertainment, so thanks to some quick thinking, I pulled to the right behind her and put my right turn signal on too.
I then clicked it off as she started making her turn, heading the wrong way down the busy one way street.
Just as her nose was half way across the first lane a car came speeding over the hill, my buddy and I both had that reflex that makes you lift your knees towards your stomach when your about to see something horrifing. The car locked up its breaks and she lifted her hands in horror as it came to a screeching halt a few inches from her driver side door. More traffic came over the hill and stopped, horns where honking. I quietly made my left turn and laughed the entire way home.

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I have a logical problem with this story. If she was turning right -- onto a one-way street where traffic was only going left, then traffic was coming from the right-hand side -- which, in the United States, is the passenger-side door. Not the driver's side, as indicated in the confession. There's no way the other car could have come to a "screeching halt a few inches from her driver side door" unless he was going the wrong way too.

[gumpzilla]

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This would probably be funnier in the alternate universe where the old lady sprouts tentacles and comes after the OP

[ QUOTE ]
When I was about 17, a buddy and I where driving home in my car. We came to an intersection that had a stop sign and a 1 way street that you could only turn left. The street was usually busy, with three lanes of traffic. This intersection was at the top of a hill so you had to watch carfully before making your left as cars could suddenly appear of the crest of the hill with out warning.
Anyways we pulled up to this interesection behind a gray haired lady driving a land yaught, to my suprise she was over at the right with her right hand turning light on. I looked at her eyes in her review mirror and saw she was looking back my way.
I decided I wanted to see her pull into on coming traffic for my entertainment, so thanks to some quick thinking, I pulled to the right behind her and put my right turn signal on too.
I then clicked it off as she started making her turn, heading the wrong way down the busy one way street.
Just as her nose was half way across the first lane a car came speeding over the hill, my buddy and I both had that reflex that makes you lift your knees towards your stomach when your about to see something horrifing. The car locked up its breaks and she lifted her hands in horror as it came to a screeching halt a few inches from her driver side door. More traffic came over the hill and stopped, horns where honking. I quietly made my left turn and laughed the entire way home.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

I have a logical problem with this story. If she was turning right -- onto a one-way street where traffic was only going left, then traffic was coming from the right-hand side -- which, in the United States, is the passenger-side door. Not the driver's side, as indicated in the confession. There's no way the other car could have come to a "screeching halt a few inches from her driver side door" unless he was going the wrong way too.

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BBV should start writing Encyclopedia Brown stories.

[I dunno]

[ QUOTE ]
This would probably be funnier in the alternate universe where the old lady sprouts tentacles and comes after the OP

[ QUOTE ]
When I was about 17, a buddy and I where driving home in my car. We came to an intersection that had a stop sign and a 1 way street that you could only turn left. The street was usually busy, with three lanes of traffic. This intersection was at the top of a hill so you had to watch carfully before making your left as cars could suddenly appear of the crest of the hill with out warning.
Anyways we pulled up to this interesection behind a gray haired lady driving a land yaught, to my suprise she was over at the right with her right hand turning light on. I looked at her eyes in her review mirror and saw she was looking back my way.
I decided I wanted to see her pull into on coming traffic for my entertainment, so thanks to some quick thinking, I pulled to the right behind her and put my right turn signal on too.
I then clicked it off as she started making her turn, heading the wrong way down the busy one way street.
Just as her nose was half way across the first lane a car came speeding over the hill, my buddy and I both had that reflex that makes you lift your knees towards your stomach when your about to see something horrifing. The car locked up its breaks and she lifted her hands in horror as it came to a screeching halt a few inches from her driver side door. More traffic came over the hill and stopped, horns where honking. I quietly made my left turn and laughed the entire way home.

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You're a sick [censored].

as played it's still funny [censored].