Once a cheater always a cheater.........

[chopstick]

[ QUOTE ]

I have never cheated and do not believe that I ever would.

Having been cheated on, I believe that "once a cheater, always a cheater" is 100% true.

Someone that has cheated in the past, "has it in them" and while they may not be currently cheating, when the opportunity comes in the future, they will have to decide if to cheat or not, where as the non-cheater has no decision to make.

The decision itself is a form of cheating when you really think about it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not really sure where to start here.

OK, I got it.

wtf.

Now that that's out of the way:

How does being cheated on create the once/always position? Because it happened multiple times? I'm curious how this makes sense to you.

What is "has it in them"? What is "it"? Some uncontrollable compulsion? When does "it" get in them, and how?

I want to address the "has no decision to make" and "the decision itself" arguments, but every time I start to write a response I feel like my brain is melting a little. It's like responding to a "Glutamate knits better catalytic converters than fireplaces do." statement. I just feel like I've been transplanted to some other universe where logic doesn't have any connection to reality. I'm guessing this is because the positions are emotionally-derived and driven, and poor old logic was pushed out of the car some number of miles back.

--

I've never cheated, nor do I think I ever would. I completely disagree with Bytor's arguments. People do change. It doesn't happen often, and it usually takes a significant life event (more often than not, with an extreme emotional component), but it's hardly impossible. I find that people that adhere to the once/always argument are usually either shortcutting behavioral analysis for their own purposes, or have some kind of emotional experience with the subject that affects their ability to approach it without bias.

And that's just regarding deliberate and/or non-compromised judgment cheating. The I-got-drunk-I-don't-believe-I-did-that cheating is a whole different ball of wax. While I do think people are responsible for their actions while under the influence of something that affects their judgment (assuming they voluntarily took it), that's still a completely different thing than the person who cheats because they are bored or want to get back at someone. The motivations do matter, especially when dealing with absolutist arguments like this one.

[By-Tor]

The 'has it in them' remark refers the some peoples inabilities to leave a relationship if they are unhappy rather then taking the easy way out and cheating, often times intentionally to 'force the others hand'.

The non-cheater leaves the relationship first, because they do not understand the concept of cheating. It is black & white wrong to them and the thought never crosses their mind.

The cheater thinks more selfishly and makes a on-the-fly decision. Yes, in many cases, such as TD above, that decision is made very early on in the relationship, but it is still a concious decision that has to be made in the cheaters mind.


(this is all IMO of course).

[PITTM]

everyone in the oot post is asking what i did, and i cant respond there, so i will have to post it here. When I first started playing internet pokers in 2003 before i found 2p2, my roommate and i started playing on pacific poker. after awhile, he said, hey, lets play on the same table, i thought it would be fun, so i said okay. we played some .05/.1 limit table and if i had aces or somesuch i would say "hey dude, fold! i have aces!". it took us about 2 weeks to realize this was retarded in lots of ways. so we stopped doing this. I posted that pacific poker had an obvious flaw since you could sit at the same table from the same IP address in the zoo. Grannymae decided that i was the worst cheating scum on the face of the planet and then decided to troll me for years. Recently, i got temp banned for doing one thing that was even slightly trollish back to grannymae, not that this site ever subscribes to double standards or anything...

anyways, thats what i did. i apologized and i dont cheat anymore. originally i said we made money. i have no idea if that is actually true or not. again, i apologize for doing it and i think it was a poor decision on my part.

yeah, feel free to xpost this to oot or whatever.

[thatpfunk]

i had no problem with it when i was younger. you get lazy and comfortable in relationships that really arent that important.

now i would never do it, ive actually had nightmares in which i have cheated on my current gf and had to tell her.

i think getting older and just maturing changed it for me.

[DeezNuts]

[ QUOTE ]
PITTM is a cheater, he always will be a cheater and I'll never respect him ever. He'll no doubt profess he's a non-cheater but everybody knows what kind of douchebag scum he is. He's also fat.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you also very fat?

[PITTM]

not really. im 6'1" 215. so not really fat, but certainly not skinny either.

[Anacardo]

RJ's big.
Schneider's fast.
RJ's big.
Schneider's fast.
RJ'S BIG
SCHNEIDER'S FAST
RJ IS BIG
WHILE SCHNEIDER IS FAST

DO YOU [censored] GET IT
DO YOU [censored] UNDERSTAND

[fish2plus2]

Ive never been cheated on and sometime I wonder how I would respond. Sometimes, I think I would just leave and never talk to her again, and other times I think I would just shrug my shoulders and say whatever, forget it. ((assuming she confronted me out of guilt and felt bad about it, not if I found out about it on my own))

fwiw, she has told me many times that if I ever leave or cheat on her that she will wait five years to show me what true love is. holla! (j/k)